


Honeypot

by Ameera



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: AU, Angst, Espionage, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Section 31
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 12:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 53,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12253977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameera/pseuds/Ameera
Summary: Julian Bashir was recruited by an Admiral Sloan to find out who this Mr. Garak on Deep Space Nine truly is. The method used to get this information is up to him, so Julian figured he might as well use his natural charms and see where they take him.----AU where Julian honeypots Garak. Garak is told by Tain to honeypot Julian. They're both really bad at not falling in love. But, hey, they're cute.





	1. Sightseeing

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this since I need more time on the next chapter of Where Your Loyalties Lie and I still want to update daily. Anyway, this probably won't be consistently updated until I finish Where Your Loyalties Lie, but once that's done (shouldn't be too long, tbh) I will switch to regularly updating this one! :D

Dr. Julian Bashir’s mission was clear: gather information from Deep Space Nine’s resident Cardassian. Starfleet Intelligence had approached him after he’d uncovered Dr. Raynor Deon’s drug dealing to the Orion Syndicate through his hospital. While the complete ruining of his relationship with Palis had hurt, he couldn’t say he regretted turning her father in. After all, the man was a criminal and now he was being given the chance to actually live out his fantasy of being a spy! Julian was filled with anxiety and glee at his first assignment for both the Medical and Intelligence professions.

                The sorry state of the infirmary had been disappointing and he knew his work was cut out for him as CMO, but he needed to act as though he _wanted_ to work on the frontier. It was a bit of an adjustment, just a month ago he’d been planning to resign his Starfleet commission, get married to Palis, and work to become chief of surgery at her father’s hospital. Suddenly he was a Starfleet agent as well as a doctor and he was planning to seduce a much older male Cardassian. Julian’s life had certainly taken an unexpected turn.

                Julian had been briefed in Cardassian flirtation techniques by a few Bajoran Starfleet members who were all too familiar, but was also encouraged to try any method that seemed effective. It didn’t _have_ to be seduction, Julian could persuade Garak to defect through friendship or appealing to a sense of logic, but he was actually a little excited to play the suave and romantic spy. He strutted into Garak’s Clothiers with a bright smile on his face which was met by one of curiosity from his target.

“May I help you, Lieutenant?” The Cardassian practically glided over with an eager to please look.

“Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Julian Bashir.” Julian nodded curtly with a small smirk. He didn’t offer his hand with his introduction, just the cool confidence of a man who knew his importance. “Based on this store’s name you must be Garak.” He then directed his attention to the shop itself, glancing around at his surroundings. “And you’re a…” He looked Garak up and down with an amused expression. “Tailor?” There. That seemed reasonably adversarial to get the repartee going. Cardassian flirting was odd, though Julian did enjoy the game that seemed to be behind it.

“I may be.” Garak narrowed his eyes and looked Julian up and down as well. “Are you in need of a tailor?”

“I may be.” Julian licked his lips and gave a sly grin before turning around quickly and pointing at one of the mannequins. “Is this more typical of Bajoran fashion or Cardassian?” Julian immediately saw his mistake when he actually looked at the outfit. It was a gaudy kind of tailcoat that was definitely on the smaller scale. There was really only one species on the station that would wear that.

“Ferengi.” Garak answered with clear amusement in his voice.

“Huh.” Julian attempted to regain power in the conversation. “I would have guessed Cardassian.” That seemed appropriately insulting.

“You’d have guessed wrong.” Garak grinned. “Not that you avoided revealing your ignorance by giving only the options of Bajoran or Cardassian.” Garak moved over to the mannequin and fiddled with the sleeve of the coat. “I can’t picture either species sporting this.”

“Then perhaps you lack imagination.” Julian scoffed. “Or I simply lack exposure to Cardassians.”

“You’ve never met one of us before?”

“I’ve never had the pleasure.” Julian took a step toward Garak with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Ah.” Garak raised an eye ridge. “So right now you’re merely sightseeing?”

“And enjoying the view.” Julian purred before suddenly turning to leave. “Stop by the infirmary if you are ill, Mr. Garak. I would love to learn more about your people.”

“It’s _just_ Garak. Plain, simple…”

“Garak.” They finished together. Julian nodded with a smile and left.

 


	2. Not Intimately

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak receives an interesting mission from Tain.

Garak had sent communique after communique to Tain, simply updating him on anything that seemed remotely interesting, but never getting a reply. They were always sent in the code that only he and his father knew, so he ran no risk of anyone else discovering their contents, but he was not even sure Tain himself cared enough to read them. That was why after he sent a report of his baffling exchange with the new doctor, Garak was shocked to get an immediate response that merely read: “He’s hiding something. Seduce him.”

                Garak could never say no to Tain, it was as if it went against his very being to disobey the man. So beyond the initial shock of the request, there was never really a question of whether or not Garak would do what he was being asked to, but simply how he would go about it. If he were to go by Cardassian cultural norms, than he was already well on his way, seeing how the doctor essentially threw himself at him. However, Garak had very little information on how humans tended to pursue a mate, so he was going to need to do some research.

                A quick search through the computer database essentially told Garak that there were multiple tactics that humans used to flirt and therefore he couldn’t rely on anticipating one type of behavior from Dr. Bashir. However, his “enjoying the view” statement was unmistakably flirtatious so there was at least some foundation for Garak to work with. Furthermore, Garak learned that humans’ pupils dilated and their cheeks would often turn red when they were attracted to someone. He hadn’t been looking for those cues before, but he would certainly look for them going forward.

                He could go to the infirmary for a visit or even just a simple physical, but that would seem a tad obvious. No, Garak had to make sure it was a true seduction, not a simple one-night-stand, or else he wouldn’t get any real information out of the man. He could try approaching him on the promenade, it wasn’t as if the station was so large they wouldn’t inevitably bump into each other again. But Garak felt he needed to act relatively quickly since it was highly possible the doctor was a casual flirt and there was a risk of a more lucrative target being receptive to his advances.

                That’s when an idea so obvious popped into Garak’s head. He grinned as he picked up his laser cutter and sliced open the back of his hand. Garak’s wire filled his body with a wonderful surge of endorphins, like the cold of the station simply melted away and he was being wrapped in warmth. Garak smiled at the wound that had just given such lovely pleasure and would now serve him so well. He made his way to the infirmary, in need of immediate attention.

“Hello again.” Dr. Bashir smirked when Garak first entered, but his eyes widened in shock when he saw Garak’s hand. “Sit down. What did you _do_?” The human quickly pushed Garak to be sitting on a bio bed and ran to grab a dermal regenerator from a first aid kit. Garak glanced around the infirmary and how it clearly was in shambles, perhaps what the doctor was hiding was whatever offense he had committed to be stuck with such a dreary posting?

“I was cutting a pattern,” Garak explained, “my hand must have slipped.” The dermal regenerator allowed for a thin layer of skin to reappear over the blood and while that normally would be a relief, it caused the wire’s effects to be lessened.

“You know, I reckon you did this on purpose.” Dr. Bashir glanced up with a wry smile. “Just to come and see me.”

“But doctor, I had _just_ seen you about an hour ago.” Garak shook his head. “Your assertion that I’m so starved for your personal attention is very odd. What would make me want to see _you_ specifically?”

“Oh, there are several possible reasons.” He put down the dermal regenerator and then lifted Garak’s hand to look over his work. “The first being that you’re attempting to bed me.” Garak blinked in surprise and felt his hand being dropped by the doctor as the man went off to search for something in the disarray of this broken down infirmary. “Another is that you disliked our first meeting so much, you’ve decided to come here and kill me.” He had a victorious grin on his face when he took out a small bottle of lotion and walked back over to Garak. “And a third would be that you’re incredibly lonely and I’m the first person to come and talk to you out of my own volition.” He placed some lotion on the hand that he’d just healed and began rubbing Garak’s hand soothingly. Garak knew the lotion was to prevent scarring, but traditionally doctors let their patients apply it themselves.

“Those are all extreme circumstances that you propose.” Garak said with a sideways glance as the doctor continued to gently stroke his hand. “Which do you hope is true?”

“Oh, I rather like all three.” His stroking became a bit slower, but it was almost more intimate this way.

“So you’d like me to be a man who came here wanting your company but not sure whether or not I want to kill you or sleep with you?” Garak shook his head. “Humans must be stranger than I had previously thought.”

“Have you known many humans?” Dr. Bashir was still holding Garak’s hand, but no longer rubbing the lotion on it.

“Not intimately.” Garak smirked and then felt the doctor’s breath against his cheek as he leaned in close to his ear.

“Well, we should definitely fix that.” Dr. Bashir then moved away and gave a professional smile. “I’d hate for you to only have stereotypes to work off of. Would you like to join me for lunch today?”

“Today doesn’t work for me.” Garak shook his head. It was a lie, of course, it’s not like he was terribly busy. But he couldn’t seem too eager, he had to keep a bit of a chase going to create a more lasting romance. “I plan to work through most of my meals for the rest of the week.”

“I see…” Dr. Bashir looked Garak up and down suspiciously. “When _does_ work for you, since your schedule is so full.” He crossed his arms and gave out an exasperated sigh. Was he not used to not getting his way immediately? Or was he also attempting to play this game of seduction further than instant gratification?

“Difficult to say.” Garak stood up and examined his newly healed hand. “But feel free to stop by the shop if you simply wish, as I do, for some _enjoyable conversation_.” Garak began to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Oh, if only the young man knew what that meant.

“I’ll let you know.” He said with a smirk before returning to his work. Yes, this mission was going to be exhilarating as it had been too long since Garak had had a romantic partner or a good assignment from Tain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I tried to post this at like 9pm only to discover it didn't actually post?? Sorry this is so late!


	3. Need to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sisko has some questions for Dr. Bashir about his behavior.

“Thank you for coming so quickly, doctor.” Commander Sisko sat at his desk with a stern expression. With the discovery of the wormhole, the Commander’s job had been made both easier and harder. There was less resistance from the Bajorans now that he was their Emissary, but Cardassia desired Bajor again.

“Of course, sir.” Julian nodded. “What can I do for you?”

“I don’t mean to meddle in the personal affairs of my staff,” Julian knew exactly where this conversation was headed now, “but something’s been brought to my attention recently.”

“Is this about Garak, sir?” Julian quickly interjected. “If it is, I’m happy to explain.” He paused, careful with how he played the situation. “If you _order_ me to, that is.” Sisko raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“In that case, let’s call it an order.” He straightened up his posture and steepled his fingers. “Out with it, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir.” Julian grinned. “I am here on a mission from Starfleet Intelligence.” That certainly surprised the Commander. “Of course, I’m still your Chief Medical Officer, that hasn’t changed at all.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Sir, we believe Garak is staying here on assignment.” Julian continued. “If so, we need to know what that assignment is. I’m tasked with learning all I can from him. Possibly even persuading him to switch sides.”

“A honeypot.” Sisko said with widened eyes. “I must say, that explains your brazen flirtations.”

“Yes, well.” Julian chuckled to cover up the fact that he hadn’t thought he was _that_ obvious. “Cultural differences make it necessary to use very little subtlety and make sure your intention is not misunderstood.”

“Doctor, I must say.” Sisko leaned back again and readjusted his uniform with a sigh. “I don’t like this sort of thing going on without my knowing about it.”

“I did want to tell you, sir.” Julian said earnestly. “But, you see, my orders were quite clear. I could only inform you on a need to know basis.” Sisko had a small smile.

“And by having me order you, I suddenly needed to know.” He gave Julian an appreciative nod. “Well then, what should I do moving forward?”

“I should be asking you, sir.” Julian said quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was make waves. “You’re still my commanding officer, I’m really trained in the medical field over espionage.” He let out an awkward laugh. “So I’ll happily defer to your judgement on matters.”

“Well, I suppose you should continue with your mission.” Sisko sighed. “Though I’d appreciate it if you kept your pursuance out of sight from the Bajorans. Major Kira has practically threatened to talk to you herself.”

“Of course, understood, sir.” Julian nodded happily. “And thank you for handling this situation yourself, sir.” Sisko laughed.

“I can’t imagine you’d enjoy having this conversation with her.” He barked with a smile.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell her the truth anyway.” Julian shrugged. “I can only discuss this with Starfleet, and even then…”

“Need to know basis, yes, I understand.” Sisko nodded. “Well, I’ll tell the Major that you hadn’t understood the significance of half of your actions and now I’ve made you aware and you’re absolutely shocked. I think the ignorant spin will work, she doesn’t find you to be that socially conscious. No offense.”

“None taken.” Julian smiled. That was a definite lie, there was a _lot_ of offense taken at that. What had he done to give Major Kira such a low opinion of him? “Will that be all, sir?”

“Not quite.” Sisko stood up and made his way around his desk. “There’s a certain ethical quandary you’ve brought to my attention.” Sisko sighed and crossed his arms. “Were you _ordered_ to seduce this man?”

“Not exactly, sir.” Julian furrowed his brow. “Not in so many words.”

“Did you ever get the impression that you were required to do this?” Sisko’s gaze was intense.

“Oh, no, sir!” Julian quickly corrected and shook his head. “I mean, I accepted the mission and the method used is up to me.” That earned him another eyebrow raise. “It just seemed the most obvious way.” He added, Julian didn’t want to seem _too_ eager to sleep with the Cardassian tailor.

“Well, that’s a relief.” Sisko sighed, relaxing. “Thank you. Dismissed, doctor.”

“Thank you, sir.” Julian nodded and exited the office. He saw the quick glance of Major Kira and decided he might as well do some damage control. “Major, I really need to explain.” He said, bounding over to her post. She hardly seemed happy to see him approaching. “I assure you, I had _no_ idea!”

“That the Cardassians and Bajorans don’t get along?” Kira crossed her arms. “I find that hard to believe.”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” Julian shook his head. “I didn’t know that my actions could be construed as… flirtatious.” Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

“You didn’t know about the neck ridges?” She let out a laugh. “Oh, that is an unfortunate cultural misunderstanding.” Ah, so that was the public display the Bajorans objected to.

“That and the fact that they seem to think of arguing as some sort of foreplay.” Julian leaned in conspiratorially. “I thought he was just thick-skinned or something, I hadn’t known he was _enjoying_ my criticisms.”

“Well, you’re certainly in trouble now.” Kira shook her head. “Cardassians are vicious when they want something. Do you need any help getting out of it?”

“That’s quite alright, Major!” Julian straightened up with a proud grin. “I was salutatorian of my class at Starfleet Medical, I’m quite sure I can handle one Cardassian tailor myself!” As Julian turned to leave, feeling quite proud of himself for assuredly fixing his relationship with the Bajoran first officer, he missed the dramatic eye roll that she gave upon his exit.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can give him a fancy mission, but a season 1 Julian will always be a season 1 Julian no matter how you dress him up, lol.


	4. Flatterer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian comes to Garak's quarters to confess he had no idea they were flirting.

“Doctor!” Garak smiled when he opened the door to his quarters. “What a lovely surprise! Would you like to come in?”

“Thank you, Garak.” The doctor grinned as he entered. “I hope this isn’t an inconvenience.”

“Not at all, I was just doing some reading.” Garak motioned to the PADD he’d placed on the coffee table. “What can I do for you?” The flirting had been going rather well in this first week and half, so Garak imagined he already knew why Julian had appeared.

“I need to set the record straight about something.” Julian looked into Garak’s eyes sternly.

“I see…” Garak studied the man’s face carefully. “Should we perhaps sit down?” Julian nodded and the two sat next to each other on the couch.

“It’s come to my attention that we’ve been flirting.” Julian had a smirk on his face and gave Garak a sideways glance. “At least, according to the Bajorans on the station, we’ve been throwing ourselves at each other.” Garak froze. Could it actually be that he hadn’t realized this entire time? In which case, Garak would have to reevaluate his next move.

“I believe even the Bajorans would agree that it’s been _you_ who’s been throwing yourself at _me_.” Garak responded with a smirk of his own.

“I had _no idea_ that’s what I was doing.” Julian leaned in toward Garak with hooded eyes. Oh no, Garak had not been incorrect in thinking Julian knew, this was all just another game. “I wasn’t aware Cardassians viewed debate as seductive.” Julian placed a hand on Garak’s knee.

“A simple cultural misunderstanding.” Garak dismissed. “No harm done.”

“And I didn’t know about _these_.” Julian moved his other hand to lightly touch Garak’s neck ridges, causing the other man to shiver.

“An anatomical difference.” Garak let his eyes close with a smile on his face. “I do appreciate the irony of a Starfleet Doctor falling victim to such an error.”

“I hope I haven’t led you on in any way.” Julian’s hand moved further up so that it was resting on Garak’s thigh now. Garak let his eyes flutter open again.

“Again, no harm done.” Garak sighed. “I only hope I haven’t done the same. I would hate to give you the wrong impression.”

“Oh, not at all.” Julian shook his head. “Human flirtations tend to involve complimenting the other person. Almost excessively, in fact.”

“How vain of your people!” Garak gasped in mock shock. “Would you like me to praise your looks and charms like some obvious ploy? Surely you don’t need me to tell you what is already clear to everyone around you.” He leaned himself closer to Julian ever so slightly.

“Mm, is that the best you can do?” Julian purred. “You’ll have to work harder to seduce a human.”

“And you continue to insult and challenge me.” Garak smiled. “You’ve taken to Cardassian flirting so well, you’re a natural at it. I’m sure you could have your pick of the Union.”

“Flatterer.” Julian breathed before landing a kiss on Garak’s lips. When he pulled away he shook his head and sighed in defeat. “I’m sure you Cardassians even view a kiss as romantic!”

“Whether we do or not, you’re quite good at it.” Garak placed his hand on Julian’s cheek.

“I can’t say the same for you.” Julian shook his head. “I can see that you’re in need of a tutor.”

“I’m sure whoever you recommend will be excellent.” Garak smiled. Julian grinned and stroked Garak’s ridges more firmly.

“Then get yourself to the bedroom.” He purred in Garak’s ear. “Class is in session.”

\--

Garak was now lying on his back, panting and finally feeling somewhat warm on this godforsaken station. The young human had just rolled over so that he was resting against Garak’s chest, his natural heat filled Garak’s bones.

“That was wonderful.” Julian sighed.

“I had a good teacher.” Garak teased as he found himself absently playing with the soft hair on Julian’s head. Julian chuckled.

“You taught me a few things too.” Julian began tracing little circles on Garak’s chest with his finger. “And I’ll make sure to put your lessons to good use next time.” He looked up at Garak with a hopeful smile. This mission from Tain was really going to be almost too easy. Not only was Julian obviously happy to play into Garak’s hand, Garak found the young man extremely attractive and certainly a pleasure to sleep with.

“I look forward to it.” Garak smiled as he let his hand travel down Julian’s back. “You are an absolute treasure, my dear.” His words were met with a kiss from Julian.

“I like, ‘my dear,’” Julian hummed and leaned into Garak’s touch. “But should I still just call you ‘Garak’ or…?”

“My first name is ‘Elim,’ if that’s what you’re asking.” Garak nodded. “But I have no preference as to which one you use.”

“Elim…” Julian tried the name out and thought about it. “It almost sounds human in origin. Almost.”

“I see you’re back to insulting me.” Garak sighed.

“Oh, please, I think I just proved that you secretly like humans.” Julian bit his lip and smiled. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have been enjoying yourself with me so much.”

“You’re a human?” Garak gasped dramatically. Julian chuckled. “Ah well, I’m quite sure you’re not an ordinary human, or else this never would have happened.” There. The doctor flinched at that ever so slightly. Garak now suspected that maybe there was some truth to that? Julian didn’t consider himself an “ordinary human” and he’d try and discover his secret through that. “You’re clearly unique.”

“How would you know?” Julian countered. “You said before that you’ve never known any other humans intimately.”

“True enough, but I’m sure some Cardassian somewhere has.” Garak took one of Julian’s hands and began fiddling with it. “And if you were all like this, word would have spread by now about how exquisite you all are.”

“Is that common in Cardassian gossip? What aliens make the best sexual partners?”

“Perhaps if it were in a work of literature, something with poetry.” Julian laughed.

“Cardassian limericks perhaps?”

“What, pray tell, are limericks?” Garak asked as he turned Julian’s hand so he could press theirs together palm to palm.

“Short poems that all follow the same rhyming structure. Often filthy.” Garak simply tilted his head and Julian grinned mischievously. “’There once was a woman from Venus, whose body was shaped like a penis. When she met our crew, her body was blue, and therefore in need of happiness.’”

“What…” Garak blinked as he tried to process what he just heard. “What is wrong with your species?” Julian started essentially cackling at that.

“Says the Cardassian!” Julian nuzzled his face into Garak’s chest and laced their fingers together. “You’re going to have to get used to us, you know.” He propped himself up slightly and smirked as he stared into Garak’s eyes. “I know _I_ certainly plan on sticking around.”

“I suppose I’ll have to suffer through it.” Garak moved his other hand to Julian’s hair. “But really, I’d prefer to be with my own kind.”

“Then why not go to Cardassia?” Julian asked, curious.

“And leave you?” Garak shook his head. “My dear, then who would shower you with affection and tell you how wonderful you are?”

“Mm,” Julian smiled. “Who knows? If you keep that up, I may want to go to Cardassia with you.” He shrugged. “At least for a holiday, I’ve never been before and I’m sure it would be better if a native showed me around.” Garak stroked his cheek and felt a wave of sadness overcome him as he knew he could never return to his home with or without Julian. And yet, he couldn’t help but imagine Julian smiling at him on a dark and warm evening with the moons above them. They’d each have a glass of _real_ Kanar in hand and Julian’s human skin would break out into a charming sweat from the humidity, glistening in the silver moonlight.

“That would be lovely.” Garak sighed. “But rather sudden, don’t you think?”

“Of course.” Julian nodded. “But would you take me to Cardassia someday?”

“I would love to.” Garak breathed, for it was true. He would love to go to Cardassia with anyone, especially a lovely young companion so eager to please, but it was simply impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for the lateness. I was finally feeling like I could hold food down but I had nothing around so a late night outing to Denny's was in order! 
> 
> I think Julian and Garak honestly have very compatible flirting styles. They're always playing some sort of game with one another, but they never state the rules.
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoy, loves!


	5. Tense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian give each other shoulder massages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a little plot in this one, but heads up, this is just them being horny af honestly.

                Julian thought over what had just happened as he stood in the sonic shower. He’d just had sex with Garak. And, with his mission, he’d be having sex with Garak a few more times. Julian smiled at that, it really _had_ been nice and he wanted to explore every scale of that foreign body. But what Julian needed to focus on wasn’t how pleasurable the experience was, but what he’d achieved through it.

                He now knew that Garak’s first name was Elim. Not a big discovery, there was probably a record _somewhere_ that could have told him, and Garak didn’t seem that protective of the fact (it could even be a lie potentially). Still, Starfleet Intelligence had only had his name as “Garak” so they’d at least be able to update their profile on him. What truly was an interesting fact was that Garak seemed sad when Julian talked about going to Cardassia. Julian’s goal had been to bring up the man’s home world and maybe Garak would let slip what province he was from or something about his past that Julian could make a deduction from. Instead, he’d looked almost melancholy as Julian tried to talk about Cardassia.

                This could mean several things. It could mean that Garak truly would like to take Julian there, but felt it would be impossible for him to bring a human lover due to intolerance or enemies he might have. It could mean he was unable to return to Cardassia due to some political or other reason. Or it could mean that the man was simply homesick. He’d have to dig deeper to actually know if this was in any way valuable information, but he was honestly looking forward to spending more intimate moments with the man.

                Julian stepped out of the shower and put his undergarments and pants back on. He picked up the uniform top and looked at it for a moment before deciding to walk out with his chest bare.

“You have a lovely figure.” Garak smiled when he looked up from his red leaf tea.

“I actually wanted to ask you if you found me attractive at all.” Julian grinned. “I mean, from a Cardassian perspective, that is.” He sat down on the couch next to Garak, still shirtless.

“I think it’s clear that _I_ find you attractive at this point.” Garak chuckled. “But yes, I think you would be successful attracting others of my species.”

“I don’t need to attract _other_ Cardassians.” Julian shook his head. “I just want to know if there’s anything culturally that you like about my aesthetics.” Julian smiled with a shrug. “For science.”

“For science?” Garak gave an amused smirk. “Well, you have an elegant neck.” Garak cautiously moved his hand toward it and Julian leaned in so he could have better access. “Not to mention these lovely things.” Garak moved his hand to trace Julian’s collarbones. “Do all Humans have such exposed collarbones?”

“Defined, you mean?” Julian thought about it. “Not all. Some Humans’ collarbones look almost as if they’re ready to jut out of the skin, whereas others are almost completely hidden.” Julian shrugged. “Depends on the Human.”

“Well then, that’s just another thing that makes you special.” Julian smiled, although this time it was forced. He knew Garak was just being romantic and whispering sweet nothings, but he kept asserting that Julian wasn’t a regular Human, which made him nervous. It wasn’t like he wanted to be viewed as completely average, of course he wanted to be seen as brilliant, but not different. That was getting a little too close to the truth for comfort. “Is there anything about me you find appealing?”

“Very much.” Julian grinned. “Your eyes, for one, are absolutely striking.”

“Really?” Garak tilted his head in surprise. “They are obvious, I suppose, but hardly attractive to Cardassians.” Garak looked at the deep brown eyes of his new lover. “Yours are far more desirable.”

“Humans tend to like the less frequently occurring colors like blue, green, and violet.” Julian explained. “Brown is our most dominant eye color, so it’s somewhat mundane.”

“It’s our most dominant as well.” Garak nodded. “But we view the abnormalities as rather unsettling.”

“I don’t think I could ever find you unsettling.” Julian scoffed. “You’re surprisingly huggable.” Julian wrapped his arms around Garak as if to demonstrate.

“And you’re exquisitely warm.” Garak laughed as he embraced Julian back. “It’s as if you’re my own private sauna.” Julian chuckled.

“I think you’re just cold.” He squeezed Garak closer. “Honestly, Garak, you must be freezing.”

“I am on this station.” Garak let out a long-suffering sigh. “So while I don’t relish being viewed as ‘huggable,’ I certainly won’t dissuade you from doing so.”

“There’s another way I could warm you up.” Julian purred and began running his hands up and down Garak’s back.

“Honestly, my dear, you just got clean.” Garak laughed as he held Julian closer.

“True, but what if I missed a spot?” He leaned back and looked at Garak through his lashes. “Would you mind checking?”

“Well, I suppose I must in order to help promote good hygiene.” Garak sighed as he pulled away. “Turn around so I can get a look at your back.” Julian smirked at Garak suspiciously but obeyed.

                He felt Garak’s fingers almost dance along his shoulders and then begin to knead the muscles there. It was like nothing Julian had ever felt before. Suddenly he couldn’t help but close his eyes and let Garak’s massage simply take complete control.

“Do you like that, my dear?” Julian felt Garak’s breath against his neck as he whispered in his ear.

“Mm,” Julian hummed in response.

“My! Not even able to form a sentence, that is surprising.” Garak chuckled before lightly nipping at Julian’s ear. Julian moaned in response. “I should have given you a massage earlier, you’re so tense.” Julian leaned back into the touch more as he began to feel more and more relaxed.

“Mm, fuck me.” He sighed contentedly.

“Surely you can ask nicer than that.” Garak breathed before laying a few kisses on Julian’s neck. Julian simply let out another moan. Garak let his hand slide down and around so that he could feel Julian’s groin. “Oh my, you really are enjoying this.” Julian whimpered when the hand moved away. “But I believe the point of this was that you were going to make me warm.” Julian broke from the grip and turned around.

“Where did you learn to _do_ that?” Julian sighed and looked at Garak with wonder.

“Around, I suppose.” Garak shrugged. “I didn’t expect you to be so moved by it. Then again, I think you seem to carry your stress in your shoulders since there were quite a few knots there.”

“Let me return the favor.” Julian licked his lips. Garak smirked and put his hand again on Julian’s hardness.

“Are you sure you don’t want this taken care of first?”

“Don’t tempt me.” Julian shook his head. “I want to hear you moaning now.” Julian certainly got his wish when he began working his hands around the Cardassian’s neck and shoulder ridges. While Julian had been more moved by the anticipation of sex and the utter relaxation he was receiving, Garak seemed to be in an almost orgasmic state. Still, the doctor in Julian couldn’t help but move his hands down to Garak’s shoulder blades to try and release some of the tension there. Garak made a whining noise when he was no longer stroking the ridges. “I just want to fix some of your back pain.” Julian explained.

“A noble cause.” Garak leaned back and turned his head so he could face Julian a bit better. “But if your hands are there, my ridges become neglected, and I must say that is unfortunate.” Julian smirked.

“It doesn’t have to be that way.” While he continued to move his hands lower, now focusing on a knot in Garak’s lower back, he moved his mouth over Garak’s right shoulder ridge. Garak gasped in excitement.

“Shall we return to the bedroom?” Garak said breathlessly. Julian rested his chin on the man’s shoulder.

“Why? You’re still tense.” He brought his nose up to brush Garak’s cheek. “Don’t you want me to finish your massage?” He nipped lightly at the ridges that went to Garak’s chin.

“You know full well that I won’t truly relax until you stop toying with me.” Garak moaned as Julian reached his hand down his trousers to feel his everted cock.

“Fair enough.” Julian sighed. “But know that I’ll enter it into my official medical log that you’re refusing to complete treatment.”

“I’m willing to take that risk.” Garak said before turning around. “Now are you going to come with me or will I have to carry you?”

“I believe I can handle walking.” Julian smirked. “But don’t think I’m not expecting you to carry me one of these days.” He stood up and took Garak’s hand and began tugging him toward the bedroom.

“I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I did not expect to be enjoying this fic so much. Like, it has been a joy writing it so far and I hope you guys are liking it because there is SO MUCH MORE to come! :D


	6. Ultimatum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian pushes further in their new relationship to prove to Garak that some behavior changes may be in order.

Julian couldn’t shake the image of Tahna Los’ wounds from his mind. Was it possible that Garak had ever done something so horribly cruel to a person? He was so gentle and soft with Julian, yet he knew that Starfleet wouldn’t have sent him if there wasn’t good reason to suspect that he was a spy. Maybe he didn’t torture, it was possible, but he almost definitely contributed to a society that could easily commit such atrocities. It made Julian’s stomach turn.

                Garak noticed Julian’s uneasiness when he joined him for lunch. He was obviously watching Garak very closely and if his hand happened to graze Julian’s, the young man flinched before noticeably attempting to relax. This wouldn’t do for Garak’s mission, he needed to gain the man’s trust to learn whatever his secret was.

“How is the Bajoran that beamed aboard?” Garak asked carefully. “Is he alright?”

“He’s going to be fine.” Julian nodded awkwardly. “Though he was definitely tortured.” Julian’s large and beautiful eyes were looking pleadingly at Garak. Almost as if they were saying, “please tell me you would never do that” but Garak had of course tortured and interrogated, it was what he was most well-known for.

“I’m not surprised, unfortunately.” Garak sighed. “He’s Kohn Ma. Meaning, to my government, his life is forfeit.” He shook his head as if this troubled him greatly. “The Kohn Ma have killed many Cardassian families. Bajoran too, as a matter of fact. A group tends to lose sympathy when that happens.”

“Two wrongs hardly make a right.” Julian angrily stabbed his fork into his salad. “Violence doesn’t solve violence.” He sighed and then looked at Garak apologetically. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all riled up. I certainly don’t agree with the Kohn Ma either, but I don’t see how any man can deserve torture.” Julian shook his head in disgust. “I mean, what kind of monster could _do_ something like that?”

“Never a monster.” Garak held up a finger of correction. “Doctor, you must remember that these acts are committed by humanoids just like yourself, or else you will forget to be critical and wary of those around you.”

“You’re saying I won’t see a monster like that coming?” Julian leaned back and crossed his arms. “You really think I’d be so foolish as to let someone capable of that sort of thing to get close to me?” Garak smirked at how naïve the young man was.

“You may have done so already.” He purred.

“No.” Julian glared before standing up. “I haven’t.” Julian looked down his nose at Garak. “Perhaps I have been close to someone like that physically, I don’t know.” He shook his head. “But know that I would never _feel_ close to someone who condones such actions.” On that note, Julian had turned away in a huff and Garak was left in shock.

Had that just been an ultimatum? You can condone torture and be alone, or you can be with me and turn your back on Cardassia. It seemed like that was what Julian was saying, but that would also imply that he was suspicious of Garak’s past. That wasn’t a stretch, there were rumors all over the station about Garak being a spy, they simply didn’t realize he was an exile. Garak felt a twinge of guilt as he watched Julian leave. He couldn’t respect the man’s wishes, he would continue to be willing to torture and kill for Cardassia, but he would not stop pursuing Julian, otherwise he’d be failing in his mission to Tain. He had no choice but to reel the young man back in.

\--

                Julian thought over his actions at the replimat carefully. The plan was that he’d start with flirtatious Cardassian debate with Garak, and then allow it to escalate so that it would seem natural for Julian to storm off with the implication that Garak would have to accept Starfleet ideals to be with him. He would then appear at Garak’s quarters, visibly upset, apologizing for losing his temper but saying that this was important to him but that he was willing to table the issue for another time.

                This would all serve to begin the concept of Garak defecting, or at least thinking about it. However, Julian had to make sure he didn’t seem like that was his end game. He needed to present this all like a regular budding relationship, but convince Garak that he was someone worth pursuing more seriously, and therefore making serious changes in his life. The _fantastic_ sex was definitely a good start. But what was even better, was Julian hadn’t even gotten a chance to “apologize” and Garak had already suggestively asked him to go to the shop at 20:55 exactly.

“You’re late!” Garak hissed. That had been intentional, he wanted Garak to work for his forgiveness a bit, but somehow the Cardassian’s demeanor hadn’t been what he’d expected. “Now here, go take this into the fitting room and try it on however many times you like.” Julian was surprised to have a suit shoved into his hands and then find himself thrown into the fitting room.

                _What just happened?_ Julian thought. He looked at the suit in the mirror, holding it up to himself. It really didn’t look like anything he would wear, it was a dull gray for starters. Suddenly, Julian’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard two new voices. Klingon voices.

“What’s bilitrium?” Julian asked once the Duras sisters had left. Garak immediately explained the gravity of the situation and how Tahna Los was preparing to make a bomb. Julian processed the information and then smiled. “And you’re telling Starfleet?”

“I’m telling _you_ , my dear.” Garak smirked. “If you feel it necessary to inform Starfleet, well, that’s your business.”

“I see…” Julian nodded. He was trying to figure out if that meant Garak was willing to work with Starfleet, or just with Julian. It could also hold no significance, as the Cardassian government certainly wanted Tahna Los stopped as well. “Is that all?”

“Not quite.” Garak took Julian’s hand and brought it to his lips. “Am I forgiven?” He asked, batting his lashes and projecting the most false presence of innocence.

“We’ll see.” Julian smirked. “Maybe we can discuss it in my quarters later tonight?”

“If you’ll have me.” Garak nodded. Julian couldn’t resist. He leaned in and purred in Garak’s ear.

“Oh, I most certainly will.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted earlier since I am exhausted and might as well, right? Enjoy!


	7. Loose Morals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian makes his report to Sisko and then finds Garak in his quarters.

                Commander Sisko had been impressed and surprised by Julian happily relaying the message of Tahna Los’ plans. He congratulated Julian on obviously making some sort of progress in getting information from Garak and Julian was positively beaming.

“You’ll let me know if you learn anything else?” Sisko was genuinely asking that as a question, but it was clearly a friendly one.

“Of course, sir!” Julian grinned. “You’ll be the first I report to on all matters. Though I will also update Admiral Sloan.”

“Admiral Sloan?” Sisko looked thoughtful, trying to remember the name.

“He’s the one who assigned me this mission.” Julian shrugged. “He’s a bit shorter, blonde, and I’d say a few years older than you. Perhaps in his late thirties, early forties? I could be wrong though.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell.” Sisko shook his head. “Have you always created profiles of people’s physical appearance or did that only start after joining Intelligence?” Sisko smirked. Julian blushed as if he’d been caught.

“I have very good recall, sir.” He gave an apologetic smile. “I suppose I’m just used to being the one to jog everyone else’s memory, so I’ve taken to almost reporting the highlights to save time.” Another shrug. “It’s not exactly intentional.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sisko smiled before sighing. “Well, it seems I have a terrorist to deal with. Tell Mr. Garak ‘thank you’ for his help.”

“I doubt he’ll believe you said that.” Julian laughed as he began to leave. “Or, even more likely, he’ll play dumb as if he has no idea what I’m referring to.”

“Either way.” Sisko sighed again. “Be careful, doctor.”

“Yes, sir. I will.”

 

\--

 

“I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.” Garak smiled as he poured two glasses of Kanar. Julian stood in the doorway dumbstruck. “Really, doctor, you _did_ invite me to your quarters.”

“I don’t suppose you’ll explain _how_ you broke in?” Julian asked as he shook his head. He walked into the room and sat down at the table. “But at least you were kind enough to have dinner waiting for me.” He smiled at the foreign dish in front of him. “It’s rather domestic of you.” He gave Garak a challenging smirk.

“Is that meant to provoke a reaction from me?” Garak sighed as he sat down at his chair next to Julian. “Everyone should know how to use a replicator and lay out a table setting.”

“Yes, but putting in the effort for another person’s benefit tends to create a sense of intimacy.” Julian placed a hand on Garak’s thigh. “Would you rather I had completely missed the gesture?” Julian leaned in for a kiss.

“Certainly not.” Garak smiled as he dodged the other man’s lips. “But I would appreciate it if you would actually _eat_ the food I’ve laid out for you.” Garak shook his head. “I do enjoy _some_ pretense before I allow myself to be ravished.” Garak lifted up his fork and began eating one of his Regova eggs.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that you’re such a delicate maiden.” Julian rolled his eyes. “Forgive me.”

“Now listen here, lieutenant.” Garak put down his fork and looked directly at Julian. “If you pursued me thinking that I am an easy target with loose morals, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

“Don’t worry.” Julian smirked. “I’m well aware that you’re a challenging target with loose morals.” He then glanced back at his meal. “What is this stuff, exactly?”

“Regova eggs in Yamok sauce.” Garak smiled as he went back to eating. “It’s a standard in Cardassian cuisine.” Julian took a bite and must have made a face. “You don’t like it?”

“I’m not quite sure yet.” He said before reaching for his Kanar to wash some of it down. “It almost tastes like vinegar? The eggs, I mean. The sauce is like a garlic kind of syrup.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Garak shrugged. “I take it those are flavors not often paired together?”

“Not often.” Julian smiled as he took another bite. “I think what threw me the most is that it smells more like pork for some reason.”

“So your sense of smell is telling you to expect one thing, while your sense of taste experiences something completely different.” Garak nodded. “I can see how that would be disorienting.”

“I’ll have to introduce you to human cuisine.” Julian took another bite. “I’d be curious to hear what you think.”

“Will it be as bitter as your alcohol?” Garak shook his head. “I attempted to drink one of your wines once before. It took all my willpower to actually swallow it.”

“Mm, I hope you’re more willing to swallow other things.” Julian teased while taking another sip of Kanar.

“You really are a filthy boy.”

“’Doctor’, ‘lieutenant’, ‘boy’.” Julian shook his head now. “I do have a name, you know.”

“I’m sorry.” Garak nodded. “You really are a filthy Julian.” Julian snickered.

“You’re determined to be difficult, aren’t you?” Julian smiled and leaned in again, this time stopping and simply glancing at Garak’s lips, asking.

“Only when I want to be.” Garak smiled back as he closed the gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot and flirting! Yay! 
> 
> comments and kudos if you enjoy, friends! :D


	8. Retire to Risa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak realizes that there may be more to his relationship with Julian than he thought.

“What are you looking at?” Julian grinned at Garak before pulling his undershirt over his head. Garak had gotten in the habit of staring at Julian dress over the month or so that they’d been seeing each other, but this was the first time Julian questioned him on it.

“You just want to hear me say that I’ve been looking at you.” Garak had a predatory smile on his face. “Well, I won’t give you the satisfaction. I was merely looking at the clothes.”

“Thinking about joining Starfleet to get a uniform of your own?” Julian teased, though it was a good idea to hint at the concept of Garak joining Starfleet.

“Now that’s just insulting.” Garak scoffed. “No, I was simply admiring how the fabric never seems to wrinkle.”

“Always _just_ a tailor, hmm?” Julian finished getting dressed and then climbed back into the bed with Garak.

“You’re going to criticize _me_ bringing work into the bedroom?” Garak rolled his eyes. “You’re the one wearing that dreadful uniform and now trying to worm yourself around me again.” Garak rolled over to make it easier for Julian to wrap his arms around him.

“I’m off shift, but I’m still on call.” Julian explained as he nuzzled his face into Garak’s chest. “Do you really want Commander Sisko to come looking for me if I take too long getting dressed?”

“You’re telling me that you usually sleep _in your uniform_ when you’re on call?” Garak seemed genuinely offended.

“Like you said, it doesn’t wrinkle.” Julian smiled. “And it’s not like I have an ample amount of time to get ready when there’s an emergency.”

“I suppose not.” Garak conceded. “Still, with you looking so professional, I’m feeling rather underdressed.”

“I don’t recall tailors having uniforms.” Julian looked up with a mischievous grin. “Unless you were thinking about dressing for your _other_ profession?”

“There’s no real uniform for gardeners either.” Garak shook his head. “But being naked is hardly appropriate for either job.”

“As long as you don’t wear those tire ponchos.” Garak looked completely lost so Julian explained. “The Cardassian Military uniforms. They’ve always looked like ponchos made out of tires to me.” Julian then squeezed Garak closer and nuzzled his chest again. “I can’t imagine they’re comfortable to cuddle with.”

“I don’t believe the military has any interest in being ‘cuddly’, my dear.” Garak laughed. “Though I imagine I’d be commissioned to make something more suitable if word got out that you enjoy a Cardassian lover.”

“Who would even bother to pursue me if they knew I was already with you?” Julian asked curiously.

“I think that would make you more attractive to some.” Garak dismissed. “I’m sure Gul Dukat would love to claim he’d seduced you away from me.” Julian made a disgusted face. “Though you don’t seem to relish the idea.”

“I don’t want to share a bed with Gul Dukat, no.” Julian shook the image away from his mind. “I take it you two don’t get along then?”

“Minor skirmishes really.” Garak sighed. “Nothing to trouble you over.”

“Do you think he’d actually try anything?” Julian asked intrigued. “Should I be careful?”

“I don’t think he’ll really make an advance on you.” Garak laughed. “And if he were to, you could simply say ‘no’ and let that be the end of it.”

“No, I mean other tactics.” Julian traced a finger slowly down Garak’s arm. “He wouldn’t hurt you, would he?”

“If he could, he absolutely would.” Garak brushed Julian’s hair back. “But I can take care of myself.” He kissed Julian’s forehead. “And I’m hardly about to let him leave any sort of mark on your beautiful body.”

“So you _were_ admiring me earlier.” Julian grinned. “Why don’t you ever say things simply?”

“You approached me in my shop and acted as if I was not worthy to look at you, and yet now you’re happily here cuddling me.” Garak said, rolling his eyes. “I think you’re the one who is sending confusing signals.”

“Did I do it wrong?” Julian said, concerned. “I thought that was how you Cardassians flirt.”

“Yes…” Garak paused. “But you’re telling me that you were aware of that when we first met?” Julian blushed.

“Well, maybe I was.” That was interesting to Garak. He doubted it was something taught in the academy, meaning that Julian had specifically researched how to flirt with Cardassians. “This _is_ where I was hoping we’d end up.”

“I thought you said you’d never met a Cardassian before.” Garak asked.

“No, I hadn’t.” He darted his eyes back and forth and thought. “Let’s just say I’ve heard some things and wanted to try it out.” Garak nodded as if he believed that. This was much more worrying than he’d expected. The young man had been planning to seduce a Cardassian, in fact, it was most likely that he’d been assigned to seduce Garak all along.

                Garak looked at Julian, lying against him in his full uniform, arms wrapped gently around Garak’s torso. His cheeks were ever so slightly flushed, his lips just a bit swollen and his hair soft and messy. He was an absolutely lovely creature and Garak felt he had to applaud Starfleet on their choice of agent. It made sense that such a beautiful person was with Garak simply because he was following orders, but it also complicated matters. This meant Starfleet _wanted_ something out of Garak and, potentially, Julian wouldn’t be as easily relieved of his secrets as Garak had previously thought. Still, somehow, this only made the resting figure all the more alluring.

“And now that you’ve ‘tried me out’ a few times, what do you think?” Garak asked curiously. Julian let a mischievous grin play on his face.

“I’m _very_ pleased, if that’s what you’re asking.” Julian purred before nipping at Garak’s chin ridges. “I wish I could keep you.” Julian sighed remorsefully.

“And why can’t you?” Garak raised an eye ridge. “Not that I think of myself as someone who can be kept.”

“You really see yourself staying with a Starfleet officer?” Julian countered. “I like you a lot, but I sort of assumed you always gave our relationship an expiration date.”

“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.” Garak shrugged. “But we can hardly predict the future.” He then smirked as an idea formed. “Who knows? Perhaps I’ll become a Federation citizen and you and I will retire to Earth or Vulcan or another one of your planets.” Julian’s face lit up in absolute delight. The trap had been set, Julian now believed Garak would ever consider defecting.

“Let’s make it Risa.” Julian sat up excitedly. “You’d love the pleasure planets. Nothing but leisure and love all around! Not to mention it’s very warm on Risa.” He began to wave his hands around emphatically as he started painting a picturesque image of what sort of future they could have together. It would be a brilliant persuasion method if Garak had not already been aware of the game they were playing.

“Anywhere is warm with you, my dear.” Garak smiled as he pulled Julian back down for another kiss. He was sure he could keep this relationship going, get information out of Julian, and keep himself from growing too attached. After all, what could go wrong?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak knows! DUN DUN DUN!!!!
> 
> Hope you guys are still enjoying this because there's a lot more to come. Comments and kudos please~ :D


	9. Bajoran Waiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian and Garak discuss Vash and then Julian is overcome with a unique sensation.

 

“Sorry I’m late.” Julian smiled as he sat down across from Garak in the Repllimat. “Vash was in perfect health, though I can’t understand how or why.”

“That must be rather frustrating.” Garak nodded as he took a sip of his Red Leaf Tea. “A human somehow reached the Gamma Quadrant before the discovery of the wormhole and without Starfleet’s knowledge.”

“She’s absolutely fascinating!” Julian said excitedly. “She’s like a real old style adventurer in her knowledge of history mixed with her daring excavations.” He sighed happily. “Truly, a remarkable woman.”

“Why don’t you seduce her to discover all her secrets?” Garak said while rolling his eyes. Julian then realized his faux pas. It was true that he found Vash attractive, and certainly interesting, but he wasn’t about to pursue her when he was with Garak. Whether he was seeing Garak for a mission or not, he wasn’t about to see someone else unless they had already agreed that was alright.

“Garak, have I offended you?” He asked sincerely. “I wasn’t thinking about flirting with her or anything.”

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t.” Garak waved a dismissive hand. “She obviously interests you and I can assure you that I would not be hurt.”

“Really?” Julian asked confused. Just the other day the man had talked about emigrating to the Federation and retiring to some lovely planet with Julian. Now he was proposing an open relationship? Everything that Julian had researched said that that was very un-Cardassian.

“Certainly.” Garak smiled pleasantly as a Bajoran waiter added a candle to their table. It was a bit unusual as the hour hadn’t grown so late, and the waiter seemed oddly mischievous while performing the task. “Pursue her if you wish and feel free to tell me all about it.” Julian began to contemplate the matter but then was suddenly overcome with lust.

                It was the most bizarre sensation, as if every little movement Garak made was just frustrating Julian more. Julian completely lost his appetite for food as now all he wanted was to get somewhere alone with the man sitting across from him.

“Let’s go to your shop.” Julian stood up before he even got a reply, as he was desperate to get out of such a public place. Luckily, Garak seemed intrigued enough to follow and happily unlocked the door to his store.

“Are you in desperate need of textiles?” Garak chuckled before suddenly being thrown into the back room.

“I’m in desperate need of _you_.” Julian purred as he began stroking Garak’s neck ridges. “Ask me to do anything and I’ll do it.” Julian pressed up against Garak so his hardness could be felt. Garak’s jaw dropped.

“This came on rather suddenly.” He gasped as Julian began stroking harder.

“Oh please.” Julian breathed. “You were just teasing me out there to see what I would do.”

“I’ll admit to that.” Garak panted as Julian started removing his tunic. “But I thought you’d either accept the proposal or ask for a more serious relationship.”

“Consider this me asking.” Julian smirked as he moved his mouth to tongue the ridges now.

“This was not a possibility I anticipated.” Garak moaned out before Julian brought his hand up to the man’s chufa and began stroking tenderly. Garak practically screamed with pleasure. Julian didn’t know how he knew that would work, he just suddenly felt as though he knew exactly where Garak wanted to be touched and how. This was certainly going to be an experience neither one of them forgot.

 

\--

 

Garak was now lying on the floor of his shop’s backroom with a ridiculous smile on his face from being so thoroughly beyond pleasured. Julian was panting next to him on top of a bolt of fabric they’d knocked over sometime between the fifth and eighth time.  Garak tried to catch his breath and understand _what_ had just _happened_.

“That…” he gasped out, “should not have been possible.”

“Thank _God_ it was!” Julian exclaimed with a laugh. “That was incredible!” Julian obviously tried to lift himself up, but collapsed back down on the floor.

“You’ll get no argument from me, my dear.” Garak smiled. “But how did you know so much?”

“Mm,” Julian hummed as he rolled over to lie on Garak’s chest. “That’s my little secret.” The truth was that Julian had no idea how he knew half of the things he’d just done, but he was certainly glad he’d done them. “Also, you wouldn’t happen to have a dermal regenerator back here, would you?” He slowly rubbed Garak’s chest. “Because I look like a Targ’s chew toy.”

“I am sorry about that.” Garak replied sheepishly. Julian chuckled.

“Oh, don’t be!” He grinned. “I enjoy good love bites, I just don’t think the rest of the station needs to know that.”

“I have a first aid kit under my workbench.” Julian lifted his head up to look but then rested back down with a sigh.

“I’m sure I’ll have the energy to go get it in a week or two.”

“Honestly, doctor…” Garak began. “Do humans go into heat? Perhaps you release some sort of stimulating pheromone that allowed me to keep up with you?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, I swear.” Julian said, shaking his head. “That has never happened to me before.”

“I feel like you’re lying to make me feel special.” Garak said suspiciously. “Which, I assure you is unnecessary as nothing could bring down my mood at the moment.”

“I’m serious!” Julian practically giggled. “I can’t promise you that I’ll ever be able to do that again.”

“I’m not sure I’d want you to.” Garak sighed. “I don’t know if I’d survive it.” Garak chuckled. “Though I hope you’ll repeat some actions just taken.”

“You mean like this?” Julian smirked as he brought his hand back to Garak’s chufa. Garak turned his head away.

“Yes, but please, I can’t handle anymore at the moment.” Julian dropped his hand and Garak turned back to face him. “I also didn’t know you spoke Kardasi.”

“I wouldn’t say screaming out a few lines of Iloja Prim counts as _knowing_ Kardasi.” Julian bit his lip. He was even a bit surprised himself to have been quoting Prim while Garak was inside him, and yet, it had certainly made Garak happy. “But I’ll endeavor to learn more for you.”

“I would be happy to help you in your studies.” Garak grinned. A thought passed Garak’s mind. Julian had known more than any human should know about Cardassian anatomy, even better, he’d known more than he should have known about what Garak wanted. It was almost as if Julian could sense every single desire and want Garak had and immediately granted him the satisfaction. In fact, it was like he could read Garak’s mind.

“I should really get up.” Julian groaned as he pushed himself off Garak and sat up. He shook his head and steadied himself for a moment. “Where did you say that med kit was?”

“Under my work bench.” Garak pointed as he too began to rise. He watched as Julian faded bruise after bruise that covered his body and all he could think was: _this is not ordinary_. This beautiful creature knew too much and was too good at seduction. Garak had been trying to test him with his suggestion of pursuing Vash, but this agent seemed to see right through his plan and ravished him instead. Furthermore, Julian always seemed uncomfortable when Garak suggested he wasn’t an ordinary human. Garak felt all the pieces click into place. This man was not a human, he had to be Betazoid.

“Where’s my other boot?” Julian asked as he stood up mostly dressed but barefoot, holding only his left shoe in his hand. Garak stood up. “You were sitting on it.” Julian said, shaking his head with a smile. “Are you trying to keep me from leaving?”

“Trust me, dear,” Garak sighed as he began getting dressed as well. “I don’t have the energy for scheming right now.”

“Then I must have done a very good job indeed.” Julian grinned as he finished putting his shoes on. “I have to run because I’m probably late for my shift, but when do you want to see each other next?” Julian walked over to Garak and kissed him passionately.

“I think tonight I will be resting.” Julian chuckled. “But shall we try to do lunch again tomorrow?”

“I’m supposed to help Lt. Dax with an experiment then.” Julian sighed. “Dinner tomorrow?”

“Quark and I have a meeting to discuss new uniforms for his staff.” Garak shook his head. “The day after that?”

“Sure!” Julian brightened. “Wednesday it is then.” Julian kissed Garak on the cheek before grabbing his comm badge and quickly rushing off. Garak shook his head to try and process everything going on before sending a message to Tain. The young man was certainly a Betazed working for Starfleet Intelligence, now what was Garak going to do about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a picture of the Bajoran waiter btw: https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wze9xjXBpv8/WG_KfluuPII/AAAAAAAAO5Y/5QScNpi4f_gVDpvyJpE7QetGU0KCf_6KgCLcB/s1600/ds9qless.jpg
> 
> Look familiar? ;3


	10. Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems Julian and Garak spent more time in Garak's backroom than they had thought.

“Where have you been?” Dax smirked when she saw Julian’s stupidly happy face.

“I feel like I’ve been on Risa for days.” He grinned. She simply raised an eyebrow and looked like she would laugh. “What? Did I miss something?”

“Probably all those days you felt like you were on Risa.” Julian looked confused so Jadzia continued. “Julian, what day do you think it is?”

“It’s Monday.” He said with a furrowed brow. Jadzia’s eyes widened and she laughed.

“Try Wednesday.”

“Wednesday!?” Julian practically shrieked. “No, that can’t be possible! I…” He started searching his brain for possibilities but was coming up empty.

“I imagine you can blame Q for your confusion.” Dax shook her head.

“Q was here!?” As another laugh was the response he got, Julian simply sighed. “I should go see Commander Sisko.”

“He’ll understand.” She grinned. “Interference from a chaotic God-like entity is a pretty solid excuse for missing a shift.” Julian gave her an unamused look before running off to Ops.

 

\--

 

                Sisko was able to recount everything that Julian had missed while he was in Garak’s back room for apparent days. He was obviously glad the whole thing was over and it was clear Q hadn’t made any fans on the station, though Jadzia had seemed amused by his antics.

“So it was to keep me away from Vash.” Julian shook his head. “I’ll admit that I’m a bit disappointed that I didn’t actually get to _meet_ Q. I wrote an entire paper on the speculative biology of the Continuum in the Academy.”

“You weren’t missing much.” Sisko said through gritted teeth.

“Um, Commander…?” Julian began cautiously. Sisko merely raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t anyone come looking for me? I was away from the infirmary for days.”

“I _did_ try hailing you, doctor.” Sisko sighed. “Though I take it you didn’t hear any of those, I’d be surprised if you did.” Julian shook his head. “And when I asked the computer where you were, well…” Sisko smirked. “The last thing I want to do is interfere with your _mission_.” Julian blushed but then he realized something.

“It must have been Q!” Julian smiled excitedly.

“What must have been Q?”

“The se—“ Julian luckily stopped himself before blurting out the word “sex” in his commanding officer’s office. “The sudden desire to…” That didn’t seem much better so Julian stopped and Sisko simply waved a hand.

“No need to explain, doctor.” Sisko shook his head. “We were honestly far too preoccupied with keeping the station intact than solving all the other mysteries. I’m sure Q is going to have had left a lasting impact on this place.”

“Undoubtedly.” Julian nodded vigorously. “Thank you for explaining everything, sir. I’m sorry that I was so useless during it all.” He sighed. “If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to head to the infirmary and apologize to my nurses for abandoning them all this time.”

“Actually, one more thing, doctor.” Sisko said before standing up. “I had to tell Lt. Dax about your work with Intelligence.” Julian looked surprised.

“Sir?” He asked dumbly. “May I ask why that became necessary?”

“She picked up on my reasoning for not wanting to disturb you.” Sisko shook his head. “And she was about ready to spread the news of your relationship all around the station.” Sisko then smiled slyly. “I ordered her not to, but she needed a good reason to keep quiet. Curzon would happily disobey an order if he didn’t feel it mattered.”

“I see…” Julian mulled over the information and nodded. “Well, sir, no harm done as she is Starfleet.” Then Julian smirked. “Actually, this could be very beneficial.”

“Oh?”

“It’s realistic that I would tell _someone_ about the relationship if it truly mattered to me.” Julian explained. “And, no offense sir, but I wouldn’t come running to you to talk about my forbidden romance.”

“I would hope not.” Sisko laughed. “But yes, I see what you mean. She can be viewed as your confidant.” Sisko then nodded. “In fact, that means she could relay messages to me, which would mean less unexplained visits to Ops and my office. Just make sure to clear it with her first.”

“Yes, sir!” Julian grinned before taking his cue to leave. Once he exited the turbolift on his way to the infirmary, he ran into the woman herself who was grinning from ear to ear.

“How did it go?” That was definitely not the real question she wanted to ask.

“My meeting with Commander Sisko or…” He took Jadzia’s arm and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “sex with Garak?” She giggled with excitement.

“Ben told you I know?” She then raised a perfect eyebrow. “About everything?” Julian nodded. “I will admit it explains a few things.”

“It does?” Julian asked.

“On the shuttle we arrived on,” She grinned, “You kept stealing glances at me and stopping yourself from flirting _too_ much. At first I thought you were trying to keep things professional, but now I see you couldn’t make an advance.”

“Do you wish I had?” Julian asked hopefully. The female Trill was absolutely one of the most beautiful and interesting people he’d ever met. Then again, so was the Major. Julian had thought about how if he weren’t here to seduce Garak, he’d probably have been sleeping with half the station already there were so many attractive people.

“It could’ve been fun.” Jadzia shrugged with a grin. “But obviously impossible.”

“I’m afraid I’m unobtainable at the moment.” Julian rolled his shoulders back and smiled. He liked the idea of being viewed as just slightly out of Jadzia’s reach. Maybe then she’d find him more attractive and they could eventually have something when his mission was over. It was odd to be thinking about future partners while he was in a relationship, but Julian doubted his thing with Garak would really last once he discovered he was an agent all along.

“A tragedy.” Jadzia shook her head with a smirk.

“I actually have a request of you, Lieutenant.” Jadzia raised her brow again at being called her rank. “Would you mind playing the part of confidant?” Her smile threatened to split her face open. “You could then relay my more interesting confessions to Commander Sisko?”

“Your secrets are safe with me!” She exclaimed while putting a finger to her lips. “But I am going to request more than, ‘just the facts, ma’am’.” Julian could tell she was referencing something, but he had no idea what so he decided to just smile and nod.

“I’ll give you as many details as you like.” He said. “In fact, I’m free for dinner toni—“ He stopped and groaned. “Wait, you said it was Wednesday…”

“I did.” She nodded.

“I have to find Garak.” He shook his head. “See if he and I are still on for tonight.” She giggled as she waved him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q: "The doctor's boyfriend is giving him permission to make the moves on Vash? It seems it's time to get them far too distracted in one another to do anything about it."
> 
> This fic is so ridiculous, what am I doing? XD


	11. Saurian Brandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak learns of Q's involvement and confronts Julian on his supposed flirtations with Dax.

 

                Garak had managed to eat something quickly and fix up his backroom just before Julian returned.

“Back again so soon, doctor?” He was only grateful that he hadn’t come in a bit earlier when he was finishing sending his report to Tain.

“So I’ve learnt that today _is_ Wednesday.” Julian sighed. Garak blinked as he registered what that meant.

“You’re joking.” He said, narrowing his eyes.

“I wish I were!” Julian laughed while shaking his head. “I mean, we _did_ spend an awful lot of time back there…” Julian blushed. “And it’s all a blur, so…”

“Computer, what day of the week is it?” Garak asked.

“ _Today is Wednesday according to the Federation calendar. Starda—“_

 _“_ End report.” Garak said quickly, fearing that the Stardate would reveal that it was Wednesday of the next week. “You’re telling me that we spent over a _day_ together?”

“I suppose you’re sick of seeing me then.” Julian said with a small smile. “There was an entity named Q that came to the station. He’s incredibly powerful and often makes all sorts of strange things happen. I guess he decided we needed to, um…” Julian made some vague motion with his hands. Garak crossed his arms skeptically.

“You’re telling me that an alien is responsible for your sudden lust?” Julian bit his lip and walked up to Garak.

“Well,” He looked at Garak through his lashes, “ _you_ are an alien to me and you are certainly partly responsible.” Garak found himself being kissed with Julian’s arms going around his neck. He granted Julian’s tongue access to his mouth, surprised by how slow and sensuous the kiss was. “So are we still on for tonight?” Julian grinned hopefully.

“You make a compelling argument.” Garak sighed before initiating a kiss of his own.

“I can make an even better one later.” Julian murmured in his ear. Garak marveled at this brilliant Betazoid agent. Surely he was the most seductive creature in the entire Universe, and somehow the Federation saw fit to send him to Garak. As dangerous a game as it was, Garak couldn’t help but be grateful to be the beneficiary of Julian’s charms.

“As tempting an offer that is, my dear.” Garak sighed before pulling away. “I’m not as young as I used to be and you have certainly exhausted me.” He shook his head. “Not to mention, I’m going to have to reschedule my meeting with Quark.”

“Fair enough.” Julian shrugged. “Are you free tomorrow?”

“We shall see.” Garak nodded and Julian frowned.

“Fine, be mysterious.” Julian said, rolling his eyes. “But feel free to break into my quarters if you find yourself in the mood later.” He purred before leaving the shop. Oh yes, this Julian Bashir was clearly well trained.

 

\--

 

                Garak hadn’t actually been planning to break into Julian’s quarters that night, but there he was, overriding the keypad. When he visited Quark, the Ferengi was actually apologizing to _him_ for completely forgetting about their meeting as he was apparently distracted by the lovely Vash and her even more lovely rare merchandise. Garak played it off as if he had been a bit miffed, but that he was willing to forgive Quark. It was always good to keep others feeling guilty instead of making himself look indebted. It was while they discussed designs that Quark mentioned something _very_ interesting.

“You’ve been spending time with the doctor.” Quark had begun, to which Garak had simply nodded. “How many free drinks do you think it would take to loosen his tongue?”

“Seeing how you can’t charge Starfleet staff in exchange for your lease, I don’t think the concept of ‘free’ will be that alluring to him.” Garak had to play it all off as if he wasn’t dying to know what Quark was about to tell him.

“Mm, true.” The pause had felt longer than it actually was. “One Warp Core Breach, I think.”

“Why does the doctor’s tongue need loosening?”

“Lt. Dax is having dinner with him.” Quark had licked his teeth in the most revolting way. “I saw him flirting with her earlier, it must have worked. I’d love to know what she’s like, not to mention how to get her to come back to my quarters at some point.” Garak had tried his best to not snap the neck of the messenger.

“If you saw him flirting with her, then obviously you already observed what tactics work.” Garak was absolutely disgusted that this agent that had seemed so clever, _his_ agent, would throw away all of his careful planning and clear training just to sleep with that Trill woman. And yet, there was a part of Garak that felt it was only right, even a fake relationship was too good to be true and he could see that Jadzia Dax was an outstanding creature.

“I saw,” Quark had shaken his head in disappointment. “But I didn’t _hear._ Even these lobes can’t pick up everything on the promenade. Especially when I’m tending the bar while I watch.”

                The meeting had ended rather abruptly after that, Garak was far too annoyed to continue talking about fabrics and pricing. And now Garak was outside the door to Dr. Julian Bashir’s quarters, expecting to catch the man in bed with the lovely Lt. Dax, only to have the door slide open on its own and see the woman standing there ready to leave.

“Julian!” She grinned. “Speak of the devil and the devil will come!” Jadzia practically dragged Garak inside and essentially threw him at Julian who excitedly took his hands.

“Speak of the sun and you’ll see its rays!” Federation idioms could be annoyingly positive. “You changed your mind about tonight!” Julian announced happily before planting a sloppy kiss on Garak’s mouth. The young man tasted of alcohol. Garak quickly pulled away and turned to see Lt. Dax’s reaction. Her eyes were widened, but the grin was still there. “Oh, don’t worry, Jadzia knows.” The at _least_ tipsy Starfleet doctor proudly said before snaking an arm around Garak’s back.

“Is that wise?” Garak blinked in surprise. This was not what he had expected to walk into. “In all due respect, my dear, I don’t think it’s advisable we make our involvement public knowledge.”

“Your secret is safe with me!” Jadzia practically sang out. “In fact, I didn’t see anything.” She covered her eyes with a hand before moving her fingers so she could sneak a peek through the crack. Garak deduced that she had also had a lot to drink. “Now, I believe I was going to turn in for the night.” She dropped her hand and raised a suggestive eyebrow. “You boys don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She smirked before turning to leave.

“That leaves us with plenty of options.” Julian laughed as he gave Garak a light smack on the rear. “Goodnight, Jadzia!”

“Goodnight.” She winked and then she was gone.

“So…” Julian said in an overly obvious attempt at a seductive voice. “What brings you here?” He grinned as he started to remove Garak’s tunic. Garak stopped him.

“I came to see what Lt. Dax was doing in your quarters at this hour.” Garak pushed Julian’s hands away and took a step back. Julian looked shocked.

“You thought that she and I were…?” The man was _pouting_ and somehow it was an attractive look on him. “Elim, first Vash, now Jadzia?” Julian shook his head. “I’m hurt.”

“I clearly was given some misinformation from Quark.” Garak held his hands up in defense. “He claimed you two had been flirting and now she was in your quarters. It was a simple mistake.” Julian’s face then split into a grin.

“You were jealous!” He practically giggled. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“And you’re drunk.” Garak shook his head in disapproval. “Obviously very much so to tell one of your commanding officers about our relationship.”

“She asked me about it.” Julian waved a dismissive hand. “She started pushing me to pursue it. Something about Curzon feeling that there was nothing like a forbidden fling to start off a Starfleet posting.” Julian shrugged. “So I figured I might as well just tell her that we’d already started. She wanted to hear all the details and…” He motioned to the empty bottles of Saurian Brandy. “I didn’t tell her _too_ much. But I did say that you’re fantastic in bed.” Julian bit his lip with a shy grin.

                Garak had to reassess the situation. Bashir was acting like a teenager in love the way he brazenly was drinking and confessing his feelings to his best friend. His over excitement to see Garak when he arrived, these were all things only Tain could possibly fake while being drunk. He simply watched Julian remove his jacket and let it drop to the floor in awe.

“How much have you had to drink?” Garak said carefully.

“Two bottles.” Julian grinned with pride like it was a great accomplishment to be absolutely plastered. “Jadzia could only finish the one, but I beat her!” He laughed. Two whole bottles of Saurian brandy would have a Human or Betazoid in this ridiculous state, and Garak could tell by the man’s eyes that he wasn’t lying. Did this mean that he actually cared about Garak? There was simply no way that he could deceive this well while drunk. Even if he was a brilliant agent, he was only in his twenties and therefore could only have been trained for so long.

“Doctor…” Garak said cautiously. “What do you want out of this relationship? Honestly, I think it best we get on the same page now so I don’t keep misunderstanding your commitment level.”

“I don’t want ‘out’ of this relationship.” Julian shook his head. “I want _in_ it.” He smiled at his own play on words.

“Meaning?”

“I like you a lot, Elim.” Julian took off his undershirt now, leaving his beautiful bare chest to tempt Garak. “And I want to talk to you about your day and share meals and have sex and read books and just be with you.” He bit his lip before leaning himself into Garak’s chest. “Part of me wants to just run away together, but I guess that’s a little fast.” He chuckled. “Maybe after a year of being together we can change our names and identities and go off to be romantic fugitives of both the Federation and Cardassia.” He blushed, “Though just going to Risa would be easier.” He leaned his head on Garak’s shoulder ridge and sighed. “I’m warm.”

“Yes you are.” Garak said dumbly, but what else was he supposed to say? What he thought was a Betazoid agent turned out to be a human doctor prone to overly romantic ideas! Now he had this beautiful person in his arms and was in a relationship with him, but he’d gotten no closer to finding the information Tain wanted. If he wasn’t working for Intelligence and he wasn’t a Betazoid, what was this young man’s secret? Was it that he was an absolute fool who cheated his way through Starfleet Medical? Wanting a romance with Garak was certainly foolish of him, so that had more evidence than anything else. “Has that Q left the station?” Garak said suspiciously. What if this was all just more of that unlikely entity’s games?

“Mm-hmm.” Julian sighed before chuckling. “Commander Sisko punched him in the face.”

“That would do it.” Garak found himself stroking the young man’s hair and smiling. “You really need to get to bed.” Julian lifted his head with a smirk.

“I’m happy to go there if you’re going.” He tried to kiss Garak again, but Garak turned his head away.

“I’m willing to _sleep_ in the same bed as you.” Garak laughed slightly. “But that’s all that we’re doing when you’re like this.”

“Hmph!” Julian was pouting again as he stumbled his way toward the bedroom, dragging Garak by the hand. “Fine, but I’m waking you up first thing in the morning for sex.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the quadrant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak takes one step forward and two steps back in this one! There's gonna be a lot of "is he, isn't he?" in this fic because honestly? They're both brilliant and they're going to run each other in circles. But they're very fun circles ;3


	12. Couldn't Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian has to act hungover to keep up the charade and Garak tells him something incredible.

Julian had been extremely worried when Garak appeared in his quarters. If the Cardassian had shown up just a bit later, then Jadzia would have already left and Julian wouldn’t have had to continue to play drunk. Yes, two bottles of Saurian brandy had him feeling tipsy, but his enhanced metabolism meant that it would take quite a bit more than that to really get him drunk. Julian had been thinking that _maybe_ if he played drunk with Jadzia, he’d be able to get a kiss or something guilt free! He’d make sure they didn’t sleep together, that would be too dangerous for his mission, but he could at least test the waters to see if she would ever think of him that way.

                Nothing had happened, in fact, all of his “drunken” flirtations were laughed at by an actually drunk Dax who said he was wasting his time. Still, it had been a nice night, talking about how good the sex was between him and Garak and relaying the incredibly intimate details of their time in the tailor’s backroom. But Julian didn’t want to risk his drunken act in front of a possible _spy_! That really had not been the plan.

                As far as Julian was aware, Garak had fallen for the performance, so he could rest easy in that sense. What was more interesting was the fact that Garak seemed to be jealous of the idea of Julian and Jadzia together. Using that to his advantage, Julian casually said how much he liked Garak and teased the idea of them running off to Risa together again. Garak had seemed baffled but ultimately moved. Julian honestly enjoyed how incredibly cuddly he was able to act before going to sleep against that cool, scaled, skin.

                Now that Julian was awake and looking at Garak sleeping next to him, he rather regretted that he wouldn’t be able to make good on his promise of morning sex. Instead, he let out a loud groan as he sat up, causing Garak’s eyes to quickly open.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Garak asked, watching Julian stroke his temples.

“Remind me to only drink synthale from now on.” He said, shaking his head. “You’d think I’d know better.”

“You were really quite adorable while so free of your inhibitions.” Garak smiled before sitting up as well.

“We didn’t do anything last night, did we?” Julian said carefully, pretending he wasn’t quite sure. “I remember you coming in and us talking…” He looked in thought. “I also remember pulling you into the bedroom with me, but not much else after that.”

“There wasn’t much else after that.” Garak assured. “We simply slept, that’s all.” Julian let out an awkward laugh.

“Well, that’s good.” He then widened his eyes in concern. “Not that I don’t enjoy having sex with you!”

“I quite understand, doctor.” Garak said, lifting up a hand. “After all, you made it quite clear how you feel about me last night.”

“I got a little sappy, didn’t I?” Julian blushed. “I’m sorry if my feelings for you make this… uncomfortable.” He sighed. “I guess I should have kept myself in check, but here I am making this about more than sex…” He lifted his head up and looked at the ceiling. Julian was fishing for Garak to make some commitment in return, that way he could begin to push more in their relationship. It was difficult to assert change in the other person if the arrangement is only for physical pleasure.

“Well then that makes two of us.” Garak took Julian’s hand and lifted it to his lips. This was going exactly how Julian had hoped! “I love you.” Julian froze. That was not what he’d expected. Yes, he wanted and needed Garak to develop feelings for him, how else could he get information out of him? But _love_? He kept scanning Garak’s face in the tense silence. Eventually, Garak sighed. “It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way, I quite understand.”

“No, no, that’s not exactly…” Julian let his sentence drift off as he tried to process everything. “I’m sorry, just…” He found a guilty smile playing on his lips. “Can you say that again?”

“I love you, Julian Bashir.” Garak smiled. Julian found himself on top of Garak and kissing him in an instant. Garak was in _love_ with him! A brilliant, attractive, and fascinating man was in love with Julian! Julian had been afraid that after Palis, he’d never find love again, and yet he somehow found it in this incredible person. The mission melted away, in this moment Julian truly only did view himself as someone who was Garak’s lover. That was, until Garak pulled away. “I don’t think that’s wise, what with your hangover.” Right. He’d been pretending to be drunk last night. Why? Because he was lying to Garak from the very beginning.

“You’re right.” Julian sighed, feeling truly nauseous due to guilt. “Just, give me a second.” He got off the bed and headed for the replicator. He was about to ask for a hangover cure, but it wouldn’t do to use one when he wasn’t actually hungover. “Bashir Formula C-6” That was just a caffeine shot, but Garak hardly knew that. Julian released the hypospray into his neck and immediately felt a burst of energy. “Want me to get you anything?”

“Red Leaf Tea, if possible.” Garak called from the bedroom.

“Red Leaf Tea, hot.” He commanded before bringing the replicated beverage to Garak.

“You make your own hangover cures?” Garak smirked as he blew on his tea to cool it down.

“One of my professors at Starfleet Medical actually assigned that as our first experiment when we were freshmen.” Julian chuckled. “He said that this way we’d have no excuses to miss his lectures.”

“Surely he could simply penalize poor attendance.” Garak scoffed.

“Attendance isn’t taken for lectures, only labs and smaller classes.” Julian shook his head. “I think he just knew that we’d all be highly motivated to alleviate our own hangover symptoms.”

“Did you enjoy your time in Medical school?” Garak asked before taking a sip of his tea.

“I loved it!” Julian smiled. “Being a doctor is everything I could ever want.”

“Did you always want to be in Starfleet as well?” Julian found himself frozen again. He’d been willing to give it all up to stay in Paris with his then love. If her father hadn’t been dealing with the Orion Syndicate, he’d be there now.

“Sure.” He said with a simple smile. This was not territory he wanted to enter. He did love Starfleet, and mostly he just wanted to help people but he really wanted a home more than anything. Garak looked curious but didn’t press the issue. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Garak smiled innocently before drinking more tea.

“Oh, come on, Elim.” Julian rolled his eyes as he got back into bed. “At least tell me why you’re a tailor if you won’t tell me what your _real_ job is.”

“Why does anyone work?” Garak asked instead of answering what should have been a simple question. Julian shrugged.

“Depends on the person.”

“I suppose in the Federation.” Garak thought. “No, for the rest of us, it’s to pay bills.” Julian frowned.

“Alright…” He paused. “Then why are you a tailor on the station instead of Cardassia Prime or other Cardassian territory?”

“This used to be Cardassian territory.”

“The rest of your species didn’t seem to have a problem leaving.” Julian countered. “What makes me so lucky as to have you here?” Garak was quiet for a long moment, simply looking into Julian’s eyes before eventually staring at his tea sadly.

“Exile.” He said simply. Julian’s eyes widened as he registered what had just been said. This man could never go home. While Julian had never really felt he’d had a home and was always trying to find one, Garak had his taken away from him.

“Elim, I’m so sorry.” Julian breathed. This also meant that Garak was certainly not working with the Cardassian government, he was no longer accepted by them. It’s possible he had even done something that would cast him in the Federation’s favor, though it could also have been a simple matter of pissing off the wrong person. Still, Julian felt this meant Garak was definitely not a spy. “I didn’t know.”

“How could you have?” Garak sighed. “It’s not something I’m proud of.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“I doubt your professors had you develop a hypospray that could alleviate this kind of suffering.” Garak smirked.

“Would a blowjob help?” Julian said shyly while he bit his lip. Garak nearly choked on his tea. “I mean, it couldn’t hurt, right?”

“It most certainly _could_ if you’re feeling particularly malicious.” Garak said as he composed himself. Julian laughed.

“Why would I do anything to hurt you?” Julian smiled as he put a gentle hand through Garak’s hair.

“I have many enemies.” Garak said.

“True, but I’m different.” Julian grinned as he leaned in closer.

“Oh?” Garak smirked. “In what way?”

“I love you too.” Julian felt a stab in his stomach due to guilt again, not for lying, he felt guilty because it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ruh-roh, Julian~
> 
> Hope you guys are all still enjoying this as much as I am! :D


	13. Kiss it Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak revels in Julian's love and then realizes he needs to correct the information he sent Tain.

                Garak felt as if every one of his scales was humming in satisfaction. Julian had finished taking care of him but was now insistent that Garak roll onto his stomach so he could get a proper back massage. Garak wondered if all doctors were this wonderful in bed or if it was just Julian. Maybe being trained by Orion slave girls to be the perfect lover was Bashir’s secret?

“Good posture is one thing, but it’s alright to relax your back _some_ of the time.” Julian chuckled as he worked on a knot.

“If some tension results in this kind of treatment, I have no intention of ever relaxing.” Garak smiled as the fingers worked slowly and warmed his muscles. “You’re spoiling me.”

“I’m spoiling myself.” Julian smiled before leaning down to whisper in Garak’s ear. “I love you.” He hummed, clearly very happy with their latest confessions. Garak couldn’t fathom _why_ this young man was excited to have earned the love of a Cardassian exile, but the lie had been an excellent way to move their seduction forward.

                It seemed Julian Bashir did not always want to be in Starfleet. He hadn’t admitted to that, but it was plain to see on his face when Garak had asked. That wasn’t particularly unusual, plenty of people ended up in jobs they didn’t intend to enter into, but his fearfulness of the topic was interesting.

“What would Starfleet have to think of _that_ , I wonder?” Garak mused absently, fishing for more of a reaction. Julian sighed.

“They’ll probably lecture me on fraternization with the enemy.” Garak chuckled at his being called “the enemy,” it was apt, but Julian didn’t know that. “Not to mention I’ll probably be called a young and naïve fool.”

“In all fairness, you are all of those things.” Julian suddenly pinched Garak roughly. “Ow!”

“I’m twenty-seven and I was salutatorian of my class at Starfleet Medical.” Julian huffed before returning to his more comforting ministrations. “So ‘young, naïve, fool’ doesn’t really fit.”

“Twenty-seven is still very young, my dear.” Garak pointed out as Julian got off him. “And just because you’re a brilliant doctor doesn’t mean you aren’t naïve.” Garak rolled onto his side so he could look at Julian who was pouting. “I’m not criticizing you, merely correcting.”

“It feels like criticism.” Julian scoffed. “But I appreciate you calling me a brilliant doctor.”

“It’s not a compliment, just a fact.” Garak smiled. He figured it was time to reinforce his lie. “I’m in love with a brilliant, young doctor.” Julian grinned into a kiss. “Who just so happens to be naïve enough to be in love with me.” Julian gave him a small push.

“It’s not naïve to fall in love with an attractive, clever, and charming person!” Julian insisted.

“It is when that person is also a Cardassian exile.” Garak reminded.

“I know what that entails, so it’s not exactly _naïve_ …” Julian furrowed his brow, “reckless maybe?”

“Short-sighted?” Garak teased.

“Elim, you are incorrigible.” Julian shook his head with a small smile. “Is that why you have enemies?”

“I imagine I’ll have more enemies now that all your secret admirers can’t have you.” Julian rolled his eyes.

“Right, so you’re trying to tell me _that’s_ why you said Gul Dukat would try and hurt you?” Julian laughed.

“Gul Dukat is also responsible for hurting countless Bajorans he’s never even set eyes on.” Garak shook his head. “You’re assuming I have to have actually done something to earn his ire.”

“Maybe I’ll just ask him next time he’s on the station?” Julian smirked. “Excuse me, Gul, do you have a moment? I’m just wondering why you don’t like Elim Garak? Perhaps you should get to know him? He’s excellent at shoulder massages, not to mention exquisite in bed.”

“Please do bring this up to him in front of Commander Sisko.” Garak laughed. “In fact, make sure I’m in the room as well. I’d like to see both of their faces.”

“Don’t worry.” Julian shook his head. “If I ever do that, I’ll make sure you’re included in the audience to my court-martial.” He joked before stroking Garak’s cheek with a fond smile. “I have to get up and head to work.”

“A tragedy.”

“Mm,” Julian nodded. “When will I be able to see you next?”

“Assuming that this is Thursday and we didn’t suffer from another temporal sort of anomaly…” Garak thought. “And seeing how I need to begin work on Quark’s commissions…” Julian sighed, obviously not liking where this was going. “We could probably do lunch in a few days?”

“I suppose that will have to do.” Julian gave a more dramatic sigh this time before giving Garak a long, slow, and truly wonderful kiss. “But if you can manage to end up in the infirmary while I’m on duty, I’d appreciate it.” Julian said as he got up and began picking up his uniform pieces.

“You’re recommending that I get myself injured?” Garak smiled, with the wire, that was actually a pleasant concept.

“Not severely.” Julian smirked while getting dressed. “Just something where I’ll need to kiss it better.” Garak looked confused.

“I doubt that’s standard medical procedure.” He then thought for a moment. “Unless human saliva has some healing properties?” Julian started laughing.

“It’s just a saying, Elim!” He smiled as he put his shoes on. “Often with children, once their parent finishes using the dermal regenerator on a simple scrape, they’ll kiss the spot that had been hurt to add a sort of compassionate finality to the procedure.”

“I’m hardly a child, doctor.” Garak said, rolling his eyes.

“True, but you certainly deserve all the compassion I have to give.” Julian leaned over the bed and gave Garak another kiss. “I hope to see you soon.” He smiled.

“Until then, doctor.” Garak nodded and Julian happily sauntered out the door. Garak sighed once he was alone in Juian’s quarters. This had to be the most pleasant mission he had ever been assigned. He got to have a passionate relationship with someone he already found incredibly attractive. The more time he spent with Julian, the more he liked about him. He was good at wordplay and debate, adorably innocent while remaining brilliant, and his flirtations were nearly irresistible. Not to mention the young man seemed to touch Garak in just the right ways and make him almost forget how dismal his exile was.

                Garak then was up immediately as he had a startling thought. The last message he’d sent to Tain claimed Julian Bashir was a Betazoid agent from Starfleet Intelligence. Now Garak knew that couldn’t possibly be right. What was he supposed to do? Admit his mistake and seem to be a complete fool in Tain’s eyes or play along as if nothing had changed? Garak had to get back to his shop to see if a reply had been made. If he was given new instructions, they might help Garak understand which action he should take.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, my dudes! What up, brahs???
> 
> ...I didn't know what to put in the notes and I panicked and a weird surfer guy came out... Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this gay shit. XD


	14. Compromised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian confesses to Jadzia how he feels about Garak and Garak realizes his own feelings.

 

                Julian essentially rushed to Dax’s quarters once he was off-shift. He needed to talk to someone about this and there were only two people other than Garak who knew about his relationship, but telling Commander Sisko he was in _love_ with Garak? Out of the question.

“Julian!” She greeted happily before stepping aside so he could enter. “What is it you need to talk about?”

“As if you don’t know.” Julian sighed.

“You were he one who insisted on Saurian Brandy.” She smirked and then motioned for him to sit. “You didn’t reveal anything to Garak, did you?” She suddenly looked worried. “I shouldn’t have left you alone with him in that state, I was pretty far gone myself and…” She stopped explaining when she saw Julian shaking his head.

“No, no, I didn’t let anything slip.” He groaned before putting a hand to his head. “Except that I told him I love him.”

“And now he’s pulling away.” Jadzia frowned. “You can still salvage your mission. Explain that you were drunk and maybe that will be enough for him to forget about it.”

“He’s not ‘pulling away’ and I wasn’t drunk.” He gave her a guilty smile. “I mean, I wasn’t drunk when I said it.” He hurriedly added. “It was this morning. He said it first.” She bit her lip and gave him a sympathetic look.

“That can’t feel good to lie about.” She put a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “If you want out of this mission, all you have to do is say so.”

“Jadzia…” Julian looked her directly in the eye despite how much he didn’t want to. “It _wasn’t_ a lie.”

“Julian.” Her tone changed immediately to firm and strong. “What you’re feeling isn’t love. Lust, maybe. You said you enjoy having sex with him, but you’re not in love with him.”

“I know, I know,” Julian sighed, “now you’re going to tell me how plenty of operatives lose themselves in their cover stories, some even defect, only to realize they can’t live a lie forever.” Julian’s heart sank, he had no choice but to live a lie forever. “But this feels _real_.”

“You told me about Palis last night, Julian.” Jadzia said softly. “You were ready to be married and settle down and then it all suddenly got taken away.” Julian looked away, knowing where this was going. “When he told you he loved you, I’m sure it made you feel like you had a piece of that back.”

“It did…” Julian conceded sadly.

“You’re in love with the idea of someone being in love with you.” She gave him a small smile that waited there until Julian finally glanced at her again. “There’s no shame in that, but you have to keep thinking straight.” Julian sighed and gave a small nod. He wasn’t quite convinced she was right, but he knew she wasn’t going to begin thinking otherwise. She was still Starfleet, and it didn’t matter how many secret missions he was assigned, he was still viewed as a child on the station.

“Maybe I just think this will all be easier if I view it as a normal relationship.” He gave a small smile, pretending to be comforted by what she’d said.

“Then let’s treat it like one.” She smiled. “Tell me about Garak. Not just what you want me to pass on.” Her smiled turned into a mischievous grin. “What do you like about him?” Julian smirked, this was actually a good idea.

“Well, first off: his full name is Elim Garak.” Jadzia raised an eyebrow and picked up her PADD, making note of the information. “And there are noises he makes when I touch that spoon shaped scale that you would not believe.”

 

\--

 

                Garak didn’t know why he was surprised to see nothing on his console. Tain had only broken his silence once since Garak’s exile and that was to assign this mission in the first place. However, Tain could still be doing something with that incorrect information even if he wasn’t responding. He could even arrange for Julian to be killed, and Garak didn’t want that. Julian was the first thing to make his life on the station nice. He racked his brain, trying to figure out a way out of the mess he’d gotten himself into and then he smiled.

“Entity named ‘Q’ interfered in investigation. Disregard last message. Dr. Julian Bashir is definitely _not_ working for Starfleet Intelligence.” Garak’s new message began. Mentioning this “Q” was a good way to avoid blame, as he seemed infamous. He thought about adding that Julian was now in love with Garak, but that oddly felt too personal to share. “Young man is hiding something, does not consider himself a ‘normal human’ and did not always want to be in Starfleet. Could be persuaded to leak information to Cardassia.” It was a lofty goal, but Garak had already earned the doctor’s love and seen how to get him drunk, how hard could it be to coax Federation secrets out of him?

                Garak sent the message off, feeling pleased with it and actually feeling like an agent again. Of course, that was before his eyes glanced back to the designs for Quark that he needed to work on. He groaned internally as he resigned himself to a couple of days’ work as a tailor instead of wrapped in that charming human’s warm embrace and working for the Cardassia he loved.

“Elim?” Dr. Bashir entered practically right on cue. “I don’t have a lot of time, but I was wondering if I could talk to you?” He looked tense and nervous. This couldn’t be good.

“Of course, my dear.” He smiled, as if he wasn’t terrified as to where this was going.

“I haven’t told you about my fiancé…” Julian began awkwardly. Garak’s eyes widened in shock at the concept of what he was being said. Julian seemed to notice because he then hurriedly corrected, “my _ex_ -fiancé!”

“Ah,” Garak nodded. At least there wasn’t an infidelity aspect to all of this. That would be another complication Garak could do without. “No, you have not.”

“I was going to marry Palis Deon.” He had a small, sad smile. “She was a ballet dancer. Quite good, by the way.”

“I’m sure.” Garak said coldly. Seeing Julian show some sort of fondness for an ex-lover, even if it was only residual, somehow made Garak’s blood boil.

“It’s just that…” Julian looked up at the ceiling, clearly he had not prepared whatever it was that he wanted to say. “I was going to leave Starfleet. Live in Paris. On Earth.” He ran his hand through his hair. “But it all fell apart and suddenly I’m orbiting Bajor and still wearing this uniform.”

“ _Why_ are you telling me this?” It was getting dangerously close to sounding like Julian regretted being on the station, while Garak could agree with that, he hardly wanted Julian to consider leaving.

“I just don’t want to hurt you.” Julian sighed. “I meant it when I said that I love you. I just know that I recently got out of a relationship and…” He grabbed helplessly at the air as if the words were somehow floating in front of him, before finally exhaling in defeat and slumping his shoulders. “I guess I’m trying to say that I don’t know what I’m doing.” Garak smiled.

“Are you worried that I’m going to be horrified if I ever see your imperfections?” He chuckled, seeing how the young man cared.

“I could make a mistake.” Julian shrugged, clearly a little comforted by Garak’s positive reaction. “Get cold feet one day and try and take everything back, I don’t know.” He shook his head. “What I _do_ know is that I felt like I was lying as long as I didn’t tell you about Palis.”

“Then I appreciate you telling me about her.” Garak nodded, feeling he understood where this was all coming from. “You say you meant it when you said you love me,” Julian nodded, “then that’s all that matters.” Julian’s face lit up with a bright smile as Garak walked over to him and took his hand. “I love you.” Garak sighed. For a moment, just one moment, he forgot he was on a mission. He’d said those three words with feeling and conviction. He _meant_ them. He lifted Julian’s fingers to his lips and kissed them lightly. “I love you, Julian Bashir.” He repeated. It was partially so he could taste the sentiment in his mouth again. It was sweet and wonderful, but so quickly it grew bitter when Garak feared what this could mean. He was compromised in the most beautiful and pleasurable way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about posting so late! Was doing other stuff tonight (when did I get a social life???) and didn't have a chance until now. Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos, please~


	15. Methods of Persuasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian updates Sloan after the events in "The Passenger" and Garak comes to Julian's quarters.

“And you’re sure that Vantika is really dead this time?” Sloan asked over the secure channel.

“I assure you, Admiral,” Julian sighed, “the only person inside my head is me.” He kept himself from shivering. The whole experience of not having control of his own body had been haunting.

“I don’t like it, doctor.” Sloan said, shaking his head. “He must have learned your real mission while he stayed dormant within you.”

“We never communicated during that time.” Julian said. “And, when I make reports on Garak, it’s in the style of regular gossip with Lt. Dax.”

“Yes, as your last report explained.” Sloan gritted his teeth as he held up a PADD that presumably had Julian’s last report on it. “It’s not good to have so many officers involved. More likely that they’ll blow the whole thing.”

“Sir, it was absolutely necessary to tell them.” A white lie, Julian didn’t feel bad about it. “Furthermore, this allows the operation to go more efficiently. I can only report to you personally when you choose to contact me,” Admiral Sloan made sure he was difficult to get a hold of, “whereas I can report to Lt. Dax immediately, allowing Commander Sisko to pass the information on to Starfleet Intelligence.”

“Just don’t let anyone else know.” Sloan warned. “Especially non-Starfleet personnel.”

“Sir, I would nev—” Julian’s enhanced hearing picked up the sound of someone at his door’s keypad. Whoever it was didn’t simply press the door chime, meaning they were attempting to break in. “Admiral, someone is trying to break into my quarters.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Julian nodded, thinking. “It’s most likely Garak.”

“If it is, update me within the next twenty-six hours.” Sloan nodded. “If I don’t hear from you by then, I will proceed accordingly.”

“Yes, sir.” Julian said as the screen went black. He quickly grabbed a PADD and sat on the couch as if he wasn’t expecting anything. He kept up the unassuming appearance as his door slid open. “Elim!” He smiled at the man who entered.

“I heard what happened.” Garak said with concern as he sat next to Julian. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been better.” Julian sighed. “But I’m fine.” Garak placed his hand on Julian’s cheek and Julian let his eyes close as he leaned into the touch.

“I should have realized something was wrong.” Garak frowned. Julian smiled.

“ _I_ didn’t even realize something was wrong.” He chuckled. “And besides, it all worked out in the end.”

“That is a terrifyingly positive attitude.” Garak shook his head. “You should really be more cynical.”

“Alright…” Julian smirked as he opened his eyes. “How _should_ I feel?”

“Angry.” Garak said. Julian crossed his arms in mock rage, causing Garak to chuckle. “Is this a game now?”

“I’m in no mood for games!” Julian said as he stood up, continuing the charade. “Can’t you tell that I’m positively _livid_?”

“You have every right to be.” Garak smiled. “You were violated.”

“You realize that he watched my every move?” Julian pointed out. “Even this one.” He moved to straddle Garak and then kissed him deeply.

“Mm,” Garak sighed. “I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did.”

“How couldn’t he?” Julian scoffed. “We’re essentially experts at making love!” Julian blushed a bit at using the more intimate term instead of dispassionately saying “having sex.”

“You’ll get no argument from me.” Garak smiled. Julian huffed as if he were still upset.

“You realize how much pleasure we gave that _criminal_?” Julian scrunched up his nose in disgust. “When he was in my head we had one of our best nights!”

“I’m sure he was grateful.” Garak smirked. “It _was_ one of his last experiences before he met his end.”

“True.” Julian sighed. “But it feels cheapened knowing we shared it with him.” Julian moved his finger to lightly feather Garak’s chufa. Garak shuddered and inhaled deeply. “I guess we’ll just have to top it so we can keep our best night all to ourselves.” Garak made a small whine and clutched Julian’s back tightly when Julian began to rub his chufa more deeply. “But it may take multiple tries.” Garak gasped when Julian bit the third scale down on his neck ridge.

“Wait!” Garak shouted, causing Julian to stop abruptly. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” He panted as Julian simply looked at him in confusion. “I’m not as young as you…”

“I’m sorry, are you not up for it?” Julian quickly apologized, worried he’d been a bit too impulsive. “I sort of… assumed.” Julian moved off of Garak and began to slide to the other end of the couch, but Garak caught his wrist, keeping him close. “You’ve only ever come over for sex before.” He gave a guilty smile. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

“I actually wanted to remedy that.” Garak said, still panting slightly. “Just spend time with you.” He sighed and leaned his head back. “I love you, my dear, and yet I didn’t realize that there was someone else controlling you.”

“He wasn’t controlling me most of the time.” Julian explained. “Trust me, I remember everything we did and I was definitely the one calling the shots.” Julian glanced at his hand now being held in Garak’s. The other man was almost timid as he began to stroke little circles with his thumb. “Is something else wrong, Elim?”

“It’s just this station.” Garak waved a hand, motioning to his surroundings. “It’s the closest I can get to anything remotely Cardassian, but it’s really not a place for me.” He looked at Julian with a sort of sad fondness. “I can’t help but think that you’re not really for me either.”

“What are you saying?” Julian blinked.

“I suppose I’ve grown almost content with being discontented.” Garak scoffed. “Exiled from my home, living on a station full of people who hate me, mediocre and tedious work as a tailor…” He moved his hand to gently stroke Julian’s cheek. “But you make me happy, which hardly fits in with everything else.”

“So you’re saying that I’m ‘too good to be true’?” Julian chuckled. Garak nodded. “Oh, Elim, you’re an absolute sap!” Julian laughed. “Did you set me up for that little romantic confession? Be honest.”

“What fun is there in honesty?” Garak smiled innocently.

“Very little.” Julian agreed. He knew it wasn’t the case, but it almost felt like Garak had just given him tacit permission to continue his deception and working for Sloan. “But there’s something rewarding about getting the truth out of someone as elusive as you.”

“Do you intend to torture me?” Garak smirked.

“Do you _want_ me to?” Julian asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That won’t be necessary.” Garak said, shaking his head. “I’m sure as a doctor you would prefer less harmful methods of persuasion.” He purred and placed his hand now on Julian’s thigh.

“Alright, that’s it!” Julian stood up. “You can’t tempt me like that unless you plan to _do_ something about it.” He looked down at Garak with a playful glare. “Do you actually just want to spend time with me more or do you want to spend time with me in a _certain way_?”

“I’m hardly opposed to the latter.” Garak explained innocently. “Just as long as that’s not all we do.”

“Agreed.” Julian sighed regretfully. “I wish I could take you out somewhere.”

“That would be ill-advised.” Garak pointed out. “The Bajorans won’t take kindly to the new doctor dating a Cardassian.”

“An _exiled_ Cardassian.” Julian reminded. “Surely the fact the government they resent has rejected you should count for _something._ ”

“I don’t like making my current predicament well-known, so I doubt they’re aware of my social standing.” Garak inhaled sharply. “Furthermore, once they see the scales, the judgement has already been passed.”

“If you told them what you did,” Julian began, “then you might be seen as a hero!”

“What exactly makes you think _that_ is a possibility?” Garak was clearly amused. “What exactly do you think I was exiled for?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Julian smirked. His plan had been to lead Garak here.

“And if I don’t want to?” Garak asked. Julian shrugged.

“Well then I suppose I’ll have to try out those ‘less harmful methods of persuasion’ you were talking about.” Julian moistened his lips. “You can join me in the bedroom when you’re ready to talk.” He turned and walked towards bed. He hadn’t been lying down long when he heard Garak moving to join him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who let these idiots go into espionage? 
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoy, loves! I'm really happy you guys are liking this fic so much :D


	16. Disapprove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak tells Julian several possible stories of his past.

Garak lay on his back with a small smirk on his face and his eyes closed. Julian seemed to be the type of lover who studied reactions and took note of what to repeat and what not to. Their first time had been lovely, but incredibly standard in comparison to what had just occurred. Garak thought back fondly on how Julian had come to his quarters and playfully insisted that his flirtations had all been grave misunderstandings. Garak had marveled at how soft Julian was, his hair, his skin, they almost invited stroking. Meanwhile, Julian had practically thrown Garak to the bed and gotten to work straight away. The two men obviously had different default speeds.

                But now they knew what the other one liked. Now Garak knew that soft hair he loved to slowly run his fingers through could also be grabbed roughly to pull Julian into a hard kiss that the young man was eager to enjoy. Now Julian had clearly learned that an abrupt slamming against the wall followed by tender and slow attention to Garak’s neck was greatly appreciated. To say Garak was enjoying the sex would be a laughable understatement.

“You’re an ass.” Julian said, causing Garak to open his eyes and look at the doctor whose brow was furrowed and was looking up at the ceiling in complete concentration.

“You didn’t seem to think so a moment ago.” Garak responded, curious to know where this was going.

“You know full well that I want to know why you were exiled.” Julian cast a glare at Garak.

“I _did_ tell you, my dear.” He smirked.

“You told me several stories just now.” Now a smile was beginning to play on Julian’s lips. “Each one incredibly different.”

“Did I?” Garak moved to stroke his chin as if he hadn’t realized this. “How odd.”

“I’d like to think the releasing of Bajoran children is true…” Julian began before rolling onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow. “But I’m not sure it’s my favorite.”

“Do you prefer the disgraced Gul who destroyed a shuttle full of innocent people?” Garak chose that one since he knew for a fact that Julian was unlikely to have enjoyed it. “Or maybe the Obsidian Order agent who attempted to frame his best friend?” Julian shook his head.

“I prefer the romantic ones.” Then a little guilty smile appeared on the young man’s face. “Though the idea of you being a spy is rather sexy.” Garak honestly wondered how Julian was so unwittingly perfect for him.

“You find my exile romantic?” Garak scoffed.

“Well, I certainly will strive to make it so.” Julian brought his finger up to draw little circles on Garak’s chest. “But what I mean is I like the ones where you cast yourself as a lover.” Julian smirked. “The affair with the woman you’d loved since you were young, only for her powerful husband to find out…”

“So that one was your favorite?” Garak asked.

“I’m not sure.” Julian thought. “I like the detail in the one with the Federation ambassador on Cardassia.” His eyes looked a bit distant as he recalled the story. “You playing football with humans, went hiking with the ambassador so you could share a kiss with a beautiful view, only to be exiled when Central Command feared you’d been compromised and would give information to Starfleet.” He sighed wistfully. “I’ll admit, I became a little jealous of this Hans Jordt you made up.”

“You’re assuming I made him up.” Garak corrected. “For all you know, that could be the real story.”

“But then where is Hans now?” Julian asked, obviously doubting there was any truth to it whatsoever. “Surely you’d be with him if that were the case.”

“Or perhaps he really was only using me for information?” Garak sighed. “And once I was no longer of use to him, he revealed that he didn’t actually care for me?” Julian froze and gulped, there was what appeared to be heartbreak in his eyes.

“You don’t expect me to believe that Starfleet would execute such a vile plan, do you?” He gave a nervous chuckle. Garak wondered for a moment. There was that nagging suspicion that Julian was a spy, and his reaction could signify just that. However, Garak felt relatively confident that that wasn’t the case ever since the man had drunkenly shown such affection for him. Besides, a real agent wouldn’t be saddened by his own mission being alluded to, he would either be worried he was compromised or amused that his target was so close and yet so far.

“Believe whatever you like.” Garak shrugged. “You know more about Starfleet than I do.”

“I bet…” Julian began cautiously, “If an agent _were_ sent to seduce you, they’d only end up falling in love with you themselves.” Garak laughed out loud. “ _You’re_ the one who made up a story where you pined over the same woman for _decades!_ ”

“I’m sorry to laugh, but you must admit it’s ridiculous to think an agent of intrigue would fall in love with a disgraced, middle-aged, Cardassian tailor.” Garak rolled his eyes. “This hypothetical spy must have very limited options themselves if they are content with so little.” Garak, to his surprise, was hit with a pillow.

“Don’t speak so poorly of yourself.” Julian scolded. “Besides, _I_ fell in love with you. Are my options incredibly limited?” That smug look waiting for a reply was easily one of Julian’s most charming expressions. The young man _knew_ he was attractive and yet he chose Garak for some reason. Julian was absolutely divine and Garak found himself getting more and more lost in love.

“You are an enigma, my dear.” Garak said, shaking his head. “You’re beautiful and absolutely brilliant, you could easily have your pick of the station if you’d like, but some sort of brain damage has you in bed with me.”

“Brain damage?” Julian laughed.

“Or perhaps a failed experiment?” Garak proposed. “Starfleet Medical wanted to design the perfect doctor, so Julian Bashir was made to excel in every way…” Julian’s smile was again frozen on his face, as if he were stuck there, afraid to move. “And yet the scientists couldn’t seem to get your heart right. It’s always choosing the most revolting companions.” Julian looked questioningly for a moment before laughing again.

“Maybe you were exiled for being so damn ridiculous?” Julian teased. “Or you’re simply insane so they decided they didn’t want to deal with you.”

“Any proof for this insanity?”

“You described yourself as ‘revolting’.” Julian pointed out. “Now, that _is_ insane, considering you’re exquisite.”

“I don’t know how to react to your constant praise.” That was certainly true. It’s wasn’t as if Garak had grown up with any real affection outside of Mila. “So I think I’ll just shake my head at you again.” Garak did so.

“The more you disapprove, the more you encourage me.” Julian warned. And that was it, wasn’t it? Julian seemed to love and revel in their debates. He was an excellent conversationalist, so how was Garak supposed to stand a chance? Beauty and quick wit were Garak’s greatest weaknesses and somehow Julian had both.

“In that case…” Garak began as he moved his hand to cradle that back of Julian’s head. “I disapprove of you greatly.” He pulled Julian into another damning kiss, ensuring that he would remain a slave to this young man forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late post, sorry about that! Hope you enjoy!


	17. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak sees Julian's fantasy come to life during the events of "If Wishes Were Horses"

“Doctor?” Garak asked once he saw Julian at his door. Julian wanted to meet that answering smile with a kiss or anything pleasant, but instead he just quickly ran in and only looked a bit more comfortable once the door slid behind him. “You’re impatient today.” Garak chuckled.

“I’m hiding.” Julian corrected before darting his eyes around. “There’s someone on the station I’d rather not see.”

“Does this someone know you’re here?”

“In your quarters?” Julian asked. “I hope not. But yes, they know I’m on the station in general. I just ran away from them.” Julian ducked his head slightly. It wasn’t exactly something to brag about, running away from one’s fears.

“Can I at least have a description of whom I’m hiding you from?” Garak was clearly amused by this, which frankly, irritated the hell out of Julian. This was a matter of life and death! Alright, not that dire, but it was certainly serious. Julian tried to think of a way he could phrase the situation and make it less embarrassing, but he had to just bite the proverbial bullet.

“My _parents_.” As soon as the words came from his mouth, as if on cue, Garak’s door chime sounded.

“Julian? Are you in there?” It was his mother, which meant his father had to be beside her. He looked pleadingly at Garak who gave a smirk that let Julian know nothing good was coming his way.

“This I _must_ see.” Garak chuckled as he opened the door. “You must be the Bashir’s!” Garak announced, outstretching a welcoming arm to invite them inside.

“Richard.” Julian’s father grinned as he offered his hand to be shaken. “And this is my lovely wife, Amsha.” Garak shook the hand before nodding to Amsha.

“Charmed.” He then looked back at Julian over his shoulder. “You have a lovely son.”

“We couldn’t be prouder.” Amsha’s eyes crinkled when she smiled this wide. Julian wasn’t all that used to seeing this face.

“Yes, you know, Julian is our only child.” Richard essentially strutted over to Julian before clapping a hand on Julian’s back. “But why would you try again when you got it right the first time?” That seemed like such an odd thing for his father to say. Julian wasn’t even the “first time,” Jules was. “We’re just so happy to see him.”

“Well, he’s an excellent young man and doctor.” Garak nodded carefully, though he gave Julian a questioning look. It was clear that Garak was wondering why Julian would flee from such nice and loving parents, but how could Julian explain that this wasn’t normal? “When did you arrive on the station?”

“They didn’t.” Julian huffed. “Not exactly.” And now Julian had to go through the entire explanation as to how fantasies were coming to life on the station, and supportive parents who loved Julian unconditionally were nothing more than a fantasy.

“I see…” Garak’s entire demeanor changed and there was sadness in his eyes. It wasn’t pity like Julian expected, it was something else. Something more tragic. “So why did you come here?”

“They were talking me up to the entire senior staff while I was in Ops.” Julian sighed. “It was _so_ embarrassing.”

“Nothing we said wasn’t true!” Richard insisted.

“Anyway…” Julian grimaced while rolling his eyes. “I tried working alone in my quarters, but it’s hard to get anything done when they’re peering over my shoulder.”

“So you thought you’d bring them here so I could distract them?” Garak was again clearly amused by the idea.

“I was hoping I’d lose them, but yes, that was the idea.” Julian nodded. It wasn’t like there was anyone else he could ask, seeing how the rest of the Senior Staff was busy with the crisis and Julian didn’t really have many friends besides. “Please?” He felt like a pathetic child with his parents there making him all the more self-conscious.

“Anything for you, my dear.” Garak gave a small bow with a smile.

“You have such a nice friend, Julian.” Amsha sighed happily. Julian and Garak exchanged a glance and a smirk.

“I suppose there would be no harm in telling mere illusions, correct?” Garak said, clearly amused. Julian rolled his eyes but nodded with a smile. “We are more than friends, Mrs. Bashir. Your son and I are lovers.” Both of his parents stood in stunned silence, at least this would be a reaction Julian was used to.

“That’s wonderful!” Richard cried out with a massive grin. Julian winced at the loud outburst, since he’d expected screaming or a wallop and certainly not exaltations of joy.

“It…” Julian stammered, trying to recalibrate his mind to this reaction. “It is?”

“You are happy, right Julian?” Amsha said with excited anticipation. Julian could only nod again.

“Then of course it’s wonderful!” Richard walked over to Garak and shook his hand again with more fervor. “I hope you love our boy as much as we do.”

“Hopefully more than you do.” Julian mumbled as he moved toward Garak’s computer, obviously intending to get to work. “It’s password protected?” That was commonplace in Starfleet, but much more unusual for a private citizen on a station provided computer.

“Yes, one moment.” Garak moved over to the screen and typed in something that maybe a slower mind wouldn’t have connected, but Julian’s was certainly fast enough to realize what had just happened.

“Your password is my name?” Julian cursed himself slightly for revealing that he’d not only been looking over Garak’s shoulder, but that he recognized his own name transcribed into Kardasi characters. Garak looked back at Julian with a sly grin.

“It’s considered rude to spy on someone typing in their password, you know.” Garak straightened up his posture and turned to face Julian. “But I am flattered to know you are learning Kardasi.”

“I can only read phonetically.” Julian blushed at being caught. “So foreign words and names are simple, but I don’t know much vocabulary.” That was a lie, Julian could read and write in Kardasi almost flawlessly now. It was all in memory after all. It was his pronunciation that could use work, as he didn’t have that many opportunities to hear the language and there were limited resources.

“You must be quite fond of me.” Garak smiled before taking Julian’s hand. “Or at least _some_ Cardassian.”

“Says the man who’s been speaking Federation Standard.” Julian challenged. He’d tried to further his Kardasi by turning off his translator, only to discover that Garak had been speaking Federation Standard anyway. “Not to mention _you’re_ the one who used my name as your password.”

“It’s a lovely name.” Garak shrugged as if none of this mattered to him. “And therefore, it suits you.” Garak put a hand on Julian’s cheek and looked at him with hooded eyes. Julian glanced back at his on looking parents warily.

“Let’s leave these boys alone, Richard.” Amsha practically giggled as she tugged on Richard’s arm.

“Don’t worry, we know when to make ourselves scarce!” Richard grinned as he and his wife left Garak’s quarters. Garak then dropped his hand with a victorious grin.

“There, that took care of them.” He announced happily as he stepped back to give Julian some space. “I figured you’d be a tad uncomfortable with your parents watching us show any intimacy, so it made sense to assume your fantasies of them would not stick around.”

“Clever.” Julian sighed with relief. “I’m sorry you had to meet them. Real or otherwise.”

“Not at all.” Garak shook his head. “I’m sorry for what they did to you.” Julian’s eyes widened in terror. Had Garak somehow found out?

“What they…” Julian gulped. “Did to me?”

“Yes, my dear.” Garak nodded. “You must have had an unpleasant childhood, to have to dream of parents who love you unconditionally.” There was a knowing element to Garak’s words.

“It wasn’t so bad.” Julian dismissed quickly. “They _do_ love me in their own way.”

“But not without conditions.” Garak reminded. “Hence you fantasize otherwise.” Julian said nothing, though his silence probably said more than he could have tried to express in words. “It’s alright, my dear.” Garak put a delicate hand on Julian’s shoulder with a warm smile. “I love you.” Had Garak said those three little words just then? Julian wasn’t entirely sure, but he knew that the sentiment was definitely there, whether or not it had been voiced. Julian was sure that he was kissing Garak and feeling the man melt in his mouth, clutching his back, and pulling him closer. He was also sure now, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he truly was in love with Elim Garak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention Julian's parents are horrible? (mostly Richard, Amsha is redeemable.) 
> 
> Also, just.... shout out to NoOneKnowsIWriteThis for always being the best beta and just... the best person and oh my god I wouldn't have been able to write half of my fics without your help plus all of your ideas for our co-written fic are so beyond amazing and your own fic is so good, seriously check her stuff out if you guys haven't already!


	18. Across the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian and Garak are affected by the events of "Dramatis Personae".

“Who do you think will win?” Julian asked as he rubbed Garak’s feet. It was something he’d begun insisting on doing, giving Garak a foot massage occasionally. It was something he used to do for Palis after her dance rehearsals, but Julian felt Garak could really use it since he was on his feet almost constantly. Also, Garak was happy to let him continue, seeing how few things actually worked to relax him.

“Win, my dear?” Garak sighed as he let his eyes close and lay more deeply into the couch.

“Yes, Major Kira or Commander Sisko?” When Garak opened his eyes to study Julian’s face, there was a glint of mischief there. “Come on, I know you keep your ear to the ground.”

“I know they had some disagreements on the Valerian freighter that’s docked.” Garak said while raising an eye ridge. “Is Quark taking bets on whether or not the Valerians will be arrested?” Julian chuckled.

“It’s gone far beyond the Valerians now.” He said, shaking his head. “You know it’s only a matter of time before mutiny.” Garak blinked in surprise.

“I most certainly did not know that.” He pulled his feet away and sat up. “You honestly believe that Major Kira is going to try and overthrow Commander Sisko?”

“Don’t worry.” Julian put his hand on Garak’s cheek. “No matter who wins, I’ll protect you.”

“No matter who?” Garak darted his eyes back and forth. “If a hostile Bajoran takeover happens, you can’t honestly believe they’ll let a Cardassian live!” Now Garak was beginning to panic. Where had this come from? He put his hand to his head and tried to understand how he could have forgotten about the growing tensions. Of course a mutiny was coming. Sisko was obsessed with building that clockwork contraption and Major Kira was clearly attempting to recruit people to her side. It had always been like that, why didn’t he make plans?

“Shush, shush, shush…” Julian soothed, holding Garak’s face in both hands now. “I’m making arrangements.” The door chimed. “That should be the beginnings of them now.” Julian smirked. “Come!” The door slid open to reveal Major Kira. Garak froze. Major Kira, the Bajoran Liaison Officer, the second in command, was now witnessing Julian lovingly have his hands on Garak’s face. Garak began to pull away. He could maybe explain it as some sort of medical examination? It was believable that he wouldn’t want to go to the infirmary. However, Julian stilled him by grabbing his shoulder and smiling sweetly. “It’s alright, love.”

“You wanted to see me, doctor?” Kira practically spat as she glared at Garak.

“So good of you to come.” Julian smiled as he stood up and walked over to her. “I understand there may be some changes made around the station soon.” Kira straightened her posture but said nothing. “I’d be happy to write up an official report on any sort of…” Julian waved a hand in the air, “ _accident_ the commander may have. Explaining how it was unavoidable and there will be no need for Starfleet to press charges.” Now a smirk began to grow on Kira’s face.

“In exchange for what?” She said suspiciously.

“Elim and I are a package deal.” Julian said, motioning back at Garak with a nod of his head. “Sisko can rot in hell, you can have all of Bajor for all I care. But if I work with you, no harm can come to him.” He offered up his hand for Kira to shake. It stayed there untouched for a moment of tension that felt like an eternity to Garak before Kira happily took it.

“Welcome to the team.” She grinned before nodding to Garak. “Both of you.” Garak nodded back to her before she left without another word.

“See?” Julian said proudly as he turned back to look at Garak. “We’re going to be taken care of.”

“What about Commander Sisko?” Garak asked. “If he wins, I can’t imagine he’ll take kindly to you having schemed with Kira.” Julian strutted back over to the couch and sat down.

“I doubt he’ll find out.” He shrugged. “But even so, he won’t try anything. He’s intimidated by me.”

“By you?” Garak said questioningly. Julian leaned back, oozing with confidence.

“I have friends in high places.” He sighed. “There’s an admiral who can easily go over his head.” Julian gave Garak a smug look. “Stay with me and you’ll be fine.” Garak loved it when Julian acted this way. So confident and sure. He slid off the couch and knelt down in front of Juian who then spread his legs with a smile.

“I’ll stay with you until the end of time.” He leaned forward and began removing Julian’s trousers. “And our love will blaze across the stars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kira knows now~~~~
> 
> Sorry for another late posting! Hectic weekend and stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one!


	19. Absolute Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian tries to deal with the fact that Kira now knows about his relationship with Garak.

                Everything was a mess now. Julian was sprinting across the promenade, desperate to find Major Kira before everything was ruined. She _knew_ he was with Garak! It’s not as if that revealed his mission, but she was specifically the worst person to find out about him sleeping with a Cardassian. There was simply no way she would approve of Julian being with Garak, she’d even clearly disproved of it back when they were just publicly flirting!

“Major!” Julian called out when he saw her walk into the turbolift. Her eyes widened and she simply gave the turbolift her desired destination, but he was able to jump in just before it started moving. “Major, I’m glad I caught you.” It was obvious she was trying to avoid him, but he needed to do some damage control.

“I’m sorry, doctor.” She gave an awkward laugh. “I, uh…” She studied him for a moment before looking away and inhaling uncomfortably. “I think it would be best if we just forget about it.”

“Major, please.” It wasn’t that Julian was against them acting like it never happened. In fact, he was perfectly fine with that, but he needed to make sure they were in agreement of what exactly they were claiming didn’t happen. Kira sighed.

“Don’t blame yourself.” Kira said, looking at him. “None of us were ourselves. I won’t tell anyone how it affected you.” Julian blinked as he registered what the Major was saying. She believed that his intimacy with Garak was all a part of how their minds had been altered. It would be so easy to go along with that lie.

“Major, I was _with_ him before…” He let his words trail off as she slowly nodded. “I’m not trying to cause any trouble.”

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before getting involved with a Cardassian.” She took a small step away from Julian and essentially closed herself off. However, that strong shell had a small crack in it as she put a hand to her forehead and let out an aggravated exhale. “Look, doctor, I’m sure your Federation idealism has you thinking I’m a bigot—“

“Not at all!” Julian hurriedly interjected. “The pains Bajor suffered at the hands of the Cardassians…” Julian bit his lip. “It’s a learnt prejudice. You have every right to it, but Major…” he racked his brain. He should have just let the lie she’d proposed stand, but it felt too shaky. Too easy for her to fact check if she got suspicious. It was better to use a lie that was invented to be hard to verify. “He’s an exile.”

“An exile?” She said in surprise. “What did he do?”

“There were these Bajoran children…” Julian recounted the story Garak had told him. He knew it had just enough truth in it to seem real. Julian had done his best to investigate all the reasons Garak had given for his exile. Each one had at least one grain of truth to it. This particular story would not only paint Garak in a sympathetic light, but if she tried to research it she would only find the same account that Julian did. There had been only one of the Bajoran children to make it to adulthood and record what had happened. All he could remember at that point was that a Cardassian with blue eyes had saved them. That man had since passed away, so Kira would have no choice but to accept that the Cardassian must have been Garak.

“You believe this?” Kira asked skeptically. Julian shrugged.

“It checks out.” He explained. “But I love him, Major.” Julian admitted. “I love the man beneath the scales who saved lives and ultimately lost his home because of it.” He knew his eyes must have been pleading with her. Begging for her to accept his relationship instead of cursing it.

“And any known Cardassian traitor doesn’t live very long.” Kira nodded, putting the pieces together. “He can’t go around publicizing this information because otherwise the Obsidian Order will get to him.”

“That’s right.” Julian nodded. He hadn’t been aware that was the case but it certainly sounded like a good cover. “But he _is_ a good man.” He then gave her a guilty smile. “Only you and Jadzia know.”

“Dax knows!?” Kira practically shrieked.

“I had to _beg_ her to keep it quiet.” Julian explained. “Please do the same.” Her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide but she nodded.

“You really think you know what you’re doing?” She asked. He nodded. “Alright.” Kira shrugged as the turbolift got to her floor. “Be careful.” She said while exiting.

“I will.” He smiled as the turbolift continued down to the habitat ring. Julian essentially ran to Garak’s quarters, hoping he was in. He needed to make sure the two of them were on the same page in case Kira started asking questions.

“Enter!” Garak said when Julian pressed the door chime. “Ah, Dr. Bashir. Please, do come in.” This was how the two greeted each other at the door. It was always formal and with surprise, in case anyone was watching.

“I talked to Kira.” Julian said once the door closed.

“And?” Garak said, obviously wary of what the outcome of that conversation had been.

“I told her that you’re an exile.” Garak didn’t change his expression, but Julian knew he was probably uncomfortable with that information getting out. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Think nothing of it.” Garak shook his head. “I imagine it was necessary.”

“I also told her the story of the Bajoran children you saved.” Garak raised an eye ridge. “So now she won’t view you as a Cardassian butcher.”

“You lied for me?” Garak had a small smile.

“I don’t know that it’s a lie.” Julian shrugged. “You won’t tell me.”

“But you presented it to her as absolute truth?” Julian nodded. “You are beyond charming, my dear.” Garak smiled.

“Well, I did plot to betray Commander Sisko for you.” Julian laughed. “So don’t act so surprised.” He smirked and wrapped his arm around Garak’s waist. “It was cute how you immediately paid me back for that, by the way.”

“Why must you always describe me as ‘cute’?” Garak rolled his eyes. “I assure you, it’s rarely my intention to appear so.”

“Well, you’re usually just so maddeningly sexy.” Julian purred. “So I find it cute when you let your guard down.” Garak pulled away.

“Young man.” He sighed. “You are incredibly infuriating. I’m going to need you to stop saying such ridiculous things all the time.” Julian opened his mouth to say something but then stopped himself and smiled. “What?” Julian only shrugged. This could be a fun game. “Julian, you’re obviously up to something…” Garak said suspiciously as Julian moved to sit down on the couch. “Are you playing mute to avoid spewing anymore nonsense?” Julian nodded happily and Garak chuckled as he sat down next to him. “While thoughtful, I happen to like having conversations with you.”

“I want to just listen for now though.” Julian sighed and leaned his head on Garak’s shoulder. “You have a soothing voice.” Garak put his hand through Julian’s hair and gently stroked.

“Never give a Cardassian permission to monologue.” Garak chided. “We love to babble.”

“You don’t babble.” Julian chuckled. “ _I_ babble. Usually when I’m nervous. You always make a formal argument with a thesis and supporting evidence.”

“That’s part of the art of conversation, my dear.” Garak grinned. “If you don’t have real purpose behind the words you say, they become nothing more than vocabulary strung together in a haphazard way. One can’t even begin to use appropriate grammar without first knowing what specifically is meant.” He continued to lecture. “When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not merely something I release unto the void, hoping it won’t be challenged. That is my thesis and it requires evidence for me to even come to its conclusion in the first place.” His fingers were momentarily stuck in a knot in Julian’s hair, but he was quick to untangle it. “Our physical intimacy and my enjoyment of it is merely a symptom. Lust does not equal love, though they often are intertwined. As my love for you grows stronger, so does my lust for you. As lust grows stronger, it’s easier to open one’s heart to love. However, one can sacrifice their lustful desires for love and one can lust even greater and greater without any feelings of love whatsoever.” Garak shook his head. “But I feel both for you, which means I ache with both love and lust for you so greatly, the volume of it is almost deafening…”

Garak continued on like that for some time before he even noticed that Julian had fallen asleep to the sound of his voice and the wonderful safety he felt when he was in Garak’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damage control.
> 
> Hope you guys like this one!


	20. Some Good Mothering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is given the task of showing around a few ambassadors around DS9. One of which is Lwaxana Troi.

Julian didn’t know what could possibly make these damned ambassadors happy. They were determined to be difficult and condescending. Julian wanted nothing more than to follow in Commander Sisko’s footsteps and punch one of them in the face, but he knew that would essentially end his career. One ambassador referred to Dax as a “young woman” which Julian was at least able to find amusing since neither one of those words accurately described the science officer. There were so many species in the Federation, and yet they all hardly knew each other. The founding members like the Humans, Andorians, Tellarites, and Vulcans were all well-known, details about those species were not only recorded, they were taught as basic science in Federation schools.

                It was the other species, the ones who were just a bit newer to the Federation that seemed to operate on a “need to know” basis. Not only did the ambassadors not seem all that familiar with a joined Trill, they didn’t seem to care to learn more. Julian couldn’t understand that himself as someone who was always excited to examine a new culture. It seemed the ambassadors did not only politically bring their culture’s and people’s interests to the table, they didn’t take interest in anyone else’s. Was that wise politics? Julian had no idea, but he did know that he would be happier once he was rid of these horrid people.

                There was one ambassador who was happy to learn as much as she could though. Unfortunately, she seemed to ask only questions that Julian would rather not answer. Lwaxana Troi of Betazed was, to put it mildly, a dynamic woman. At first, Julian really liked her. The two of them could talk a mile a minute about hobbies, exes from more obscure species, and really just about anything. She mentioned her daughter who was stationed on the Enterprise and Julian couldn’t help but envy the idea of having a mother like her who just seemed so involved and excited. That was his first mistake, as she of course sensed his thoughts.

“You know, it’s never too late for some good mothering. “ Julian gave a nervous chuckle when she pulled him aside at Quark’s to speak to him privately. He couldn’t deny that had been what he was thinking, she was a telepath after all.

“Yes, well,” He smiled uncomfortably. “I doubt your daughter would be pleased with you adopting a grown Starfleet doctor.” He joked. Yes, it would be nice to have a present maternal figure, but he was trying to be viewed as somewhat of an authority while with the ambassadors. This was simply not the time.

“Who said anything about adoption?” Lwaxana dismissed. “You know, I bet if you met Deanna, you would be my son-in-law like that!” She snapped her fingers with a mischievous grin. Julian just blinked in surprise. That was really not where he had expected this conversation to go. “And you wouldn’t stay a junior grade lieutenant for long! Married to a commander on the flagship of the Federation? Why, I’m very close with Jean-Luc myself, you would rise through the ranks in no time.”

“Jean-Luc _Picard_!?” Had she just called _the_ Captain Picard by his first name as if it were no big deal? It was a tempting proposition. At least being introduced to her daughter wouldn’t hurt, and it wasn’t like Julian didn’t know how to charm a woman. Perhaps in another life he would have allowed Lwaxana to set something up, but instead, all he could think about was how he was too in love with Garak to ever leave. “Well, that is very kind of you Ambassador Troi, but it’s rea—“

“Oh, I’m sorry!” She did actually look a bit taken aback. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone.” Julian’s eyes widened. Quark’s was too public, even if no one else was in the conversation, anyone could overhear. Quark or any of his Ferengi waiters would have no problem eavesdropping with their massive ears and then the whole station would know for a price. “Really, young man, you worry too much.”

“It’s just that…” He inhaled as he tried to figure out what to say. “My personal affairs are a bit complicated right now.”

“It seems they always are with you Starfleet men.” Lwaxana said, rolling her eyes. “Deanna’s father tried to hide his feelings at first, but he found that a little complicated since I could read his mind.” She smirked. “Don’t worry, my dear, I know how to be subtle.” Julian glanced at her vibrant hair and doubted that very much.

“Thank you.” He nodded. “Trust me, I wish I didn’t have to keep this all a secret.”

“There’s nothing worse than hiding the love you feel for another person.” Lwaxana shook her. “My first daughter…” She paused and looked pained before she flashed a vibrant smile. “Oh well, as long as you’re happy, which I can feel you are.” She grinned and squeezed his arm. “But if things change, let me know so I can get you to meet Deanna.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” Julian laughed as she returned to the Dabo table with the other ambassadors. Julian sighed, thinking he was finally going to have a moment to himself. That’s when someone stole Lwaxana Troi’s broach…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'll admit that I hadn't written this (despite Lwaxana easily being one of my favorite characters in all of Trek) and had actually moved on in this fic but then Vios_Shadow pointed out that her arrival was up next and I simply HAD to write it in!


	21. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions with The Circle are rising and someone new learns about Julian and Garak's relationship.

 “Li Nalas asked about you.” Julian said when Garak returned from the replicator with two glasses of kanar.

“Wondering if he needs to fight me in hand to hand combat?” Garak scoffed. He doubted that half of what Li Nalas was credited with had actually happened, let alone been the responsibility of one man. It wouldn’t have been physically possible for starters, so many victories claimed in the name of Li Nalas were at the same time or after he would have been captured.

“Actually, he was more curious as to how you ended up with a human.” Julian confidently took a sip of his kanar, even though his eyes showed he still wasn’t quite used to the viscosity of it.

“Are you going to tell me _why_ he knows about our relationship or are you going to make me guess?” Garak sighed. Dax had kept her promise to keep quiet and seemed to be a close friend to Bashir, Kira was an accident, but now Li Nalas? A man Bashir hardly knew who was practically the figurehead of the Bajoran resistance?

“He saw you on the promenade apparently.” Julian smiled. “And he asked Kira what a Cardassian was doing here.”

“And I suppose there was no way she’d withhold information from her personal hero?” Garak sighed as Julian nodded. “Still, you seem happy so I imagine we’re not in too much trouble.”

“I think he was somewhat relieved to have people defending a Cardassian to him.” Julian shrugged. “When I started explaining to him that you’re alright, he stopped me, saying Kira had already laid out all your positive traits.”

“The Major was in support of _me_?” Garak said in surprise. “I’m beginning to think this whole story is false.”

“It’s true.” Julian smirked before letting out a sad sigh. “I think that business with Maritza really got to her, honestly.” Garak nodded in agreement, it seemed likely. “Anyway, he said he’s glad you’ve been allowed to stay on the station despite recent history. He was also impressed that you’d have a romance outside of your own species.”

“Xenophobia is in our genetics, my dear.” Garak shook his head. “That being said, you’re too delightful to ignore.” Garak took a sip of his kanar before growing more thoughtful. “So Li Nalas supports the integration of numerous species?”

“I suppose so.” Julian smiled. “I think he just honestly wants peace and freedom.” There was this fond look on Julian’s face. This kind of Federation idealism that sparkled in his eyes and seemed to light him up completely.

“Are you developing a crush, my dear?” Garak joked, though he was a bit worried.

“What?” Julian said surprised. “On Li Nalas?” He blinked before blushing. “Damn it, Elim, _no!_ ”

“You like him, don’t you?” Garak accused, though it was playful.

“Like him, yes.” Julian huffed. “I’m not in love with him.”

“Mm, and if you and I were not involved?” Garak smiled. Julian’s blush only grew deeper. “Honestly, my dear, there’s no shame in this. Not only is Li Nalas a well-loved hero, I can see that he’s very attractive.”

“He’s handsome.” Julian conceded. “Alright, yes, if I were available I might consider it but Elim, I would _never_ cheat on you.” Julian put down his kanar and looked firmly in Garak’s eyes.

“I suppose in the battle over Julian Bashir’s heart, Li Nalas was defeated.” Garak chuckled. “The Bajorans will be devastated.”

“Just wait until the revisionists get ahold of the story.” Julian smiled. “I’m sure I’ll be wooed away by him then.”

“Not to mention, I’ll be killed.” Garak added. “Li will disarm me easily and the crowds will cheer as he chokes the life out of me.”

“I’ll weep over you.” Julian smirked. “I’ll throw myself at your corpse and make an absolute fool of myself with my wailing.”

“They’ll find a way to explain that.” Garak said, shaking his head. “You’re crying tears of relief, now that your Cardassian abuser is gone.”

“Or I could be vilified as well.” Julian suggested. “A pagh-less human from the wicked Federation.” Julian frowned and bit his lip. “Tensions have been getting higher.”

“Yes, I know.” Garak sighed. “Bajorans focused on the fight for freedom for so long, they didn’t plan for what to actually do with it.”

“They used to love embracing other cultures.” Julian reminded. “Then _someone_ taught them to be a little more wary.”

“True, though isolationism is hardly the answer.” Garak pointed out. “Cardassia will gladly return for control of the wormhole if the Federation leaves.”

“I know.” Julian nodded. “That’s why I’m not leaving.”

“You may not get a choice in the end.”

“I’m staying, Elim.” Julian said firmly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, maybe it will all fix itself, but if it doesn’t, I’m not going to let everything we’ve done this past year go to waste.”

“Well,” Garak smiled. “I’m certainly glad to know you’ll be sticking around.”

“Elim…” Julian bit his lip and furrowed his brow. “If things _do_ get bad. If the Federation _does_ have to leave. Promise me you’ll run.”

“My dear?”

“A Cardassian won’t be safe here if the Bajorans reject outsiders.” He put his hand on Garak’s knee. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“It would hardly be safe for _you_ and you just said that you’d stay regardless.” Garak reminded.

“Elim.” Julian said again, almost commanding. “I love you. Don’t put yourself at risk for something you don’t even believe in. I want Bajor to become a part of the Federation and I’m a member of Starfleet, it’s my duty to do all I can. But my duty to my heart is making sure you’re safe.”

“I’m in no rush to die, my dear.” Garak smiled. “I promise you, I’ll keep out of harm’s way.” Julian grinned happily. “But you should as well.”

“I’ll try my best.” Julian nodded. “Truly, you’re worth living for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slowly but surely everyone will find out XD
> 
> Alright, I may be projecting because I low-key have a crush on Li Nalas, lol.
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoyed this! :D


	22. Incoming Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sloan tells Julian to find out any information he can on Enabran Tain.

“What the hell is going on out there?” Sloan was obviously in no mood for pleasantries if this was how he was going to start the conversation.

“Sir, I assure you, tensions on Bajor have settled. The Circle has lost all credibility now that it’s been revealed they were being supplied by the Cardassians.” It had been an insane past few days. Kira had been relieved and then kidnapped, the Bajoran government announced that all non-Bajorans had to leave, and Li Nalas was killed. Everything was relatively back to normal now, but it seemed unlikely anyone would feel safe anytime soon.

“And Garak didn’t give you any sort of warning ahead of time?” Sloan furrowed his brow. “He didn’t tell you what the Cardassians were up to?”

“Garak didn’t know, sir.” Julian said firmly. “If he had, I’m certain he would have passed along that information.”

“Is there a reason you’re so confident, doctor?” Sloan frowned. Julian thought about how thankful he was they always talked through screens, the man was incredibly intimidating in person.

“He’s in love with me, sir.” Julian had held back on sharing that before. It felt like a betrayal of trust, to just tell Admiral Sloan about Garak’s feelings for him. But Julian needed to make sure Sloan felt Julian’s tactics were effective, or else he may assign someone else or have Julian use less pleasant methods.

“You’re certain of that?” Sloan said in surprise. Julian nodded. “This _is_ good news.” Sloan smirked. “And you feel he definitely has information that will be useful?”

“He can’t stand Gul Dukat.” Julian said quickly. “I figure anything we learn to discredit Dukat can only be of the utmost value.” A reasonable assessment, though the truth was that Julian hadn’t been focusing on getting information out of Garak in a while. He’d need to find out more to keep Sloan appeased. “If you give me specific things you want me to learn from him, I’m sure I can provide you with ample information.” Sloan seemed to consider this for a moment before leaning back in his chair and nodding.

“Find out anything you can about Enabran Tain.” He pointed with his index finger. “Any intelligence we get on him is vital.”

“Enabran Tain, sir?” Julian asked. “Who is he?”

“The former head of the Obsidian Order.” Sloan explained. “Only one to ever retire, though I suspect he’s keeping his hand in.” Julian nodded, it seemed likely. “Either way, as long as he’s alive, he’ll still be viewed as the true Obsidian Order. Just because a man retires, doesn’t mean people stop fearing him.”

“If Garak knows anything about him, I’ll let you know.” Julian grinned.

“Be careful how you bring him up.” Sloan warned. “His name is like a threat on Cardassia but he keeps a low profile outside of their empire.”

“Understood, sir.” Julian nodded. “Is that all?”

“That’s all, doctor.” Without a proper goodbye, Sloan ended his transmission. Julian leaned back and sighed before asking the computer to give him all information it had on Enabran Tain.

                There wasn’t much. Tain was currently residing on the Arrawath Colony and he had a mansion on Cardassia Prime. His officially listed job was a vague government title and there was only one picture of him provided. Julian smiled as an idea came to him. He’d have to forge a communique, but that was simple enough. Once he finished typing in the simple and seemingly innocent message he pressed his Comm badge.

“Bashir to Garak.” There was a short pause before the response.

“Garak here, doctor. What can I do for you?”

“Are those trousers done by any chance? I have a date.” That was Julian’s code to invite Garak over. If Garak wanted to invite Julian over, he claimed to not be feeling well and would say that he’d rather not go to the infirmary.

“I’ll bring them over immediately.” It didn’t take long for Julian to hear his door chime.

“Enter.” Julian smiled as the door revealed Garak, trousers in hand. It wouldn’t do to show up empty handed. “I’ve missed you.” Julian walked over to Garak once the door closed and gave him a deep kiss. “I was worried we’d never see each other again when you evacuated.”

“You were the one who insisted I leave.” Garak reminded. “Though I’m also glad of our reunion.” Julian began trailing kisses down Garak neck ridges and unfastening his tunic.

“I love you.” Julian breathed before resuming his kisses. “I think you and I should just lie in bed together and never leave.” Garak was about to say something when the computer spoke right on cue.

 _“New message from the Cardassian Arrawath Colony.”_ Garak glanced at Julian curiously who shook his head.

“I’ll check it later.” He moved to kiss Garak again, but was stopped.

“You don’t often get communiques from Cardassian colonies, do you?” Garak asked. Julian sighed.

“True, but there’s only one Cardassian I care about at the moment.” He huffed and slumped his shoulders. “Alright, I’ll check it, but I’m not about to compose a long response.”

“Take your time.” Garak insisted as he moved to the couch. “I’m in no hurry.” Julian frowned and then moved over to his console where the message he himself had created was waiting for him. “Anything interesting?” Garak had to be dying with curiosity, otherwise he wouldn’t be playing so coy.

“It’s just someone asking for my notes on the Aphasia virus from a few months back.” Julian furrowed his brow. “Though I hadn’t realized Cardassia was made aware of that incident.” Julian had no way of knowing if the Union actually had learned of the Aphasia virus, but he imagined Garak wouldn’t find it odd if the head of the Obsidian Order knew. It wasn’t like it was a closely guarded secret.

“Who would be interested in that?” Garak asked. He was acting so innocent, but Julian suspected Garak was on the edge of his seat.

“A, uh…” Julian read the communique again as if he didn’t write it himself. “A Mr. Enabran Tain.” He turned back to Garak with a smile. “I don’t suppose you know him?” Garak raised an eye ridge and stood up.

“Would you mind if I read the message?” Julian motioned with his arm and stepped aside so Garak could read from the console. He felt his heart race slightly as Garak looked over his forgery. It was purposefully formal and impersonal, which would reduce the possibility of being spotted as a fake. Furthermore, Julian had typed it in Kardasi and then allowed the Universal Translator to make it appear in Federation Standard. This would further the authenticity and make Julian look even more innocent as Garak believed Julian’s Kardasi was not that refined. “You should be very careful, doctor.” Garak said gravely.

“I’m sorry?” Julian asked. “Elim, who is he?”

“Do you know what the Obsidian Order is, Julian?” Julian shook his head in a lie. “I pray you never find out.”

“Elim, you’re scaring me.” There was a haunting element to Garak changing his demeanor so suddenly.

“Enabran Tain _is_ the Obsidian Order.” Garak said, looking Julian directly in the eye now. “Crossing him ends your life on Cardassia.” Did Garak mean that it meant death if you crossed Tain while on Cardassian soil, or that your life on Cardassia would be over since you’d be exiled if you crossed Tain? Had Garak done something to offend the man?

“Why would this man reach out to me?” Julian asked in mock fear.

“I don’t know.” Garak said before putting a hand on Julian’s cheek. “But I won’t let him harm you.” He drew Julian into a long embrace which left Julian smiling. “I love you, Julian.” Garak whispered.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D:
> 
> Such drama. Much shock.
> 
> Such Kudos? Much comments?


	23. Realm of Possibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak comes to a startling conclusion based on Julian's questions about Tain and Garak's past.

This was bad. No, bad was an understatement. This was catastrophic. Why was Tain sending a message to Julian? Whatever his plan was, why hadn’t he gotten Garak to carry it out? Was he attempting to see how already forthcoming Julian would be with information? Was he trying to lure Julian to the Arrawath colony for some reason? There was no _good_ reason for Tain to be contacting Julian.

“You’re tense.” Julian said, taking Garak out of his train of thought. “What’s wrong?” Garak looked at Julian lying against him, eyes wide. Despite his projection of innocence, Garak could see that Julian knew exactly what was wrong. He must have been quiet for longer than he’d realized, because Julian sighed and filled the silence himself. “This Tain really frightens you?”

“Everyone has reason to fear the Order.” Garak said. Julian wouldn’t realize that he was quoting Tain himself with that line. Tain reveled in the fear. Garak had often wondered what his father’s own childhood had been like, to only feel at ease with others cowering before him.

“Even you?” Julian whispered and then immediately bit his lip in worry.

“Yes…” Garak admitted. “You even have reason to fear the Order, you just don’t understand what it is.”

“Then _tell_ me.” Julian pleaded. “Elim, you sound paranoid. Describing some vague evil that’s coming after you.”

“What worries me is I’m not the one they’re coming after.” Garak pointed out. “I don’t know what Tain wants from you.”

“Maybe he just honestly wants my notes on the Aphasia virus.” Garak rolled his eyes. “It’s possible!”

“If he is interested in the virus, it’s only so he can use it against his own enemies.” He warned. “But I doubt he’d ask for the information instead of just taking it.”

“Who is he, Elim?” Julian asked. “Please, I need to know.”

“I told you.” Garak sighed.

“Yes, yes, he’s the head of the Obsidian Order.” Julian dismissed. “But you won’t explain what that _means_ , and without context, it’s hardly an answer.” Garak studied Julian’s face. The existence of the Order wasn’t classified, neither was their purpose, though it was not something talked about. Why not tell Julian? At least then the young man would be more able to protect himself.

“They’re our intelligence community.” Garak began. “They gather information on enemies to the state.”

“Foreign or domestic?” Julian asked. Garak simply cast him a look. “Ah, both.” Garak nodded. “And I imagine nothing good happens to an enemy of the state?”

“They’re not all killed.” Garak said. “Though they all wish they were by the end of it.” Garak remembered Dr. Parmak’s flinching every time Garak would simply tilt his head and he had to restrain himself from smiling. He had been very good at his job.

“But I’m _not_ an enemy of Cardassia!” Julian insisted. “I would never do anything to harm your people.”

“I imagine you don’t approve of Tain’s methods.” Julian shook his head. “Then that makes you his enemy. Anyone against Tain offends his view of what Cardassia must be.”

“Why does he even know of my existence?” Julian frowned. “I imagine _most_ Starfleet officers would disagree with him if they learned who he is. Why am I being singled out?” That was a good question. One Garak didn’t have the answer to. Of course Garak knew that he himself had reported on Julian, but what made him of special interest in the first place? How did Tain know the young man had a secret and why did he want to know it? “Do you think…?” Jullian muttered.

“My dear?”

“Do you think this is to hurt you?” Julian gulped. “I mean, whatever it is you did, to be exiled. Is Tain your enemy?” That was something Garak hadn’t considered. Since his exiled status, _was_ Tain Garak’s enemy? “Maybe he knows about us?” That was comical, considering Tain was the one who told Garak to pursue Julian in the first place. Did Tain know Garak would fall for Julian? Did Tain orchestrate this entire thing so Garak would have an easily manipulated weakness? It certainly wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. “Elim, you have to tell me what we’re up against.”

                Julian was so inquisitive at times. Garak wanted to tell him everything. He wanted to tell him he was a former agent and would most likely be able to protect him. But that desire in itself was suspicious. To reveal so many secrets about the Order all to keep Julian safe? If Tain knew he was even considering this, he would laugh in his face and then rip out his heart for being a traitor. What if Tain had his suspicions? What if Julian was working for Tain?

“Alright, Julian.” Garak sighed in false defeat. “I’ll tell you everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late post again! Been crazy busy lately. I try to post around 11pm EST but now it's about 5am so... yeah... whoops....
> 
> Hope you guys are still enjoying!


	24. Becoming Desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian becomes more enamored with Garak when he learns his "past."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No need to have read A Stitch In Time, but if you have, you'll have noticed the shoutouts (like Hans Jordt) in a previous chapter and sooooo many in this one. But honestly, you don't have to have read it since Garak is still a lying liar.

Julian had grown embarrassingly hard as Garak detailed what his life on Cardassia had been and who Enabran Tain was exactly. It wasn’t as if the story hit any particular fetish for Julian, but Garak was trusting him so completely _and_ Julian was succeeding in his mission for Starfleet intelligence. Garak had noticed how turned on Julian had become and of course had no real choice but to comment.

“I must say, this is not the reaction I expected.” He smirked, looking down at Julian’s arousal.

“Sorry,” Julian blushed. “I’ve just… wanted to know your past for so long.”

“So now that I’m telling you, you’re thoroughly distracted?” Garak chuckled. “That seems inconvenient.”

“Are you, um…” Julian wriggled slightly, “Are you ready to go again soon?”

“I bare my soul, and yet you grow so impatient.” Garak chided. “Honestly, it seems a tad insensitive.”

“Barkan was the name of your lover at Bamarren, the military academy.” Julian sighed. “You and he became Guls of some importance after your graduation.” Julian stroked Garak’s cheek and leaned in, but Garak moved away.

“And?”

“And while you remained on Cardassia Prime, Barkan was on Bajor with Gul Dukat.” Julian thought for a moment, recalling all the details. “You uncovered a plot by Dukat’s father to destroy all pathways to class mobility, and had him arrested. This made Dukat himself resent you and forge an alliance with Tain.”

“I’m certain Dukat is the one who killed Barkan.” Garak shook his head sadly. “Who else could it have been?”

“I _am_ sorry.” Julian said before laying a short kiss on Garak’s lips. “But you still haven’t told me why Tain wanted Barkan dead.”

“I was about to, but your attentions were elsewhere.” Garak smirked, causing Julian to blush again. “Can you wait a bit longer?” Julian nodded. “Barkan and I were smuggling Bajoran children to refugee camps.” A smile appeared on Julian’s face. He _knew_ Garak, the man he’d fallen in love with, was a good person. “I filled out paperwork to approve the transfer of the children to different provinces and Barkan made sure they were rerouted out of Cardassian space.”

“That was very brave.” Julian breathed. Garak sighed and looked away.

“We were fools to think we’d be able to avoid the Order’s notice.” Garak shook his head. “When Barkan was killed, I knew I had to escape, but I could never return. I fled like a coward.”

“You did what you had to do to survive.” Julian said firmly. “You saved Bajoran lives, you’re entitled to saving your own.” He ran his hand through Garak’s hair. “You’re a courageous man, Elim.”

“Tain killed my lover back then.” Garak said, pain in his eyes as he looked back at Julian. “Contacting you… I’m afraid he’s going to do the same thing again.”

“Elim,” Julian soothed. “We’re not in Cardassian space. Tain doesn’t have as strong a hold here.” He lightly traced Garak’s orbital ridge with his finger. “And we’re together. We’ll keep each other safe. I promise.” He got a small, sad smile out of Garak with that and another kiss. “I won’t respond to Tain, so don’t worry.” Though Julian would certainly be giving a very long report to Sloan soon.

“I’m worried that when you’re alone…” Garak paused. “I’m worried he’ll find a way to get you.” Julian frowned. It would be a reasonable fear if the message from Tain were real.

“Then don’t leave me alone.” Julian suggested. “When I work, there’s always at least one nurse in the infirmary with me. Not to mention it’s never really empty on the Promenade, the replimat, Ops, or at Quark’s. I’m only ever really alone in my quarters.”

“Are you proposing I move in with you?” Garak asked in surprise. “I doubt Starfleet would view that as platonic.”

“I don’t know how it would work.” Julian sighed. “We’ve stayed the nights at each other’s quarters plenty of times and no one has been the wiser. I can talk to Dax and Kira, explain a bit of the situation?” He shrugged. “The only other people nosy enough to find out would be Odo and Quark. Odo won’t say anything if Kira tells him to keep quiet and Quark, well…” Julian chuckled. “If he _does_ find out, Odo will happily keep him in line.”

“The complicated logistics aside.” Garak dismissed. “You _want_ to live together? Surely you can have a security detail assigned to you with much less of a struggle.”

“I already hate not being with you.” Julian smiled guiltily. “And there’s no one I feel safer with than you.” It was all true, though Julian’s proposed plan was highly unrealistic. He knew Garak would probably decline, but he wanted to make sure Garak knew he still loved him after telling him everything.

“Julian, your idealistic nature knows no bounds.” Garak chuckled. “And as lovely as you make it sound, it’s really not possible.” Julian pouted. It was for the best that Garak didn’t move in with him though, it wouldn’t do for Sloan to try to contact Julian and Garak overhear their conversation. “I _am_ sorry I can’t accept though.” Garak added. Julian smirked and pressed up against Garak so the other man knew that he had definitely not grown less excited.

“Make it up to me?” He asked before licking his lips.

“Well…” Garak said as though he had to think about it. “You have been good.” Julian nodded. “And you _are_ lovely.” He brushed Julian’s hair back.

“And _you_ are a tease.” Julian whined. He began laying kisses down Garak’s ridges. “A beautiful, brilliant, and brave tease.” Garak shivered.

“Mm, you’re becoming desperate.” Garak smiled as he let his eyes close. Julian moved his hand to Garak’s chufa, stroked it gently and then brought his lips to Garak’s ear.

“Please?” He purred. Needless to say, his wish was granted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak: *weaves intricate tale and lies*  
> Julian: "Take me now."
> 
> I just... what do I even write?? XD


	25. Sins In Your Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak is thrown back and forth on the roller coaster of discovering just who exactly Julian Bashir is.

Garak wondered where Tain could have possibly found an agent as perfect as Julian Bashir. Garak actually found himself researching different Alpha Quadrant species that were considered to be the perfect mates. Eventually, he came across the empathic metamorphs from Krios. Tain had had minor dealings with the Kriosians after their rebels against the Klingon Empire had attacked a Cardassian freighter in the Ikalian asteroid belt, so it was possible he’d made contacts there. Male metamorphs were relatively common on Krios and could make themselves into the ideal romantic partner for anyone. Garak was certain that Julian had to be one of them.

                The Kriosians appeared almost identical to humans, only some simplistic markings, similar to the Trill to discern them, so it would have been no issue at all for Julian to pretend to be human. Furthermore, Kriosians had a much higher tolerance for alcohol than humans, which explained how Julian was able to drink two bottles of Saurian Brandy and still play his part. How long had he been working for Tain? It would have to have been before he enlisted in Starfleet for him to pass as human. According to Garak’s research however, the metamorphs eventually imprinted on a permanent mate, and Julian would be the correct age to be going through that process. Tain would never risk his agent falling in love with their target due to genetic probability, so he wouldn’t send a metamorph of Julian’s age to Garak.

                If Julian Bashir wasn’t a metamorph… Well, Garak was running out of ideas. He _could_ be a human. He could be a brilliant human agent that was working for Tain, possibly even fed information from Tain on how best to seduce Garak. It was possible the brandy was watered down or actually synthale, even though Lt. Dax was absolutely truly intoxicated. It was all unlikely, but Garak was certain of one thing: Julian was working for Enabran Tain himself.

                Garak switched on the wire. He hadn’t needed to keep it on since he started sleeping with Julian, he’d only occasionally made the endorphins surge through his brain when he had a particularly frustrating client or he suffered some other unfortunate setback. Now the idea that his own father was setting him up to be manipulated, that the love of his life was actually a lie… Needless to say, Garak needed the wire now more than ever. 

                Garak had been staring at his shop’s console, trying to figure out what to say to Tain. There was a part of him that hoped he’d have a message from Tain waiting for him saying something like, “I sent a message to your doctor. I hope it properly spooked him so now he’s turning to you for comfort. Manipulate that!” But no such luck. Would it be wrong for him to simply ask Tain why he sent Julian a message? After all, Julian himself let him see the message, so Tain must have wanted him to see it. It would be more unusual for Garak _not_ to question that, right?

“The doctor received your message. Do you wish him to go to the Arrawath colony? Shall I accompany him?” Garak reread what he’d typed several times before finally transposing it into code and sending it along. It didn’t reveal that he suspected Julian was actually working for Tain and it didn’t reveal his worry that Tain was actually manipulating him. Instead, it was the message of a loyal son and underling, wanting to know how to best continue his mission.

                Despite the pleasure the wire gave him, his anxiety often wasn’t soothed. Garak wasn’t a particularly anxious person, so usually the wire simply pleasured him and he’d seem incredibly serene. However, when Tain was involved, it took all of Garak’s willpower to keep his heart from beating right out of its chest with fear. The wire being used when he was in a state of such high anxiety was very different, it transformed his fear into excited anticipation even though the logical part of his brain told him that he needed to prepare for the worst. He could still prepare and he could still think critically, but he couldn’t worry. The urgency and terror was gone and all that was left was a smile.

                He wore that drug induced smile for several days and continued to find reasons to put off seeing Julian alone again. They would still do lunches and the odd conversation here and there, but Garak needed to distance himself for a bit to readjust his perspective. After returning to the station since the storm evacuation, he’d actually begun to fool himself into thinking that maybe it wasn’t truly love he felt for Julian, maybe it was a mere infatuation, until Julian came to his quarters days later.

“Have you been avoiding me?” Julian said once the door was open.

“Come in, my dear.” Garak deflected. It was best not to have this conversation in the hallway. Julian gave a fearful look and then nodded before entering. He looked so nervous, Garak wanted to hold him and tell him everything was fine, he still ached for the young man. He’d still gotten no response from Tain, which seemed peculiar, but not all that surprising. What was surprising was that Garak found his arms around Julian, soothing the man he loved. “I’ve been busy.”

“Jadzia almost died.” Julian whispered. Garak pulled away so he could study Julian’s face. “Another Trill came and took Dax from her, but everything is alright now.”

“I’m sorry.” Garak breathed. “That must have been terrifying.” Had Garak been so caught up in his self-pity and drugs that he’d missed something so big? It was unfortunately likely, as he tended to notice less while on the wire. He could only hope that this all occurred while the station was evacuated, so it wasn’t actually odd that he had no idea, but he wasn’t sure.

“Verad, the other Trill, he became joined with Dax.” Julian bit his lip. The more he was explaining, Garak felt safe in assuming that Julian didn’t expect him to know any of this. “So he knew about us.” Garak’s eyes widened. “He didn’t reveal anything. As odd as it is to say, he was still Dax.”

“It’s good to know our secret is safe for multiple lifetimes.” Garak smirked.

“He and I were in the infirmary alone together, and he put his hand on my shoulder.” Julian shivered. “He told me to be careful with my heart.” Julian gave a sad smile. “Even though it already belongs to you.” Garak said nothing and Julian sighed. “I just realized… that we haven’t really spent time together since you told me everything. Are you afraid?” Still, Garak said nothing. “I still love you. In many ways, I may love you more now that I know what you’ve done.” He blushed as the silence continued. “But, well, I don’t know if you believe that or even think you deserve it. For all I know, it all could have been another lie, maybe designed to make me want you more.” He shrugged. “But if there are sins in your past, things you haven’t shared or don’t want to, know that I couldn’t ever love you less.” Garak wanted to believe him. He wanted to make love to the man and hold him close, but he couldn’t.

“Have you heard from Tain again?” Garak sighed. Julian furrowed his brow.

“Is that what this is about?” He asked, looking hurt. “Elim, if you’re trying to protect me by staying away…” Julian looked pained and conflicted before finally pulling away and letting his face look stern. It was clear that he expected a negative reaction to whatever it was he was going to say. “I faked the message from Tain.”

“You, _what_?” Garak gasped. Was this a ploy? Something to keep Garak from worrying about Tain?

“Odo mentioned the Obsidian Order.” Julian explained. “I got paranoid. I started to worry about what your past might really be.” He bit his lip and started wringing his hands. “I thought you might tell me something if you thought the head of the Order was contacting me. I couldn’t find out who was the current leader, so I had to use Tain’s name.”

“You’re serious?” Garak asked, studying Julian’s face.

“I can show you the data record.” Julian shrugged. “While the communique is addressed from the Arrawath colony, the computer should show that it was sent from the station if you look.”

“You lied to me.” Garak breathed.

“I’m so sorry.” Julian’s eyes were wide and pleading. “I thought you would just give me your opinion on the Order, then I’d know if you’d been involved with it. I didn’t expect you to open up so much.” Julian bit his lip again. “It was reckless and heartless of me and…” He looked away. “I understand if you don’t want to see me again.”

“My dear!” Garak exclaimed, causing Julian to jump. “I couldn’t be more delighted that your life is not in danger!” Julian wasn’t working for Tain. This beautiful creature wasn’t a spy!

“But I tricked you.” Julian pointed out. “I shouldn’t have lied!”

“Trust me, my dear, I am more charmed by your actions than anything.” This sneakier side to Julian was not only interesting, but could begin to give Garak clues as to what Julian’s true secret was. “After all, every time you would ask me about my past directly I would lie. It’s only fair that you lie to me to finally get the truth.” He smiled and Julian let out a relieved laugh. “Now, if you don’t mind…” Garak purred before he pressed Julian against the wall and nuzzled his cheek softly. “I really have been neglecting you lately.”

“Wait…” Julian smiled before running his fingers through Garak’s hair. “I truly _am_ sorry about lying, Elim. Let me make it up to you.”

“How so?” Garak asked, licking his lips.

“How do you want?” Julian spent the night certainly earning Garak’s forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak is eventually just going to take a flower and do the "he loves me, he loves me not" thing with its petals. 
> 
> So I personally think Julian is good at reading Garak which is why even though he's not a great spy, he's doing a pretty okay job figuring out when to tell the truth and when not to. Of course, he cares a lot about Garak so that also makes him a mess, lol.


	26. A Father Himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dukat shows concern for Garak, Julian is immediately suspicious.

“Sir, Dukat and Garak hate each other.” Julian said in confusion. “You’re telling me that Dukat was claiming to be _concerned_ about Garak?” Sisko bit his lip and let out an exasperated sigh.

“It sounds like you’re saying any concern he has is based on some ulterior motive.” Sisko was shaking his head. He clearly wanted that to _not_ be what Julian was saying, it only complicated matters, but he knew it must be true. “He said he wanted to bring the Cardassian war orphans back from Bajor. Find out what Garak knows about any of this.”

“Right away, sir!” Julian nodded happily and began to leave.

“One minute, doctor.” Sisko had gotten up from his seat and walked around his desk. He leaned back onto his desk, which seemed to be his chosen stance for when he felt Julian needed a paternal sort of lecture. “I know that there are some pieces of information that you don’t report to either Lt. Dax or myself,” Julian nodded. Certain things he only told Admiral Sloan directly, like the exact details of Garak’s past. “But you _did_ tell Dax that you felt you were in love with him.” Julian froze. “Do you still feel that way now?”

“Of course not, sir.” Julian chuckled. “I was just confused, but I’ve sorted myself out since then.” Julian hated lying to Commander Sisko. Not being completely honest with him made him feel as if he were lying to everyone on the station, more so than he already was.

“If you _were_ to fall in love with Mr. Garak…” Sisko began. “I wouldn’t see any issue with that as long as you don’t change who you are.”

“Sir?” Julian blinked.

“Whether you were assigned to him or not, would you want Mr. Garak to defect to the Federation?” Sisko asked.

“Yes, sir.” Julian said. “He _is_ a good man and he would be an asset, I’m sure.”

“Then if you were in love with him, you’d only be more motivated to achieve that goal.” Sisko said with a small smirk. Was this what a father was supposed to do? Pinpoint their son’s fears and guide them through it with old wisdom? Julian had no real model to compare this to. “Do whatever you think is best, doctor.” Trust. Sisko trusted Julian whether he fell in love with Garak or not!

“Right, sir.” Julian nodded with a smile and left.

 

               When Julian returned to the infirmary, he was able to fix up Garak’s hand easily. Rugal had bitten with intention, so the marks were actually rather deep, but nothing that couldn’t be easily repaired. Garak didn’t complain, which was good, though Julian could tell that he was incredibly irritated.

“I _am_ sorry about this, Elim.” Julian said once the nurse left and they were alone. “I imagine being attacked by the first Cardassian you reach out to since your exile isn’t very comforting.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” Garak sighed while looking at his newly healed hand. “Even a child knows not to associate with me.”

“Dukat tried to act like you two were friends.” Julian scoffed. “I told Commander Sisko not to trust him.” Garak raised an eye ridge.

“He and I? _Friends_?” Garak scoffed. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.” Julian shook his head. “He claims he wants to bring the war orphans back to Cardassia.” Garak chuckled. “I’m missing something.”

“It was Dukat’s decision to leave those children behind in the first place, my dear.” Julian’s jaw dropped.

“Good lord…” He breathed. “How can one man be so heartless?” Julian furrowed his brow and shook his head. “He’s a father himself! Yet he has no problem abandoning defenseless children?” Julian wanted to hit something. Actually, he wanted to hit Dukat himself, but instead he found Garak taking his arm and gently rubbing it as a soothing motion.

“Orphans have no status on Cardassia.” Garak explained. “Without a family name to recommend you, you’re doomed to be viewed as a lesser citizen.” Garak bit his lip. “It may actually be better for those children to stay on Bajor.”

“Then why would Dukat claim he wants them brought home now?” Julian shook his head. “It doesn’t make any sense.” Garak thought for a moment before speaking softly.

“Labor, perhaps?” He guessed. “Now that we’ve lost Bajor, he may be looking for a new group to use for mining.” Julian paled.

“He wouldn’t actually force children to…?” He couldn’t finish his question, for he knew the answer was that Dukat was heartless. “If Rugal hadn’t come to the station… none of this would be happening.” He sighed.

“That is curious, isn’t it?” Garak said. “Why did Rugal’s father bring him to DS9 and how is it that Dukat found out so quickly?”

“That…” Julian paused. “Is a very good question.” He smirked and looked at Garak. “One that we’re going to find the answer to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty awkward for Dukat that Julian knows Garak and him hate each other. Get Wrecked.
> 
> Happy Halloween, friends! Hope you're still enjoying this nonsense!


	27. Torrid Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julin do some digging into what Dukat is planning.

                Garak smirked when he’d finally decoded the transmission. The encryption wasn’t really as complicated as it should have been if Dukat really wanted to cover his tracks, but Garak had always viewed Dukat as short-sighted.

“Find something?” Julian asked with excitement. Garak smiled at his beautiful lover who seemed unspeakably happy to be engaging in any kind of espionage.

“That man who came with Rugal and his father,” Garak tapped the screen where an image of the man in question was. “He had communications with Gul Dukat before arriving.”

“You traced the signal?” Julian smiled. Garak nodded. “So we can prove that he’s up to something.”

“Easily.” Garak said. “However, it doesn’t prove that whatever dealings he has are nefarious.” He put a finger to his chin and thought. “We could certainly have the constable bring in the man for questioning. But I imagine Dukat wasn’t so foolish as to employ someone who would break unless under extreme circumstances.”

“Maybe we should focus on what Dukat’s next steps would be if we hadn’t already become suspicious of him.” Julian suggested. “Why enlist an outsider to bring Rugal and his father to the station? It would make sense if he only wanted Rugal and he needed a kidnapper, but if he had no problem having them both here, then surely he could find another way to entice them.”

“Yes, bringing in another person is an uncertain variable…” Garak pondered. “Maybe he wants us to interrogate him? Wants him to reveal some deeper issue?”

“That’s it!” Julian almost made Garak jump with his sudden exclamation. “As of right now, what is the issue that Dukat has brought to our attention?”

“Cardassian orphans left behind after the war.” Garak supplied, curious as to where this was going.

“So what would Dukat need in order to get the orphans to Cardassia?” Julian asked. “Surely a simple bite on the hand of an exile wouldn’t be enough to push the Union to act.”

“It didn’t feel all that _simple_ to me.” Garak sniffed. Julian looked worried so Garak smiled. “Only joking, doctor.” Garak paused as he thought about what Julian said. “He would need support from Civilian leaders. While he has all the power he needs in the military, the topic of the orphans is a civilian matter.”

“Alright, so how does an orphan appearing on the station possibly motivate the Civilian leaders to do something?” Garak loved how Julian was asking him almost leading questions that one would ask a computer, but he was asking Garak because he had so much faith that he’d be able to answer all their questions.

“It doesn’t…” Garak said as he began to put the pieces together. “Unless it’s not about an _orphan_ and instead if it’s about Rugal!” He could be wrong, but it wasn’t that much of a stretch. “Perhaps Rugal is related to someone important? A war hero that is dead now, perhaps? If he were the nephew of Gul Darheel for example, Cardassia would be appalled to see him living among Bajorans. The Civilian leaders could potentially lose favor if they didn’t move to bring him home.”

“So what we need to do is test Rugal’s DNA to see who he could be connected to.” Julian smiled although Garak shook his head.

“That’s what Dukat wants us to discover.” Garak thought for a moment. “What we need to do is discover how Dukat knows of Rugal in the first place. Rugal isn’t important, what is important is discovering Dukat’s goal in all this.” Julian nodded slowly as he processed his words. “We should find out where Rugal was adopted to start off. We can go to one of the orphanages and search through their records system.”

“We should also tell Odo about the man who came on the station with Rugal and his father.” Julian added. “There’s a possibility he might give away something and if anyone can get it out of him, I’m sure it’s Odo.”

“Agreed.” Garak nodded. “I can bring this all to Odo’s attention, as I need you to get us a runabout.” Julian raised an eyebrow. “We’ll need to go to Bajor to discover where Rugal was adopted from and I feel like Commander Sisko is more likely to give you a runabout than a simple tailor.” Julian smirked at that description, but didn’t argue it.

“Just don’t hide anything from Odo.” Julian reminded. “He can’t help us if you withhold information.”

“Shall I tell him about our romantic involvement as well then?” Garak asked as if it were a genuine question.

“Suspicions about Dukat and our torrid affair hardly fall under the same category and you know it.” Julian scolded. “But if you really _want_ someone you can confide in, I won’t stop you if you feel that person can be trusted…” Julian bit his lip.

“My dear, your concern is precious.” Garak chuckled. “But do not worry, there are certain things I will keep to myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing like a good mystery to make these boys happy.


	28. Taught to Despise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian and Garak discuss Rugal

         Julian felt unsatisfied by the way things had ended with the whole Rugal situation. They’d discovered that a direct subordinate of Gul Dukat had been the one to deliver Rugal to the orphanage, and even provided his name, making his identity easy to determine without a DNA test. It wasn’t as if there were many Cardassian children of Rugal’s exact age and name to have gone missing at the same time. Sisko was able to challenge Dukat with the information they had learned, causing Dukat to simply end his transmission and not press the issue any further. Ultimately, Rugal and his adoptive father were free to leave the station. Everything stayed the same, but it still felt a bit wrong.

“Rugal’s biological father…” Julian began, rolling over to look at Garak. “He’s not even going to find out his son’s alive, is he?”

“I doubt Dukat will tell him.” Garak nodded. “I suppose we could contact Kotan Pa’dar ourselves.”

“But you said him admitting to having lost his son for years would be political suicide.” Julian bit his lip. “And we just made a clear enemy of Dukat, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so we need Pa’dar in a place of power.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that.” Garak smirked. “Of course, I agree, but you’re saying that it’s advantageous to keep a child away from his father.”

“Is he even his father anymore though?” Julian was genuinely asking. This situation was so complicated. “He saw a Cardassian, became terrified, and bit you. Would it really be a good idea to deliver him to Cardassia surrounded by strangers he’s been taught to despise?” Julian shook his head. “I honestly don’t know what would be best. I just know that every solution feels cruel to someone.”

“When you saw the children at the orphanage…” Garak said slowly, “And they asked if I had come to take them to Cardassia…”

“My heart broke.” Julian breathed. “I wanted to take them all away from there and give them a proper home.”

“First you suggest moving in together and now you want to adopt children?” Garak teased. “Honestly, doctor, do you move this fast in all your relationships?”

“Only the ones I’m serious about.” Julian smiled before letting out a sad sigh. “Do you think Bajor will ever be able to forgive Cardassia?”

“Do you think they should?” Garak asked in surprise.

“Not exactly.” Julian rested his head on Garak’s chest. “Though I like to think cooperation amongst all species is possible.” He then looked pleadingly in Garak’s eyes. He was in love with this man. He couldn’t deny it to himself as much as he had to deny it to Sloan. Having to hide their relationship was necessary, but at the same time it was incredibly painful. “But I want to walk on the promenade hand in hand with you. I want to visit your shop and give you a peck on the cheek while you have customers. I want to have you on my arm at diplomatic socials and whisper our criticisms about the ambassadors to each other.” He had a sad smile. “I want Bajor to forgive _you_ for whatever they think you did so we can truly be together.” There was a long silence as the two stared at each other until Garak whispered.

“Is this not enough for you?” It was a hesitant question, said so quietly that Julian almost missed it.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Julian said quickly. “I love you, you’ll always be ‘enough’ for me. More than that actually, it’s just…” He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I hate pretending, you know? Being in love with you feels amazing, it’s something beautiful and perfect that I wasn’t sure could ever happen to me.” Julian blushed a bit before giving a small shrug. “And despite all the variables and my flaws, you’re in love with me too. I’m proud of that, I want to tell everyone I meet that I’m in love with a wonderful man and he’s in love with me.”

“Your flaws?” Garak said, doubting. “What possible flaws could you be referring to? You’re perfection incarnate.”

“I talk too much.” Julian sighed.

“I adore a good conversation.” Garak countered.

“I’ve been told I’m…” Julian looked away a bit uncomfortably, “boastful and arrogant.”

“You have more to be proud of in your youth than most achieve in their entire lifetime.” Garak gently rubbed Julian’s shoulder.

“I’m human.” Julian said, though now he had a small smirk.

“You’re _beautiful,_ is what you are.” Garak moved to give Julian a kiss, he happily complied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The episode "Cardassians" is so incredible to me. I think it perfectly encapsulates what DS9 is all about. There's no happy ending, but you learn to live with it *cue Sisko drinking*   
> Would his life be better on Bajor or Cardassia? Honestly? I have no idea. He's kinda screwed either way.


	29. Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian arrives at Garak's shop after fleeing his horrible racquetball match against Chief O'Brien.

“Hello, Garak.” Julian walked into Garak’s store shaking his head in an absolutely appalling silver workout jumpsuit. “Do you mind if I hide out here for a little bit? I had to fake an emergency call from one of my nurses to get away from Chief O’Brien.”

“I imagine you fled due to the embarrassment of being seen in such horrendous attire?” Garak suggested. Truly, he couldn’t look away from whatever it was that Julian was wearing. It wasn’t that the colors were bad exactly, but the fabric texture combined with the cut and design of the jumpsuit itself was positively offensive. Julian looked down in confusion at his clothing.

“It’s not _that_ bad.” He argued before rolling his eyes. “Besides, exercise gear isn’t worn to look fashionable.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to be an eyesore, my dear.” Garak smiled. “Please, I actually have a suit I was going to gift you at a later time, but I think it’s necessary you change now.” Julian frowned before sighing in defeat.

“Alright, but only because I like that you made me a gift.” He smiled and placed his racquet down. “And I wish I could erase the whole experience I just had.” Garak handed him the clothing and allowed him to go into the changing room.

“Oh?” Garak asked as he picked up the racquet and studied it curiously. Garak understood the rules and basic mechanics of the popular Federation game, but he’d never actually held any of the equipment in his hands before. “You’d been so excited about the new court before.”

“Elim, you have _no_ idea.” Julian groaned from the changing room. “The Chief looked as if he would have a heart attack he was struggling so greatly.” There was a pause and then Garak heard Julian make a quiet exclamation of understanding, presumably since he’d just figured out how this new clothing was meant to be worn. “I mean, I’m the man’s doctor and I didn’t even realize he was this out of shape.”

“I sympathize with the Chief.” Garak smiled as he placed the racquet down. “I myself often have trouble keeping up with your youthful stamina.” Julian exited the changing room wearing the new outfit and his more horrid personal choice in hand. It was a simple dark blue color with a small circular pattern in a slightly lighter blue that descended vertically almost like pinstripes. The collar was edged with silver ribbon and came down in an asymmetrical point so as to reveal the doctor’s collarbones. Garak smiled and licked his lips at the sight.

“Better?” Julian smiled.

“Exponentially.” Garak hummed. “The sports shoes are a tad inappropriate for this ensemble, but at least their silver color compliments the edging of the suit.” He shook his head. “Despite that imperfection, you look radiant, my dear.” Julian darted his eyes around and took a step forward. “We shouldn’t risk anyone seeing.” Garak warned and Julian stopped himself.

“You’re right.” He sighed. “Anyway, the Chief kept insisting we play again and again until eventually I faked an emergency.”

“Did he at least put up a good fight, despite his struggling?” Garak asked. Julian ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Ah, I see.”

“He said we should do a _rematch_.” Julian groaned. “I don’t want to hurt the man’s pride. I would like to be friends with him someday.”

“Perhaps you and the whole O’Brien family should play doubles?” Garak chuckled. “If you were partnered with Molly that might be an appropriate disadvantage.”

“I know you’re joking, but that’s not a terrible suggestion.” Julian smirked. “If I were closer to the family, it wouldn’t be odd for me to propose it, but obviously that’s not the case.”

“Or…” Garak grinned as he felt the wheels in his mind turning. “You could convince the Chief it was his idea in the first place. He is a family man after all, how hard would it be to get him to invite his family along for a game?”

“Elim, are you honestly concocting an elaborate scheme over this?” Julian laughed.

“I’m merely trying to find a way to alleviate your suffering.” Garak said, putting his hands up in defense. “Far be it from me to interfere.”

“All you do is interfere.” Julian scoffed. “It’s essentially your entire personality.”

“You’re the one who came to me with your problems.” Garak reminded. “Don’t complain when I attempt to provide you with solutions.”

“Oh, I’m not complaining.” Julian smiled. “It’s one of the things I like about you.”

“If you _like_ me interfering, that’s practically an invitation.” Garak countered. “In which case, it’s not truly interference as much as requested assistance.”

“Call it whatever you like,” Julian grinned, “it’s damned infuriating.”

“If it’s infuriating, then why do you like me?” Garak raised an eye ridge in amusement. “Honestly, doctor, you’re making little sense.”

“I don’t like you.” Julian said, shaking his head. “I love you.” He sighed happily before he froze. Julian’s eyes were wide in shock and nervousness. It hadn’t been the first time they’d let their affections for one another slip out in public, but they’d never done it when other people were present. Garak thought this simple confession would be no different until he turned to follow Julian’s gaze. A scarf that had been off to the side was now morphing into the Constable. Odo had heard everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUNNNNNN!!!
> 
> I may have to take a break from posting this weekend because I am crazy busy but I still have one-shots from Tumblr I haven't posted so there should still be things that are posted.


	30. A Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odo brings the nature of Jullian and Garak's relationship to Sisko's attention.

“Constable.” Julian gulped. Had Odo made his smirk more intimidating? “I didn’t see you there.”

“That _was_ the idea.” Odo scoffed. “I must say, I’m disappointed in you, doctor.” Odo shook his head. “I’m not surprised, based on the frequent visits you pay each other, but this is hardly behavior fitting of a Starfleet officer.”

“We’re in _love_ , Odo.” Julian took Garak’s hand and glared at Odo firmly. It was true, but also, Julian couldn’t explain his mission to Odo even if he were alone with him. Odo wasn’t Starfleet.

“ _You_ may be, doctor.” Odo scowled and eyed Garak suspiciously. “It’s him I’m worried about.”

“Constable, please.” Garak said with hurt in his eyes. “I love Julian more than is wise. Our being together doesn’t violate any laws.”

“And yet you kept it a secret.” Odo harrumphed.

“We didn’t want to cause trouble!” Julian pleaded. “You know the Bajorans won’t approve of this.”

“Doctor, who you see is your business.” Odo said. “But Garak is a potential security breach and I will have to inform Commander Sisko about this.” That wasn’t actually that big of an issue, since Sisko already knew, but Julian couldn’t reveal that.

“I would never betray Starfleet or the Federation.” He said firmly. That was almost like a sacred pledge to Julian. He felt he always had to be morally and ethically perfect just to prove to himself that he wasn’t the next Khan Noonien Singh.

“Then you’ll have nothing to worry about.” Odo smirked. “Doctor, I’m not attempting to make your life difficult. You already did that when you began seeing a man like Garak.” Julian glared sharply at Odo. He wasn’t about to let insults like that slide.

“Odo, you can tell the entire station for all I care.” Julian said with an icy tone. “You can convince yourself it’s for station security, but the truth is that you know nothing about Garak and that scares you.”

“It’s my job to know who is a threat to this station.” Odo scowled. Julian was going to reply, begin to discuss the harmful aspects of species profiling and accuse Odo of doing just that. Of course Julian understood that Odo’s concern was justified, but it was hard for Julian to think dispassionately about the man he loved. He was ready to fight to the bitter end but Garak stopped him.

“Julian, the good Constable is _not_ the enemy here.” He said in a soothing voice before returning his attention to Odo. “Do what you have to do, Odo, we understand that it’s your job.” Julian shot a curious look at Garak. “We don’t know what will happen. We may get lucky and Commander Sisko may leave us be. And…” He paused and looked away uncomfortably. “If it helps, my dear, you can tell the Commander how I ended up here. But please…” He looked back at Julian with pained eyes. “Only if it’s necessary.” Julian was surprised Garak would allow him to tell the story of Barkan and the pain he’d suffered. Yes, it would make him sympathetic in the eyes of the Federation, but it was highly personal, made him a target for the Obsidian Order, and would have to be recorded in an official Starfleet log if Sisko was told.

“I promise, only if I have to.” Julian kissed Garak on the cheek before turning to Odo. “I suppose I should go with you to Commander Sisko’s office. Get it over with.”

“It would save time.” Odo nodded. Julilan studied Odo again and tried to calm himself down. It was highly possible Odo wasn’t being a bigot, he wouldn’t be wrong to be suspicious of Garak. Julian was just so protective of this relationship and anyone who dug deeper could not only find out about Julian’s mission, but that he’d been compromised.

“Well, I suppose I should change again.” Julian sighed. “I wouldn’t want to be out of uniform for my own court-martial.” Julian knew that wouldn’t be the case, but he had to act as if he were more terrified.

“Go to your quarters and change while I make my initial report to Commander Sisko.” Odo huffed. Julian was a bit annoyed by Odo’s impatience, but not surprised. He nodded, kissed Garak again, and left.

            When Julian arrived at Ops, he received glances from both Dax and Kira. Chief O’Brien was still off-duty and therefore not present. Kira looked particularly wary as Julian walked up the steps.

“Doctor, wait!” The Major said as she rushed over to him. “Did…” She bit her lip and glanced around to make sure the other staff wasn’t listening too closely. “Did Odo find out?” Julian nodded. “He came in here telling Sisko he needed to talk about you in private,” she glanced at Dax, “we connected the dots.”

“Benjamin will understand, I’m sure of it.” Dax said with a smile. It was a good line. Of course she knew that Sisko was already aware of the relationship Julian had with Garak, but she played along as if she didn’t and reinforced the idea that Sisko would be forgiving so it wouldn’t be as surprising when he was.

“Well, I hope you’re right.” Julian sighed. “I better not keep him waiting.”

“Good luck.” Kira said with a firm nod, making it clear that it was a serious wish.

“Thank you.” Julian smiled appreciatively and then headed into Sisko’s office where the Commander sat behind his desk and Odo stood on the other side.

“Come in, doctor.” Sisko nodded and waved a hand for Julian to enter. Julian let the door close behind him and stood at attention. “The constable has informed me about your personal life.”

“What he’s said is true, sir.” Julian nodded, keeping his eyes focused forward. He needed to continue the act of a young lieutenant who had no idea what would happen to his career or his romantic relationship at this moment. “I am involved with Elim Garak.”

“You two make an interesting pair.” Sisko leaned back in his chair with a smirk. “I can’t say I saw it coming.”

“Remember how I antagonized him at first and didn’t realize that was considered flirting to Cardassians?” He said with an embarrassed smile. Sisko nodded, recalling that lie he was in on from about a year ago. “When I _was_ made aware I went to apologize to Elim and we started talking about it and…” Julian shrugged with a sigh. It was _almost_ an accurate description of how he and Garak had first slept together. It was far more innocent and believable than the idea that he came on the station with the intent to seduce Garak. The story was all for Odo’s benefit after all, since this was old news to Sisko.

“Well, doctor…” Sisko sighed. “This _does_ explain the help he’s provided us.”

“Help?” Odo asked in surprise.

“He requested to remain anonymous, but I see no issue in telling you Constable.” Sisko nodded as Odo raised his hairless brow. “Garak is the one who tipped us off about the Duras sisters assisting Tahna Los, plus you’ll remember his involvement in our recent dealing with Gul Dukat and that boy, Rugal.” A look of understanding came over Odo’s face.

“Ah…” He breathed. “When he involved himself then I assumed it was just his own dislike of Dukat.” Odo smirked and glanced over at Julian. “But you’re saying Garak’s fondness for the doctor has prompted him to help Starfleet more than once.” It looked like Julian was going to be able to get Odo’s approval as well! However, it would be suspicious if he accepted the tone of this conversation.

“Commander, you’re not suggesting I _manipulate_ Elim, are you?” The irony was not lost on Julian and he was certain it wasn’t lost on Sisko either. “I won’t use the man I love like that.”

“No one’s asking you to.” Sisko put up a hand to stop any further protests. “I’m merely pointing out that your relationship may have yielded some unexpected benefits.” He smiled at Odo. “Personally, I see no issue with this outcome. Do you, constable?”

“If it doesn’t violate any Starfleet regulations.” Odo nodded. He really didn’t seem to care either way, but he was going to do his job completely. “But I still wouldn’t trust Garak.”

“As long as Dr. Bashir understands that he can’t give Garak classified information,” Sisko glanced at Julian who nodded vigorously, “and you continue to monitor anything suspicious with your usual vigilance,” now his gaze was directed at Odo who gave a solemn nod in assurance, “then I think everything is fine.”

“Understood, sir.” Odo nodded.

“Thank you, sir!” Julian said happily. “Sir…” Julian paused, thinking. “Does this mean that Elim and I can be public about our relationship?” Sisko leaned forward and picked up his baseball.

“Now that’s a bit more complicated.” He sighed as he turned the ball in his hand. “The Bajorans may not take kindly to that. Then again, since the failure of the Circle, there’s been more of an effort to prove the tolerance of Bajor.” He looked at Bashir. “It’s a risk, but if you want to take it, I won’t stop you. Just realize that it’s something _you_ will have to deal with. Not Starfleet, Odo, or me.” He gave a small grin at Julian.

“Of course, sir.” Julian smiled.

“Dismissed.” Sisko nodded. With that, Julian left both Odo and Sisko in the Commander’s office feeling like the happiest man in the quadrant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaand we're back!
> 
> Sisko is a really good space dad and I love him, okay?


	31. Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak is terrified of what might happen to his future with Julian and turns on the wire.

              Garak found himself pacing around his shop once Julian left. Even _if_ Julian truly loved him (which Garak still couldn’t understand) and was adamant about that in the face of Odo, Garak couldn’t imagine Julian would continue the relationship if his commanding officer ordered him to cease and desist. Julian might never speak to Garak again and Garak wouldn’t blame him if he did. What would Garak do if Julian felt he had to end their involvement? Not only had he been tasked by Tain to seduce Julian and discover whatever he was hiding, Garak was in love with Julian.

               He couldn’t stand the anxiety and all the negative outcomes whirling around inside his head, so he turned on the wire again. The pleasure that washed over him immediately put a smile on Garak’s face. It would be hard without Julian, but he would survive. He always found a way to survive. _I’ll give my life for Cardassia._ Garak had said once. _No._ Tain responded. _An operative is no use to me or Cardassia dead. You must be willing to give someone else’s life for Cardassia._ Garak had proved his willingness to execute on behalf of Cardassia several times, but he also made sure to keep his own life so that he could continue to serve. Garak repeated in his drug induced mind the thing that made him turn on the wire in the first place: _you must survive._

“Elim?” Garak opened his eyes. He didn’t remember sitting down and he hadn’t even heard Julian walk in. But there Julian was with an eager smile. “You seem happy.”

“As do you.” Garak responded. “Though I was merely attempting to meditate and calm myself down in light of recent events, I hope you actually have some good news?”

“I’m taking you to Quark’s.” Julian grinned. Garak noticed that Julian was wearing the suit he’d made him again, meaning he’d stopped at his quarters a second time to change. “We’re going on a date.” Garak stood up and raised an eye ridge.

“A covert one, I imagine.” He said, fishing for information. “Unless you’re claiming that we are going to let others know of our involvement.”

“Elim Garak.” Julian began with a grin. “Would you please officially be my boyfriend?”

“Commander Sisko is alright with this?” Garak asked in disbelief.

“He felt it was only fair since you helped us with the Duras sisters and Rugal.” Julian took Garak’s hand. “So?”

“The Bajorans won’t like it.” Garak warned. Obviously Julian hadn’t thought this through.

“Some will, some won’t.” Julian shrugged. “I don’t care honestly.”

“My dear, I would be honored to be seen as your lover.” Garak smiled. He cupped Julian’s cheek in his hand and brought the young man in for a long kiss. “Quark’s?” Garak whispered when the kiss broke. Julian nodded and then took Garak’s arm and led the way.

                  Garak wasn’t surprised by the stares they received, but he was surprised that they weren’t all in complete and utter disgust. A decent amount of the Bajorans certainly didn’t look pleased but most others just looked surprised and then averted their gaze. It was hardly worse than the glares and scowls Garak usually received on a day to day basis. Then again, even if it was horrible, Garak couldn’t be bothered. He had Julian Bashir on his arm and he still had the wire activated. Garak was essentially living in a moment of pure bliss.

                  When they arrived at Quark’s, however, they were the ones surprised. The bar was almost completely empty, though Morn had stayed put, and Quark seemed to be the only member of staff. There were no glamorous Dabo girls and even Rom was nowhere in sight.

“Welcome, welcome! Come on in!” Quark essentially cheered as he scurried over to the pair.

“Where _is_ everyone, Quark?” Julian asked in confusion.

“Club Martus.” Quark grumbled. “It’s a kitschy establishment that won’t last another week, don’t waste your time.” His quick dismissal made it obvious that he was actually very intimidated by this Club Martus. “People act as if Mazur is a better listener because he’s an El-Aurian, but who’s always been there for you but Quark?” He gave that toothy grin and motioned to himself. “Come sit at the bar and tell me all your troubles.” Garak shot an amused look at Julian who rolled his eyes.

“We really just want to drink _alone,_ Quark.” Julian raised his and Garak’s joined hands with a proud grin.

“You two…?” Quark gasped and began pointing between the two of them. He didn’t say anything else but just let his eyes remain wide as he studied them.

“Blue Kanar, if you don’t mind.” Garak smiled as he moved toward a booth. He and Julian sat next to each other and looked at Quark expectantly as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.

“Coming right up.” Quark nodded, though he clearly still wasn’t over the shock. He walked back over to the bar but bumped into it as he kept glancing back at them together.

“ _Blue_ Kanar?” Julian smirked. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“It couldn’t hurt.” Garak shrugged.

“As a doctor, I feel it necessary to point out that it absolutely could.” Julian smirked again. “Just don’t expect me to drink much.”

“A pity.” Garak shook his head. “I thought you’d finally grown to like Kanar.”

“I _do_ like it.” Julian corrected. “Now that I’m used to the thickness. The issue is that it’s so strong yet so sweet. I don’t realize how much alcohol I’ve had until it hits me all at once.”

“I promise to carry you home if you become a slobbering mess.” Garak vowed while putting his hand to his heart.

“I’m not sure I trust you.” Julian smiled and narrowed his eyes. “There’s no telling what you’d do in my quarters with me unconscious.”

“Julian!” Garak protested with a laugh. “ _Honestly_.”

“Nothing indecent.” Julian said with a shake of his head. “But I’m afraid you’d set my wardrobe on fire in the name of ‘fashion’.” Garak actually liked the sound of that idea and it must have shown on his face because Julian then laughed. “Elim, _no_.”

“Fire would be a bit drastic, but I could make a few adjustments…” Garak thought.

“Elim, if you mess with my clothing without my permission, I will…” Julian tried to think of something but instead just scowled. “Anyway, it’s much more fun when we _both_ remove our clothing.” He purred and placed a hand on Garak’s thigh. Garak instinctively darted his eyes around but then remembered that they were allowed to be seen.

“Your Kanar, gentlemen!” Quark announced, he’d obviously regained his composure. “Any dinner this evening?”

“Plomeek soup for me.” Julian nodded.

“Regova eggs.” Garak ordered. Quark grinned and then rushed off again. “He must be incredibly desperate for customers to not be pestering us any more about our relationship.”

“Or he’s up to something.” Julian suggested with a smirk. “Quark often is.”

“As entertaining as his schemes usually are,” Garak picked up his glass of Kanar. “I can’t find it in me to care tonight.” He gave a warm smile to Julian and the two clinked their glasses before drinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post last night! Got caught up in a lot of stuff. My next two weeks are a little nuts but I will try to continue with regular updates. 
> 
> Comments and kudos if you enjoy! :D


	32. Give Them a Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian find themselves to be the bar's latest attraction.

                      The night may have been more pleasant if Quark’s had remained vacant for the rest of their date, but things never went simply on Deep Space Nine. Quark had placed flowers and a candle on the table. Julian and Garak had shared devious grins due to what happened last time someone brought a candle over to their table, but other than that, Julian didn’t think about it. That was, until other customers came in.

“They’re not very subtle, are they?” Garak pointed out, breaking Julian out of his rambling.

“Who?” He glanced around and then immediately knew what Garak was referring to. The varied species on the station were almost all focused on Garak and Julian’s table. More accurately, they were focused on Garak and Julian. “Oh.”

“I believe Quark has turned us into his bar’s latest attraction.” Garak frowned. “He’s making a spectacle of us.”

“Distasteful.” Julian sighed. Why couldn’t Quark have just left it alone?

“Poor taste seems to be a Ferengi characteristic.” Garak mused. “Have you ever had Slug O’ Cola? It’s revolting.”

“You’ve _had_ it?” Julian laughed.

“I have many regrets.” Garak said sadly before smirking. “Do you want to leave?”

“And where would we go?” Julian sighed again. “The point of this was to be seen, just not be the center of attention.”

“True, but if you’re uncomfortable it’s hardly worth it.” Garak gave Julian a warm smile. “I understand.”

“Actually…” Julian smirked. “Maybe we should give them a show?”

“I am _not_ about to take you on the promenade.” Garak said sternly. Julian chuckled.

“First of all, this isn’t the promenade, this is Quark’s.” Julian grinned. Garak was obviously unimpressed. “But I think this audience doesn’t need us to go quite that far.” Julian purred and leaned forward, placing his hand on Garak’s thigh. “For example, if I raise an eyebrow while in this position…” Julian did so. “And lick my lips…” Again, he demonstrated. “I imagine they’ll be holding their breath in anticipation.”

“Well, it would be cruel to keep them waiting.” Garak smiled as he moved in to kiss Julian. Julian grinned through the kiss because there was definitely an audible gasp from the onlookers. However, he made a point to push forward and act as if he only was aware of Garak in this moment. When he broke away, he had to resist the urge to look at the reaction. He’d been wanting to reveal his relationship with Garak for so long and they certainly weren’t going to be able to turn back now!

“I love you.” Julian whispered in Garak’s ear. “We have a whole year’s worth of dates to make up for.”

“What’s a first date with you like?” Garak asked. “I mean, before you’ve already claimed the person as your own.”

“Oh, usually I just try and impress whoever it is with my best stories.” Julian chuckled. “But I think you already know all of those.”

“Then lie to me.” Garak grinned. “Tell me a story that will get me into your bed. Whether it’s true or not isn’t important.”

“That may be the most you statement I’ve ever heard.” Julian smiled. “But I suppose I could tell you the story of how my life changed forever.”

“Oh?” Garak smirked.

“I fell in love with a Cardassian.” Julian said as he gave Garak a sideways glance. “And suddenly the only opinion I cared about was his.”

“What happened to him?” Garak smiled.

“He stayed overnight in my quarters for a week?” Julian asked hopefully. “I made it worth his while…” He purred. Garak grinned and shook his head.

“I’m sure.” He chuckled. “But I imagine he didn’t let you leave his arms that entire week.”

“One can only hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Quark's gotta turn a profit, amirite?
> 
> How the hell has this fic gotten so long?? I just... wow.


	33. Bad Luck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after their "first date," Julian had accident after accident.

“This has not been a good morning for you.” Garak observed as Julian stood there looking in dismay at the breakfast he’d somehow dropped all of on the floor. “First you trip out of bed, then your replicator acts oddly, and now this.”

“Thank you, I hadn’t noticed.” Julian replied sarcastically as he knelt down to begin picking up pieces of a broken plate. “Stay there until I’ve cleaned this up, I don’t want you to cut yourself.” Garak smirked. It would hardly matter, considering he had the wire, but even without it he was made of sterner stuff than humans.

“My dear, I think my scales can handle it.” He sighed as he got up and moved to help Julian. “I don’t know why you insist on doing everything yourself all of a sudden anyway.”

“Because I’m trying to show that I care, Elim.” Julian said with an amused glare. “I like doting on you.”

“And I certainly like being doted on.” Garak smiled appreciatively. “But honestly, at this rate I’m afraid you’re going to really hurt yourself.” Once Garak had a handful of ceramic shards he stood up and offered his hand to Julian. When Julian tried to get up with Garak’s assistance, however, he lost his balance and brought Garak crashing down on top of him. Garak looked into the surprised brown eyes beneath him and sighed as a warmth rushed over him. This face was certainly his own personal paradise.

“Elim, you’re bleeding!” Julian gasped. Garak hadn’t even realized that when he fell he dropped the ceramics and one piece grazed his cheek. The wire had only made Garak feel soothed and happy though. Julian wriggled out from underneath Garak but banged his head against the wall as he sat up. “Ow! Dammit…” He grumbled before heading over to the bedside table. “I’ve got a dermal regenerator.” He said as he took the device out of the drawer. He went back over to Garak but once he tried to heal the scrape, the device didn’t work. .Julian looked at it in confusion and tried again, still nothing. “It doesn’t seem to be turning on.” Julian said in surprise. Garak didn’t know of Federation dermal regenerators to have low battery lives.

“Let me see.” Garak held out his hand and Julian gave him the regenerator. Garak moved to heal his own wound and the device worked perfectly. “Did you not press the correct button?” Garak teased.

“It wasn’t working!” Julian protested. Garak gave him a skeptical look. “Oh, shut up, Elim.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Garak teased and handed the regenerator back to Julian.

“But your face speaks volumes when you want it to.” Julian pouted before standing up. He placed the regenerator back in the nightstand before offering his hand to Garak now. “Let’s try this again.” Garak took the hand but he couldn’t help himself. He purposefully brought Julian to the ground so that the young man was lying on top of him.

“Oops.” Garak smirked. He then moved his hand down Julian’s back and fondly rubbed his rear. “How clumsy of me.” He then used his other hand to lift Julian’s chin. “This is an interesting position for us to find ourselves in.”

“Elim…” Julian breathed before wincing. “You’re not going to believe this…” He groaned before giving a pained expression. “But I think I sprained my wrist.” Garak’s eyes widened and he sat up quickly but made sure to carefully handle Julian.

“My dear, I’m so sorry!” He said when he touched the wrist in question causing Julian to wince again and pull away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Just bad luck.” Julian shook his head and exhaled through his teeth. “Now, if you don’t mind, can you help me get to the infirmary?” Garak nodded vigorously as he brought Julian to his feet. “Thanks.”

“I’ll get you a shirt.” Garak said before opening Julian’s drawer and quickly pulling out a dark green wrap shirt. “This will be easier to get on since you don’t have to pull it over your head.” Garak turned and opened the shirt and allowed Julian to put it on himself.

“You don’t have to come with me or anything, but mostly it’s hard to put my boots on with only one hand.” Julian chuckled.

“Would you rather go alone?” Garak asked as he retrieved the two boots from their places around the room. He didn’t care either way if he joined Julian there, there had been a promise of the two of them spending the whole week together after all. Garak could understand if Julian wanted to keep his work environment at a bit of a distance from the spectacle they’d made of themselves last night.

“Whatever you’re more comfortable with, honestly.” Julian smiled as Garak helped him get his boots on.

“I should really open up my shop, to be honest.” Garak sighed. “Though I’ll only do a half day.” He smiled.

“Alright.” Julian nodded. “Once I get this fixed I might as well start my shift anyway. Then we’ll do lunch and see where the day goes from there?” He grinned hopefully.

“I look forward to it.” Garak said as he walked to the door with Julian. “But I must ask…” He smirked.

“Oh no, I don’t like that look.” Julian said, shaking his head. However, his smile made it clear he was looking forward to whatever Garak was about to say.

“I’m simply wondering how you’re going to explain your sprain to your staff.” Garak said as if it were an innocent thought. “After all, the whole station is now aware we were together last night.”

“I’ll tell them I sprained it from rubbing your cock too fast.” Julian said rolling his eyes. Garak had to stop moving and simply widened his eyes. “Elim, you really have to stop trying to tease me with sexual insinuations. It’s much easier for me to shock you with dirty talk than the other way around.” Julian laughed to himself. Garak loved how Julian would accept his little flirtatious challenges with such delight.

“I love you.” Garak said while shaking his head. “Now stop being ridiculous and get your wrist fixed.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That awkward moment when you have bad luck for space reasons.


	34. Love is Grand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian has to talk to Nurse Jabara and Chief O'Brien about his relationship.

“Dr. Bashir!” Nurse Jabara said in surprise. His shift didn’t start for another hour and he was out of uniform, but Julian also suspected she might have been announcing his presence loudly to warn anyone who was undoubtedly gossiping about him.

“I sprained my wrist.” Julian admitted sheepishly with a smile. “I swear, I’m not trying to micromanage you.”

“We’ve had a lot of minor injuries today.” She said as she grabbed a hypospray. “The infirmary has been flooded with sprains, small breaks, and cuts.” She injected the hypo against Julian’s wrist and immediately Julian felt better. He sighed at the relief.

“Garak had a scrape this morning as well.” Julian said absently as he rubbed his wrist. Nurse Jabara’s eyes widened for a moment and then she looked away with a blush. “You can ask about us, you know.” Julian smirked. She gulped nervously but said nothing. “We didn’t get injured having sex if that’s what you’re worried about.” He laughed. That startled her, but it also seemed to put her at ease as she shook her head with a smile.

“You’ve gotten everybody talking.” She admitted. “It wasn’t exactly expected.”

“Surely it’s not all that surprising.” Julian said. “After all, we constantly were eating lunch together and spending time with one another.” Julian hadn’t actually spent all that much time with other people on the station. He’d had a playful work friendship with Dax that became closer only when he started talking to her about Garak and a working respect with Kira that, again, only became more meaningful when she learned about his intimate relationship. He liked Sisko a lot, but he was always his superior officer and therefore it would be difficult to be friends with him. This was one of the main reasons Julian was so happy to play racquetball against Chief O’Brien at first. He thought he’d finally cultivate some friendships, but it ended up being a miserable experience.

“I suppose it was just unthinkable to us.” Jabara shrugged. “Our beloved doctor with a Cardassian.”

“He’s really very sweet.” Julian pointed out, though he knew Jabara wasn’t bigoted, she was just explaining the atmosphere.

“I’ll take your word for it.” She nodded. “He makes lovely clothes.” She then flashed a smile at Julian. “You’re an adult, I trust you.”

“Thank you.” Julian sighed. “I’ve got a spare uniform in my office, I’ll change and then start my shift early.”

“We could use the extra help.” Jabara sighed. “Honestly, I’ve never seen so many unlucky people in one day.” Julian thought about pointing out that a few minor injuries was not as unlucky as the occupation that she undoubtedly had seen, but that seemed like it would be in poor taste. Instead, he simply nodded and headed into his office to change.

                         Jabara had really not been exaggerating about the slew of patients arriving again and again at the infirmary. It was beginning to grow a bit tedious, fixing sprains, scrapes, and simple breaks over and over again. There were a few nasty bruises that people came to have treated, ones that Julian would normally contact Odo about since people rarely actually tripped into getting a black eye, but it seemed today was the exception. A few of the patients made light conversation and attempted to bring up Julian’s new relationship with Garak, but most were incredibly awkward about it. There was one young Bajoran man that confessed in a hushed voice that he preferred sex with Cardassians, to which Julian had to give a customer service type smile as if he hadn’t suddenly been made uncomfortable. Still, no matter how odd the interactions could get, Julian found them more amusing than anything else. However, when Chief O’Brien walked in, Julian was terrified to hear his opinion.

“Hello.” The Chief said with a nod. “I heard your centrifuge has been giving you some trouble.”

“Ah, yes,” Julian sighed, “the damn thing’s been running me around in circles.” He waited for a reaction to his small joke, but he received none. “It’s not the most important piece of medical equipment so if you don’t have the time now it can wait.” He wanted to give the Chief an out. Julian wanted the man’s approval but his anxiety was telling him that O’Brien wanted nothing to do with him. Then again, O’Brien essentially told him that himself.

“I’m already here.” O’Brien shrugged and walked over to the machine. “I heard you had an interesting night last night.” He said as he began taking tools out of his box. Julian blushed a bit, it would be harder to explain to O’Brien. Not only was Julian looking for his approval, the Chief had fought against the Cardassians and was hardly sympathetic to them.

“I suppose everyone’s heard by this point.” He sighed. “You’d think my personal affairs would hardly warrant special mention on a station like this.”

“ _Your_ personal affairs, maybe.” O’Brien grumbled. “I think you and I both know it’s Garak that made people notice.”

“It’s not like we haven’t spent time together in public before.” Julian countered. Of course he knew this situation was different, but he wanted to gage the Chief’s feelings on it a bit more.

“The word is that this time you two were doing a little more than just spending _time_ together.” O’Brien was looking at the centrifuge machine with his tricorder. Julian wanted him to just come out and say what the issue was instead of living in innuendo. It was obvious the Chief was curious, so why couldn’t he just ask?

“To answer your question, Chief: yes, we had sex.” Julian said, rolling his eyes. He might as well get that out in the open. “It wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last.” Now O’Brien looked incredibly surprised.

“It wasn’t the first time?” He blinked.

“Oh, right…” Julian chuckled. “I suppose that would have looked like a first date to most people.” He sighed and let his shoulders drop. “We’ve been seeing each other for over a year now, Chief.” O’Brien put the tricorder down to give Julian his full attention.

“That long?!” He said in surprise. “Christ, Julian, this isn’t just some odd fling?” Julian inhaled and prepared himself for an argument.

“I’m in love with him, Chief. Simple as that.”

“There’s nothing ‘simple’ about any of this.” O’Brien shook his head. “That’s a risky move. It could endanger your Starfleet career, you know.”

“I know.” Julian sighed. “But the heart wants what the heart wants, eh?” He gave a sad smile. “I’m lucky that Commander Sisko gave me the all clear.”

“It’s not just this posting.” O’Brien looked more concerned now. “There are plenty of admirals and other higher ups that can make your life miserable. You might not get another promotion or any kind of honors.”

“I don’t care about any of that.” Julian said, shaking his head. “All I’ve ever wanted was to be a doctor. Well, I’m CMO of DS9, I don’t need a promotion.” He then ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, I’d like to make full lieutenant one day, but not at the expense of losing Elim. And as for awards, medals really aren’t what matter in medicine. When I save someone’s life, I get more respect from them than I ever would by showing them a piece of metal.”

“Huh.” O’Brien said as he looked Julian up and down. “I figured you for a more ambitious type.” He then quickly clarified. “At least wanting to move up the ranks, I mean.”

“I used to be to a certain extent.” Julian shrugged. “Then I fell in love with Elim. If I have to give those things up so I can be with him, it’s really not a hard choice.” O’Brien nodded slowly as he seemed to study Julian.

“Love is grand, isn’t it?” O’Brien said with a small smirk.

“Yes, it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew! Sorry my updates gotta a little out of sorts there. That time in the semester :/


	35. Voyeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak takes Julian to Quark's for lunch.

“Why Quark’s instead of the replimat today?” Julian asked as Garak guided him from the infirmary to lunch.

“Because Quark has promised our meal free of charge.” Garak smirked. “If he’s going to exploit our image, we might as well exploit him right back.” Honestly Garak was still uncomfortable about all the stares they received and the whole concept of such public displays of affection, but if he turned it into a contrarian type game it was more palatable. Besides, he knew that Julian wanted to share their relationship with the public, so he wasn’t about to hide away and deny Julian that which he wanted.

“I should have known there was an ulterior motive.” Julian shook his head with a laugh. “Keep thinking like that and Quark may make you a business partner.”

“I have little interest in that.” Garak scoffed. “I don’t play well with others.” He smirked before taking Julian’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “But speaking of playing with others, are you going to have to do a rematch with the Chief?”

“Probably.” Julian sighed. “But I told him how I promised you a full week’s worth of romance, so he knows it’s not happening all that soon.”

“I’m happy to provide you with an excuse.” Garak nodded as he guided Julian to a table for two off to the side.

“Won’t Quark want us to be more center-stage?” Julian teased when he sat down.

“It’s better to have us seem unaware that we’re being watched.” He brushed back Julian’s hair and then lightly stroked his cheek. “Everyone likes to feel the thrill of spying.” He let his hand move to Julian’s lips.

“And how would you know?” Julian held his mouth open slightly so Garak’s fingertips slipped in a bit. “Are you a bit of a voyeur yourself?”

“I don’t mind looking when the subject is so beautiful.” Julian really _was_ beautiful and Garak thought about how lucky he was to have him. But now everyone knew of their love, it was bound to go south. Garak captured Julian’s mouth in a slow and passionate kiss. Garak had to discover what Julian’s secret was, except now it wasn’t to provide Tain with information, but to keep Julian safe. It was then that Julian’s com badge chirped.

“Dax to Bashir.” Julian sighed and gave Garak an apologetic smile when the kiss broke.

“Bashir here.” He answered.

“We need you in Ops right away.”

“Understood.” Julian groaned. He got up and looked sheepishly at Garak. “Bad luck.”

“It’s quite alright, my dear.” Garak rose from his seat as well. “Let me walk you to the turbolift.” Julian smiled at that and the two departed, ignoring the frustrated look they got from Quark for not providing a longer show for his paying audience.

“I’ll come find you once I’m done?” Julian asked.

“I look forward to it.” Garak smiled. Julian kissed Garak on the cheek before entering the turbolift.

“Ops.” Julian sighed as the turbolift took him away. Garak found himself sighing as well. That would not do. He had to be more in control of his emotions if he was going to properly protect Julian. He needed to figure out what Julian was hiding, not get distracted by the young man’s dimples or that twinkle in his eyes.

                   Garak tried to gather what he knew. He knew Julian was uncomfortable with his own humanity in some way. Garak no longer believed Julian was non-human, but it was possible he had non-Federation sympathies or perhaps was raised by non-humans. Garak also knew that Julian hadn’t always wanted to be in Starfleet, which could play into the idea of non-Federation sympathies. However, Julian seemed to be very proud of being a Starfleet doctor now, so something wasn’t adding up. He needed to bounce his ideas off of someone, someone who was more detached and was inconsequential. Someone clever enough to make interesting deductions, but not clever enough to discern anything harmful as long as Garak shrouded the information in enough lies and innuendo.

              It was then that Garak looked across the Promenade at Club Martus. It wasn’t doing nearly as well as it once had been, but it wasn’t deserted. Mazur himself, the El-Aurian, was tapping his fingers on the bar and looking as if he were trying to conjure up a new scheme. Garak smirked as he eyed this perfect candidate for his current predicament. He entered the club, exhaled as if he were a man heavily troubled, and went to the bar.

“Orange Kanar, please.” He made sure to look relatively glum, someone who could use a sympathetic ear. Someone a con-man would mistake for an easy mark.

“On the house.” Mazur smiled with a grin that was so genuine it somehow circled back to being oily. “You seem like you could use it.”

“Oh, I won’t bother you with my woes.” Garak dismissed as he took a sip. “No one wants to listen to me.”

“I’m an El-Aurian.” Mazur smirked. “Listening is what I do.” And so Garak began to work through his puzzling lover in the abstract and vague concept of a “friend,” while dangling a carrot over Mazur, pretending he also needed to figure out what to invest in next.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know more about the El-Aurians tbh...
> 
> comments and kudos if you enjoyed!


	36. Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian spend the night together before Julian goes off on an extended mission.

“I can’t believe you agreed to such a boring and tedious mission.” Garak scoffed as he wrapped his arms around Julian. Julian had almost fallen asleep in the post-coital bliss of it all when Garak’s cold hands made him shiver from behind. “Sorry, my dear.” Garak soothed and kissed Julian’s cheek.

“Mm,” Julian sighed and rolled over so he was facing Garak, even though he kept his eyes shut. “Helping the T’Lani and Kelleruns disarm after a century long conflict is important.” He mumbled, too tired to really have the conversation.

“Yes, yes, but the process itself of figuring out how to disable the harvesters is beneath you.” Garak insisted. “You’re a brilliant doctor, not a waste extractor. The T’lani and Kelleruns should dispose of their weapons themselves.”

“Sh, sh, shush.” Julian opened his eyes slightly and put a lazy hand over Garak’s mouth. “I’m too tired to argue now.”

“I’m not trying to argue, my dear.” Garak said, clearly not interested in dropping the issue. “I’m merely pointing out that this is a diversion from your more important work. If it were only a day or two, I’d forgive Starfleet’s wasteful Bureaucracy, but you’ll be working on this project for an indefinite amount of time.” Julian opened his eyes fully and looked at Garak confused.

“Elim, are you just upset I’m leaving?” Garak said nothing and Julian smiled. “You _can_ just say you’ll miss me, you know? I’ll make sure to do the work as quickly as possible so I can get back to you.” Julian nuzzled his face into Garak’s shoulder.

“This has nothing to do with me.” Garak grumbled. “I just think it’s a pointless mission, that’s all.”

“It might be nice for me to get away from the excitement on DS9 though.” Julian sighed. “Even though Mazur is gone and the station’s back to normal, Quark is still exploiting our relationship.”

“Is Quark what’s chasing you away?” Garak asked in surprise. “Say the word and I’ll snap his neck.” Julian looked at Garak again and laughed.

“You’re ridiculous, Elim.” Julian wrapped his own arms around Garak and squeezed him for a moment. “I promise to send a transmission to you every day, alright?” He smirked. “Besides, they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ so it might even make us love each other more.”

“What masochist says that?” Garak scoffed.

“No idea.” Julian shrugged as he closed his eyes again and clearly tried to go back to sleep. “But don’t you like food more when you’re hungry?” Julian asserted. “It’s the same principal.”

“You’re saying I’ll want to eat you when you return?” Garak ran a hand through Julian’s hair. “As delicious a meal as I’m sure you would provide, I’d rather just have your company.”

“Mm,” Julian squirmed himself a bit closer to Garak so that his face was essentially buried in Garak’s chest.

“Don’t go.” Garak whispered. Julian looked up at Garak who was now averting his eyes. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Julian smiled warmly and then placed his hand on Garak’s cheek. “I promise.”

“I shouldn’t be this needy.” Garak sighed.

“Trust me,” Julian chuckled. “I don’t want to go either.” He frowned. “I wish you could come with me, but that’s really not appropriate.”

“Yes, and considering how the Chief isn’t even taking Professor O’Brien, I doubt your Cardassian lover would get to join.” Garak gave a sad smile. “I’ll manage, I just wish I didn’t have to.”

“I love you.” Julian traced Garak’s orbital ridge. “And I’ll still be in love with you when I get back, alright?”

“Alright.” Garak nodded. “I love you too.”

“Now can I _please_ sleep?” Julian smirked. Garak simply smiled and kissed Julian on the forehead, not saying another word the whole night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak is a needy lizard, but he doesn't like to admit it.
> 
> Comments and kudos, friendos~


	37. Absence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sisko calls Garak and Keiko into his office to tell them what happened aboard the T'lani cruiser.

               Garak’s heart sank when he was brought into Sisko’s office and he saw Keiko O’Brien sitting there already. There was only one thing Garak and Keiko really had in common, their significant others were dealing with the harvesters. Julian had been hopeful in his last message, saying he felt they were close to figuring out how to completely dismantle the weapons, Garak supposed it was foolish to think they’d be done in just a week. Now Commander Sisko probably had to inform them that doctor and chief would have a more extended stay.

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Sisko began with a sigh, “there was an accident on the T’lani cruiser.” Garak felt his heart break. The rest of the words, the explanations and condolences, the shock from Mrs. O’Brien, Garak didn’t hear any of it. All he could hear was his own mind tormenting him over and over again with the words: “he’s dead.”

“Commander…” Garak finally said as he put a hand to his head. The wire was still on, he’d been keeping it on again while Julian was away, but that still only dulled the pain of the news a bit. “No.” He simply shook his head. “No, he…” Garak didn’t know what he was trying to say.

“I wish this wasn’t true.” Sisko said sadly. Garak studied his face. The man had lost his wife and the pain of that seemed to resurface in this moment. The news was true, Sisko’s face said it all.

“You said there was a recording…” Keiko whispered. Sisko looked at her surprised and nodded slowly. “I’d like to see it.”

“Are you sure?” Sisko asked. She nodded.

“I need to see it as well.” Garak added quickly. He needed to get anything he could to remember Julian by. He had no pictures.

“If that’s what you both want.” Sisko nodded. “I will transmit the footage to your personal consoles so that you can view it with some privacy.” Garak exited the office alongside Keiko and tried to ignore the sympathetic looks that were quickly averted. Garak stood in the turbolift next to Keiko and they both were silent for a moment, letting the turbolift remain still.

“Habitat ring.” Garak finally said when he realized they weren’t going anywhere. Keiko blinked at the sound of his voice and then gave him an awkward smile and then gulped. She faced forward again and bit her lip. “I’m…” Garak stopped himself. What was he going to say? “I’m sorry for your loss”? How would that be helpful? Then surely she would feel pressured to say the same thing to him and the whole thing felt hollow. Instead, he just let one word hang there and tried to ignore Keiko as she looked at him expectantly.

“Me too.” She said finally when it was clear Garak wasn’t going to continue. “Me too…” She repeated more quietly. It was so vague, those two words, yet somehow it perfectly echoed what Garak had wanted to say to her. It essentially said “I feel everything you’re feeling right now and I wish this was all a bad dream.”

“Thank you.” Garak breathed and there was silence again. When the turbolift stopped, the two of them exited and went opposite ways. Garak was relieved to be alone once he got inside his quarters but at the same time, he would give anything to not truly be alone.

                    Garak couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary in the recording. In fact, it was almost painfully mundane. What had Garak been expecting? That Julian would be talking about how much he loved Garak in the workplace? That Starfleet would have missed some glaring flaw that proved their officers were alive? Garak knew better than to keep false hope alive, and yet he found himself doing so as he watched the recording again and again.

“Keiko to Garak.” Garak was incredibly surprised to hear that voice call him over the com system.

“Yes?” He answered dumbly.

“I think…” She paused on the other end. “I think the recording’s a fake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garak hates himself too much to pick up on the truth that Julian is still alive, but Keiko knows her husband (well, maybe he does drink coffee late but who cares, she's a damn good wife)
> 
> Sorry this was posted so late and that it's so angsty ;-;


	38. Makes the Heart Grow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Keiko take their suspicions to Sisko and an unexpected guest arrives on the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY, I'M BACK OH MY GOD!!!
> 
> Vacation ended and I just got around to going through all my comments and stuff on here and now I'm ready to start posting again! Yay!

                    Garak and Keiko had watched the recording together several times and Keiko asserted that Miles would never have caffeine as late as he’s shown to in the footage. That glimmer of hope, that small amount of doubt cast on the situation, it seemed it was all Garak needed to begin deconstructing the entire thing. Julian’s hair was parted on the wrong side. It seemed like such a small detail, but Garak cursed himself for not noticing it sooner. It could be nothing, it probably was nothing, and Garak knew that he and Keiko were probably grasping at straws, but he didn’t care.

“You’re sure?” Sisko said when they brought their theory to him.

“I know my husband, sir.” Keiko said firmly. Garak envied her resolve and certainty. Sisko glanced between the two of them and then nodded.

“Alright.” He said, putting a finger to his chin. “I’ll look into the matter. Hopefully we’ll bring them home soon.” Sisko actually seemed to have faith in what they were saying, which gave Garak more hope. He was so used to a powerful authority figure like Sisko being the one to shoot down any potential happiness. Garak was about to thank the Commander when the doors to the office slid open.

“Commander Sisko,” a shorter human male approximately Garak’s age said. He was dressed in an admiral’s uniform and did not look happy. “I need to speak with you.” The man seemed livid and completely unconcerned with the fact that he just burst into Sisko’s office and interrupted a meeting.

“Of course, Admiral Sloan.” Sisko said with gritted teeth. “If you’ll excuse us?” He asked to Keiko and Garak. Garak began to usher Keiko out, as he knew when to make himself scarce.

“They’re _alive,_ Commander!” Keiko exclaimed, obviously worried that her concerns were about to be shelved. “We have to act as quickly as possible.” She bit her lip when she saw Admiral Sloan’s surprised expression on her.

“Who’s alive?” Sloan asked before narrowing his eyes. “Dr. Bashir?” Sloan looked to Sisko with new intrigue, as did Garak to Sloan. Why would this admiral be distracted from whatever he came in about over the possibility of Julian being alive? Even more unusual, why did he only ask about Julian and not Chief O’Brien as well?

“There’s a possibility that the Chief and Dr. Bashir may still be alive.” Sisko said carefully. “Professor O’Brien and Mr. Garak were just bringing me their doubts about the recording the T’Lani sent us.” This was the first time Sloan glanced at Garak, though there was no studying of his face. It was as if Sloan was simply casually looking at someone he already knew.

“Professor O’Brien,” Sloan softened with a smile, “I’m sure we’ll do everything possible to bring back your husband.” That seemed to put Keiko at ease a bit. Sloan then looked at Garak with new curiosity, though Garak wondered how sincere it was. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe I know you. I’m Admiral Luther Sloan.” He held out a hand which Garak took cautiously.

“Garak.” He said simply. No need to use his full name with this suspicious man. “I was…” He paused as he thought of how to describe his relationship with Julian. “Close to Dr. Bashir.” He ended on. Sloan gave a slow and knowing nod. “Well, we won’t delay your work any longer.” Garak said quickly and then looked to Keiko.

“We’ll contact you if there is any news.” Sisko said and Garak and Keiko exited.

“I guess all we can do now is wait.” Keiko sighed when they entered the turbolift. “Do you think they’re out there?” She asked Garak with wide eyes. It was the first time she allowed herself to show any doubt.

“They have to be.” Garak nodded. Garak needed Julian to still be alive. His interaction with Sloan was nagging at him, though. “The admiral’s entire demeanor seemed to change when he heard of the possibility.” Garak pointed out. Keiko simply nodded, as if she weren’t really listening. “He seemed particular worried about Dr. Bashir.” Garak added.

“You call him ‘Dr. Bashir’?” Keiko said with a small smirk. Garak shook his head, more to ignore the distraction than to explain that he more frequently used ‘Julian’.

“What interest does the admiral have in Julian?” He wondered aloud. “What business does an admiral have in any of this, for that matter?” The admiral had to have only just arrived, or else Garak would have known he was on the station, which meant his arrival lined up with the news of O’Brien and Julian’s deaths, not the mission itself. It was beneath an admiral to oversee funeral preparations.

“He’s probably here on other business.” Keiko explained away.

“That still doesn’t explain why he only showed immediate concern for the doctor.”

“They might have a personal connection.” Keiko pointed out. “It’s possible Admiral Sloan was the one who wrote Dr. Bashir’s letter of recommendation for the academy.” It _was_ possible, but was that the truth? Julian had mentioned he had connections to an admiral only once before, and he specifically had said that Sisko was intimidated by Julian’s connection to him. It couldn’t be familial, they looked nothing alike, so who was this man?

“Well,” Garak sighed as if the whole thing wasn’t still bothering him, “I suppose I’ll just ask Julian when he comes back.” He flashed Keiko a smile which she returned. Any reassurance that Julian and the Chief were alive was greatly appreciated by both of them. However, Garak’s mind was still on the mysterious Admiral. He welcomed the distraction of a good mystery, and he intended to solve this one.


	39. Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is finally home and he, Sloan, and Garak all end up in a room together.

                    Julian sat in his office and sighed. O’Brien would live and they were safe. Now that the immediate danger was taken care of, Julian realized how hungry he was and how badly he needed a shower. He also wanted to find Garak and honestly just be held for a bit and his tired brain was having trouble figuring out what to do first. That was when Sloan walked in.

“Admiral!” Julian hurried to his feet in surprise. He didn’t even know Sloan was on the station.

“You gave us quite a scare.” Sloan said with a wry smile. “Good to see you home safe.”

“It’s good to be back, sir.” Julian nodded.

“And your mission here hasn’t suffered.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, like Sloan knew something. “Mr. Garak was extremely worried about you.”

“Was he?” Julian smiled. “That’s a good sign.” He quickly added, trying not to seem too fond of Garak.

“Yes, it is.” Sloan nodded before studying Julian. “Has he given you any more information on Enabran Tain since your last message?”

“No, sir.” Julian shook his head. “Just the information about Dukat and Barkan’s assassination.”

“Yes, and that did check out.” Sloan nodded. “He didn’t mention Barkan’s wife and child though.” Julian was surprised to hear that Garak’s lover had a family.

“No, he did not.” Julian blinked. “He may simply be uncomfortable with that aspect, affairs are hardly Cardassian.”

“Maybe…” Sloan thought and licked his lips. “Continue to get any information you can, but I think it’s time for us to move into phase two.”

“Phase two, sir?” That was unnervingly ominous.

“Get him to defect.” Sloan nodded. “His knowledge could be vital.”

“I’ll get to work on it right away, sir.” Trying to convince Garak to defect was hardly a bother for Julian, he didn’t want to push Garak, but this would allow them to truly have a life together.

“Good.” The door to Julian’s office opened and there stood Garak in the doorway. He looked surprised to see Sloan, but then schooled his expression back into a calm and pleasant smile.

“Excuse me,” He smiled. “I wanted to welcome you back, doctor.”

“Oh, don’t be shy.” Sloan smirked. “Jules told me you’re dating.” Sloan gave Julian a friendly smack on the back. Julian winced at the nickname and the whiplash he had just received from Sloan’s change in demeanor, but he played along and gave Sloan a familiar smile.

“You two know each other well?” Garak asked.

“Old friend of the family.” Julian smiled. It was a believable lie and easy to act. “Luther is close to my parents.” Since Garak knew that Julian wasn’t close with his parents, it made sense that he wouldn’t have mentioned Sloan previously.

“Well, I should send a transmission off to them!” Sloan exclaimed. “You had us worried, young man.” Sloan began to exit and then nodded to Garak and waved goodbye to Julian. Julian gave a small wave back and he was at last alone with Garak.

“Friendly man.” Garak noted. Julian sighed.

“A bit too boisterous for me while I’m in this state.” Julian rubbed his eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

“But you’re alive.” Garak split into the fondest grin Julian had ever seen him give. Julian dropped his shoulders and looked at Garak with a small smirk.

“Come here, already.” He said, motioning with his finger. Garak was then immediately holding Julian and their lips crashed against each other’s.

“ _Never_ do that again.” Garak warned.

“Trust me,” Julian chuckled, “I don’t intend to.” He sighed wistfully and smiled at Garak. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Garak said as he ran a hand through Julian’s hair. “Absence _did_ make the heart grow fonder, but it also grew more desperate and pained.”

“I’m just glad it didn’t break.” Julian cupped Garak’s cheek. “I thought about you the entire time. I love you so much.”

“Would you like to, perhaps, continue this conversation in one of our quarters’?” Garak asked suggestively. Julian was about to answer when his stomach decided to growl instead.

“I’m rather hungry.” Julian admitted with a blush. “And, I’ll be honest, once I have a good meal in me, I’ll probably pass out, I’m so tired.”

“Then let’s go to your quarters, get you some food, and some rest.” Garak then wrinkled his nose awkwardly. “Hopefully we’ll be able to work in a shower for you as well.”

“I can’t even be mad at you for that.” Julian chuckled, knowing he smelled awful. “Will you stay the night, Elim?” He asked hopefully. “I feel safe in your arms.” He blushed slightly, worried he sounded vulnerable and weak.

“Then in my arms you’ll be.” Garak vowed and kissed Julian’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. GUYS. THIS FIC WAS A LITTLE JOKE I MADE ONCE WITH NOONEKNOWSIWRITETHIS HOW DID I GET HERE???
> 
> Honestly, this fic has been an unexpected treat for me and I'm glad it's gotten such a good response! Comments and kudos if you enjoy~~~~~~ :D


	40. Pursuing A Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak asks about Sloan while he and Julian eat breakfast.

“Is Luther Sloan the Admiral you mentioned when we were effected by that alien archive?” Garak asked nonchalantly as they ate breakfast in Julian’s quarters. “The one that intimidates Sisko?” Julian looked up in surprise and then nodded. “I figured as much.”

“I don’t like using the connection, honestly.” Julian said uncomfortably. “But he’s rather fond of me.”

“How do your parents know him?” Garak asked. It wasn’t as if Julian’s parents were in Starfleet, and Garak’s own research on Julian revealed that he moved around several times growing up, so it’s not like Sloan could have lived in the same area as them consistently.

“I honestly don’t know.” Julian shrugged. “He’s just always been ‘Uncle Luther’ to me.” Julian shook his head. “I told you I’m not close with my parents. He’s their friend, not mine.”

“You don’t like him?” Garak found Julian to be oddly avoidant of the topic.

“No, I just don’t have a close bond with him.” Julian shrugged again. “He would send me birthday gifts and mess up my hair when I was little, that’s honestly it.” Julian sighed. “We only reconnected a bit when I enrolled in the academy. I think he’s flattered that I also decided to join Starfleet.” All of this did make sense and could easily be true, so why was Garak doubting it? Was he just so paranoid that an innocent explanation of an old family friend seemed like a sinister concept?

“Well, he certainly seems to like you.” Garak said with a smile as if he accepted the story.

“He _is_ a good man.” Julian sighed as he went back to his breakfast. “I just associate him closely with my parents, I guess I’m a bit cold to him.”

“He doesn’t seem to notice.” Garak chuckled. “When I first met him, he seemed positively livid and stormed into Sisko’s office. He immediately softened when he heard you might be alive.”

“I should thank him for coming.” Julian said with a sad smile. “The fact that an Admiral would be willing to drop everything and come to DS9 because of my death? It’s honestly very meaningful.”

“I suppose he was representing your family.” Garak nodded. “Does he have any children of his own?”

“I don’t think so.” Julian shook his head. “I guess I’m the closest thing he has to that...” Julian looked thoughtfully. “I’m not sure he’s even married.”

“You don’t know?” Garak said with an amused look. “You’re not much of a nephew to your ‘Uncle Luther,’ are you?”

“I suppose I could try to reach out more…” Julian shifted in his seat a bit.

“What you do is your business.” Garak shrugged. “I’m not trying to imply that you need to change your behavior.”

“No, I know.” Julian nodded. “But this isn’t the first time I’ve felt guilty for not keeping in better touch with him.” Julian gave a small smile. “It wouldn’t kill me to send a transmission now and again.”

“If you think you’d like that, I support you wholeheartedly.” Garak said with a smile. “It’s also helpful to have an Admiral who supports our relationship in the fleet.” That was also suspicious to Garak. Could Admiral Sloan really just be so tolerant and accepting? “He could bolster your career. You could end up on the _Enterprise_ or some other sought after exploratory post.” Julian bit his lip and fell silent. “What is it, my dear?”

“If I were to take a posting on a starship…” He whispered. “I’d be able to bring family on board after a year.” Julian looked at Garak with hesitant optimism.

“Are you proposing, my dear?” Garak breathed.

“If it were a post as sensitive as the _Enterprise_ , you would have to become a Federation citizen as well to remain on board.” Julian didn’t answer the question and simply blushed. “Would you be willing to do that?”

“The advancement of your career hardly requires my companionship.” Garak deflected. Of course he would happily travel the stars with Julian, how could he refuse? He’d be able to leave this horrid station, experience new things, and living on a Starship would mean he wouldn’t need latinum and therefore wouldn’t have to work. But most enticing would be the idea of being married to Julian.

“I can’t imagine pursuing a future without you.” Julian leaned forward and placed his hand on Garak’s. “I’m not proposing anything right now exactly,” He gave a small smile. “But think about it?”

“Think about defecting to the Federation?” Garak scoffed as if he wasn’t desperate to say “yes” right then and there.

“Think about being _with_ me.” Julian glanced at their hands and smiled fondly. “That’s where I hope this relationship goes someday.”

“That sounds lovely.” Garak admitted. He couldn’t just accept. He had to keep some sort of distance, he had to look this gift horse in the mouth. “Which ship strikes your fancy? The _Enterprise?_ The _Lexington_?”

“I’ll admit, I’m happy to stay on DS9.” Julian paused and then gave Garak a small smile. “But, if I were a married man, I would want to go somewhere my partner enjoyed.”

“That’s very generous of you.” Garak said. “On Cardassia, a military career takes precedent and the spouse must adjust accordingly.”

“Well, we’re not _on_ Cardasia.” Julian reminded. “And, seeing how my spouse would become a Federation citizen, they would adhere to different principals.”

“And what’s the Federation custom?”

“Compromise.” Julian smiled.

“Ah, that way no one is happy and both parties are miserable.” Garak smirked. He had to try and quell the romance a bit, or else it threatened to overwhelm Garak and he would succumb to its allure.

“I’d rather be miserable with you than cause you to be miserable alone.” Julian said immediately. He was looking deep into Garak’s eyes. Garak felt the warmth of Julian radiating from his brown eyes and from the soft touch of his hand. “Making you happy is the most wonderful thing I can do.”

“Surely saving lives and reattaching limbs is a bit more important.” Garak smiled. Julian shook his head.

“No, you’re not dismissing me that easily.” Julian smirked. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sloan told Julian to get Garak to defect after all.


	41. What's Your Secret?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak and Julian are absolutely enamored with one another. Garak wants to know more about Julian so he can protect him.

“You’re absolutely wonderful.” Julian sighed, derailing Garak’s train of thought. The young man was so blatantly love-struck, it was almost embarrassing. He had his face in his hand, his eyes slightly hazy, and a large and goofy smile all directed at Garak. It was positively disgraceful.

“Honestly, doctor, I’m attempting to educate you on the significance of Kardasi calligraphy and you sit there swooning and ignoring every word I say.” Garak shook his head. “It’s insulting.”

“Perhaps your lecture would be more engaging with visual aids?” Julian smirked. “After all, we’re discussing a medium based in aesthetics.”

“That’s what _I’m_ discussing.” Garak corrected. “You haven’t said a word in the past twenty minutes.” Julian smiled with a sigh.

“I’m sorry if I’m lousy company.” He yawned. “To be honest, I’m rather tired so I’d rather just listen to you talk.”

“You are never ‘lousy company,’ my dear.” Garak reassured. “Though I never tire of hearing your thoughts, so your silence is a bit tragic.” Garak put up a hand and shook his head. “Nevertheless, I understand that you’re tired, so I shall endeavor to carry the conversation myself.”

“We should have had lunch in my quarters.” Julian groaned. Garak’s eyes widened and Julian laughed. “No, just to eat, but then at least I could grab a few minutes of sleep as well.”

“I assume it’s too late now?” Garak asked.

“I have a half hour until I have to be back at the infirmary. It’s not worth heading to my quarters now for, what? Twenty minutes of shut eye if I fall asleep right away?”

“You’re welcome to lie down in my shop, if you’d like.” Garak offered.

“No, I’ll muddle through it.” Julian stood up as he shook his head. “I’m going to get a refill of my tea though, want anything?”

“I’m alright, thank you.” Garak smiled. “But, my dear, this isn’t the replimat. This is Quark’s.” Julian ran his hand over his face and sat back down. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Obviously I’m in desperate need of this caffeine.” Julian motioned for one of the Ferengi waiters to come over and ordered his refill. It was brought over to him almost right away. “I need to wake myself up.” He slapped his face lightly before taking a sip of his drink.

“What were you doing that kept you up last night?” Garak asked. “I actually went to your quarters around 23:00 and you didn’t answer. I assumed you were asleep.”

“And you didn’t just break in?” Julian smirked. Garak had actually considered it, but decided he needed to let the young man sleep as well as practice his own restraint if he was ever going to be able to survive this relationship. “Well, in truth, I was in the infirmary last night.”

“Working late?” Garak asked. Julian nodded. “And I imagine it was a task that a nurse could do, but you simply had to take it upon yourself to do everything.” Garak shook his head. “Honestly, Julian, you work too hard.”

“You’re the one who brought commissions to dinner the other night.” Julian grinned. “I was afraid you were going to stitch me up for talking, you were so focused.”

“I needed to get the work done.” Garak shrugged. “And that client was particularly stressful. I was trying to get her out of my life as quickly as possible.”

“And did you?” Julian asked. Garak sighed.

“Unfortunately, she liked the finished product so much that she threatens to become a regular customer.” Garak groaned. “My point is, working too much is always a bad thing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julian grinned. Garak studied his love and had to resist becoming a sighing fool himself. The young man was perfect as far as Garak was concerned and he needed to protect him.

“What’s your secret?” Garak asked blatantly. Julian essentially flinched awake.

“What?” He said with a nervous laugh.

“You’re hiding something.” Garak said. This was hardly the most graceful way to get the information Garak wanted, but somehow Garak felt he could simply ask. Maybe that was particularly foolish of him, but Garak did believe Julian’s love for him was real. If that was true, Garak suspected that Julian may even yearn to tell him his secret, as Garak yearned to tell Julian all of his.

“Elim, I promise you, I was just working late.” Julian seemed to relax, but the new alertness in his once tired eyes made it clear that he was now on edge. “If you’re paranoid that I might be stepping out on you or something, well…. Don’t be. I would never do that.” It was a clever diversion tactic: purposefully jump to the wrong conclusion so that Garak would focus on a possibility that wasn’t even being examined.

“You’ve been hiding something since I first met you.” Garak narrowed his eyes. “I intend to find out what it is.”

“Can’t a man have secrets?” Julian said in a joking manner.

“Of course, but you think about yours constantly, or at least when I see you.” Garak explained. “So it’s either something to do with me, or something so internalized, you can’t even breathe without thinking about it.”

“Maybe it’s both?” Julian chuckled, though he was still clearly nervous. “What secret could I possibly be hiding?”

“I’ve been struggling with that since the early days of us seeing each other.” Garak conceded. “I assure you, Julian, whatever it is, it’s safe with me.”

“Let’s say I _do_ have a secret,” Julian frowned and leaned back in his chair, “it’s not as if I’m the only one in this relationship who does.”

“Oh, I’m not criticizing you for lying.” Garak smiled. “In fact, it’s rather charming.” Julian turned his head and looked at Garak suspiciously. “I only want to know what you’re hiding so I can help you protect that secret.”

“That seems counterintuitive, to share a secret.” Julian argued. “The less people who know, the better.” It was intriguing to Garak, how Julian wasn’t denying having a secret at all, but simply dismissing the need to tell Garak.

“You don’t trust me?” Garak smirked. Julian furrowed his brow and looked away.

“’Three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead.’” He mumbled. Garak grinned.

“I quite like that!” He declared. He still wanted answers, but he didn’t want to scare Julian away and he definitely understood the need for caution. “Who said it?”

“It was either Franklin or Churchill, I’m actually not sure.” Julian admitted.

“So you’re not certain of everything.” Garak said. “So how can you be certain I’d betray you?”

“I’m not certain.” Julian gave himself a small self-deprecating laugh. “I actually _do_ trust you, as much as I trust anyone, I mean.” Garak tilted his head questioningly. “And it _would_ be nice to confide in someone.” He gave Garak a small, hopeful look. Garak simply smiled at him. They didn’t break eye contact for a long moment before Julian blinked and shook his head. “I have to head back to the infirmary.”

“Of course.” Garak sighed. “Will I see you later?” He asked while the two rose from their seats.

“My quarters or yours?” Julian smiled as he began walking down the spiral staircase. “We could do dinner?” He seemed so uncertain, as if Garak would ever deny him anything.

“I look forward to it.” Garak smiled as they arrived on the main floor of the bar.

“Until then.” Julian grinned and pressed a kiss to Garak’s lips while Garak pressed their palms together in Cardassian fashion. Then Julian was off to work again and Garak was left to hope he hadn’t ruined everything. He would have spent the rest of his hours fretting over how he most certainly had pushed Julian away, but before leaving the bar, he spied three Cardassians sitting with Quark.


	42. Transgressions and Faults

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian tells Garak his secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently, everyone! We'll be returning to regular updates now :D

                          Julian was wringing his hands as he waited for Garak to open the door. He yearned to tell Garak everything about himself but he also found it terrifying. The door slid open and Julian gulped as Garak smiled at him.

“Are you alright, my dear?” Garak’s face was wearing an innocent and unassuming expression, which meant he was probably nervous about whatever Julian was going to say.

“I’ve been better.” Julian sighed with an awkward smile. “May I come in?” It was odd to ask at this point in their relationship but somehow Julian didn’t feel he should just enter.

“Of course.” Garak blinked, obviously surprised by the question. “We _do_ have a dinner appointment, after all.”

“I love you, Elim.” Julian said earnestly once the door was closed behind him.

“…but?” Garak tilted his head and looked at Julian warily. Julian shook his head.

“No, that’s all.” Julian bit his lip. “You think I have a secret.”

“I _know_ you have a secret.” Garak corrected. Julian nodded.

“I just…” He was so conflicted about everything. “I don’t want you to think I don’t love you. It’s _because_ I love you that the very idea of telling you is terrifying.” Julian found himself guided to the couch where the two of them sat down.

“My dear, there’s nothing you could tell me that would make me love you less.” Julian had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. It was so easy to promise devotion when transgressions and faults were unknown. But how would Garak react if he knew Julian was a freak? How would he react if he knew Julian was a spy? “This secret…” Garak began, “you’re uncomfortable with your humanity somehow.” Julian looked at Garak in shock. “I’ve deduced that much.” Garak explained.

“You’ve been watching me closely.” Julian scoffed. So it was _that_ secret Garak was uncovering. The one closer to Julian’s heart, but less of a personal deceit against Garak himself.

“You don’t have to hide from me.” Garak said as he placed his hand lightly on Julian’s knee. “I love you.” Julian shifted away from Garak’s touch. Garak probably viewed the motion as a rejection, but it was actually then that Julian knew he was going to tell Garak about his augments.

“I’m a freak.” He said, looking down at the floor. He hadn’t wanted to pull away, but he couldn’t let Garak hold him. If Julian was being held by Garak, it would only hurt that much more when Garak inevitably pulled away in horror. “My parents…” How was he even supposed to explain what had been done to him? He’d never told anyone before so he had no idea how. “My parents brought me to a facility when I was six.”

“They did something to you?” Garak prompted with a whisper. Julian nodded. “And because of that, you don’t consider yourself human?”

“Do you know about the Eugenics War?” Julian deflected. This was difficult enough, he hardly wanted to go into how he viewed himself as a monster.

“I know it was a harrowing time for Earth.” Garak shook his head. “Not much else.”

“Do you know about Khan Noonien Singh?” The most famous augment of them all. Julian shivered whenever he heard the name.

“Ah…” Garak said simply, signifying he now understood. “You were genetically enhanced?” Julian nodded. “Which is illegal in the Federation…” Julian looked at Garak, who seemed to be mulling over the information.

“They say that enhanced ambition and arrogance comes with everything else.” Julian said. “That’s the theory, anyway.”

“Ah, yes, and you’re the most ambitious of them all.” Garak chuckled. “You voluntarily took the least glamorous post imaginable and chose to enter into a relationship with a man who could destroy your career simply for being too politically risky.” Garak smirked. “You make the worst career choices in order to somehow grab unspeakable power? Diabolical.”

“You don’t…” Julian blinked. “You’re not afraid of me?” Garak laughed.

“Julian, the only thing I’m afraid of is that you might one day come to your senses and leave me.” Garak hesitantly reached for Julian and now Julian happily moved into the touch. “And I’m afraid of how much I love you, but I could never be afraid of _you_.”

“Elim…” Julian breathed as a grin spread across his face. “Marry me.”


	43. Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Garak's past makes him question his loyalties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, it's been a day. (Those of you who follow me on tumblr should know) I just want to say this right now: I am sick to death of anti-Semitism and anti-Semites best be ready to CATCH THESE HANDS.
> 
> *sigh* anyway. Back to this gay ass shit in space.
> 
> Ahem, drama ahead!

                 Garak was arranging a display in his store when he noticed a loose thread. It was easiest to just rip it with his teeth, which is when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

“Toran.” It wasn’t a question. Garak’s luck would have Toran seeing him at his lowest.

“It’s _Gul_ Toran now.” He grumbled. Garak turned around with an amused expression.

“I suppose congratulations are in order then.” He smiled with absolute falseness. “I hope this promotion didn’t set you back too greatly. I’ve heard they’ve become more costly lately.”

“More than you could ever afford, _traitor._ ” Toran spat. That word stung more than Garak would admit.

“If you’ll recall, I’m the one who contacted Central Command about the _real_ traitors.” Garak bit back. “Now are you going to collect them or do your new duties require you harass a loyal citizen?” Garak wasn’t really a citizen anymore, but the point was that he would never betray Cardassia.

“A loyal citizen of the Federation, perhaps.” Toran scoffed. “Suggesting a prisoner exchange already implied that you’d grown soft, but now I hear of your impending…” He smirked and wrinkled his nose, “ _nuptials_.”

“If you’re bitter that you haven’t received an invitation, we haven’t even set a date yet.” Garak sighed. He had only accepted Julian’s proposal last night and they had only told Dax. Then again, that was the only person you needed to tell for information to suddenly become common knowledge. “Now, is there anything else you wanted?”

“I want _nothing_ to do with a traitor.” Toran said with a dark finality before he turned and left. Garak quickly went to his work table and used his device so that the wire was having a more powerful effect. The enhanced pleasure washed over him and yet there was still a horrible feeling in his stomach. A wrenching in his gut that would not be ignored. Garak felt guilty. He felt that he _was_ a traitor to Cardassia. He had learned Julian’s secret, but he hadn’t told Tain, as per his mission. What kind of man turns his back on his planet and people? On his own _father_ even? 

                Garak would have continued to torture himself on the subject if Julian hadn’t just walked in.

“What did he want?” Julian asked immediately, referring to Toran.

“You’re being rather nosy.” Garak scoffed with a smile. Julian blushed and gave a sheepish smile.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. “I was trying not to bother you all day but I somehow kept finding myself near your shop.”

“You’re always welcome to ‘bother’ me.” Garak said as he walked over to Julian. “You’re my fiancé.” Julian’s face split into an absolutely ridiculous looking grin.

“You’ll still have me?” Julian seemed almost like a child he was so gleeful.

“I _did_ say I’d marry you.” Garak smiled and gently placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “I don’t have any plans to back out now.”

“I love you.” Julian grinned and then gave Garak a kiss. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you’re happy.” He pulled Garak in to kiss him again.

“My dear, while your enthusiasm is appreciated,” Garak said as he pulled away, “you are making a fool of yourself.”

“Do you remember when we first met?” Julian asked, clearly undeterred. “How shamelessly we flirted?”

“As if it were yesterday.” Garak nodded. “I could not have predicted then that you would want a more serious relationship.”

“I’m off work for a few hours…” Julian said suggestively. “Want to…?” He let his words trail off and licked his lips. Garak chuckled at how this young man, the love of his life, was so blatantly obvious when he wanted something badly enough.

“My, you’re frisky today.” Garak sighed. “I suppose I might as well indulge you.” Garak also just wanted to block out his mind from thinking. He wanted to ignore how far he was from Cardassia and the fear that what Toran said about him was true.

“How generous of you.” Julian smirked and then wrapped his arm around Garak’s waist.

“We’ll go to my quarters, I think.” Garak said firmly.

“No workplace fun today?” Julian jokingly pouted. “Are you afraid of someone walking in?”

“I’m afraid of security bursting through the door if they hear the noises you’ll be making.” Garak purred in Julian’s ear, earning a shiver. “And I’d really rather not have interruptions.”

“Then let’s hurry up and go.” Without waiting for a response, Julian began to drag Garak to the turbolift. He was practically sprinting the two of them across the promenade in giddy delight.

“ _Honestly_.” Garak sighed once they were in the turbolift. “You’re so impatient.”

“I can’t help it.” Julian shrugged as he stepped up against Garak. “You agreed to marry me and now nothing can bring me down.”

“Hmm,” Garak scoffed. “Challenge accepted.”

“Going ‘down’ on you does not count as bringing me down.” Julian said with a laugh. “What I mean is, I couldn’t be happier.”

“Nor could I.” Garak lied as he brought Julian in for a passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toran getting inside Garak's head is never a good thing.
> 
> Hate to ask, but positive comments are highly appreciated today because god the internet is toxic and I hate people right now.


	44. Latest Development

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian discovers that Garak has been scheming a bit behind his back.

 

                     Julian panted as Garak finished him off and then stood up with a proud smirk. Somehow the sex had only gotten better from Julian’s perspective and he wondered if this was how all couples in love felt. He couldn’t imagine this was that common of a feeling as this warmth he felt seemed almost custom made for him. Julian was hopelessly in love alright and he was grinning like an idiot.

“You’re incredible.” Julian breathed with a grin. “ _God,_ that was good.”

“Referencing a deity is certainly new for you.” Garak chuckled. “So I suppose I really did do a good job.”

“Were you satisfied?” Julian asked, a bit worried. “Before, I mean?”

“You couldn’t tell?” Garak smirked. “I wasn’t exactly subtle.”

“I just want to make sure.” Julian smiled. “I don’t think you realize how great that was just now.”

                      Garak opened his mouth to say something when his door chime rang out. Garak and Julian exchanged looks and Garak began to move toward the door but Julian grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“I’ll get it.” Julian said before moving to put his trousers on. “People know we’re dating, if they see me shirtless they’ll get the idea that they should maybe come back later.”

“You really have no shame, do you?” Garak laughed.

“We’re _engaged_ , Elim.” Julian reminded with a grin. “This won’t surprise anyone.” Garak didn’t argue and Julian went to the door to see Quark standing behind it when it was opened. “Quark?” Julian asked.

“Uh, Dr. Bashir!” Quark exclaimed nervously, taking in the sight of a Julian that had obviously just been thoroughly fucked. “I…” He moved his mouth for a bit without any sound coming out before he finally let out a small, awkward laugh. “I’m sorry, I have an appointment with Garak.”

“No, you don’t.” Garak said, fully clothed now as he also came to the door. “I already gave you the mended gown you purchased.” Garak narrowed his eyes at Quark. “Something _wrong_ with it, perhaps?”  The way Garak said it, Julian could tell this “gown” was some sort of euphemism.

“I suppose you might as well come in, Quark.” Julian groaned as he stepped aside and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “Let me just get my damned shirt.” Julian walked off into the bedroom without looking at Garak. Julian knew it was petty to be passive-aggressive, but was Garak up to something with Quark and hiding it from Julian? They were going to be getting _married_ and Julian had just told Garak his most damning secret! It didn’t seem fair but Julian hardly felt he could confront Garak on it while Quark was around. Julian threw on his lilac undershirt with a huff before walking back into the main room.

“Surely you don’t want to stay and listen to us talk shop, dear?” Garak asked with a pleasant smile when Julian sat down on the couch and looked at him and Quark expectantly.

“I don’t mind.” Julian essentially bit back with a glare.

“You know what, Garak? It can wait.” Quark said with a frantic smile and he quickly exited before anyone could say anything more.

“May I ask what you’re suddenly so angry about?” Garak asked, crossing his arms.

“What did Quark want?” Julian asked.

“I don’t know, you scared him off before he could tell me.” Garak frowned. “I certainly don’t mind being alone with you again, but you seem positively livid and I don’t know what caused it.”

“You mended a _gown_ for Quark?” Julian asked with a click of his tongue.

“Ah.” Garak nodded. “I believe it was a gift for his Cardassian lady friend.” Julian raised an eyebrow, prompting Garak to continue and Garak sighed and moved to sit next to Julian. “I may have advised him to stay away from her during the sale.”

“Did you know she would be arrested?” Julian asked with all seriousness.

“I…” Garak paused and gave Julian a pained expression. “I reported that Professor Lang and her students were here to Central Command.” Julian tilted his head, he knew there had to be more to the story. “I suggested the prisoner exchange.”

“Elim…” Julian said, biting his lip. “Why exactly would you do any of that?” Garak remained silent. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” Julian shook his head.

“Are you angry with me?” Garak whispered, giving Julian a fearful look. Julian didn’t say anything and went back into the bedroom. He put his uniform jacket on and placed his communicator back over his heart. “Julian?” Garak asked timidly when Julian came out fully dressed.

“I’m going back to my quarters to shower and catch up on a few things before going back to work.” Julian announced coolly. He didn’t know how he felt about Garak’s actions right now. He knew he was angry, but he was angrier that he knew he would forgive Garak. He wanted to tell Garak he forgave him right there, but how could he do that? Julian hated how he was already making up excuses for Garak in his head and he hated even more that he had to report this latest development to Sloan. Garak still had some sort of connections to Central Command and was perfectly willing to pass along at least certain bits of information to them. Julian had been hoping, though he always knew it was foolish, that Garak had turned his back on that totalitarian government completely.

“Will I see you later?” Garak asked hopefully. Julian shrugged.

“I’ll be in the infirmary.” Julian adjusted his uniform and looked at his sleeve as if there were a piece of dirt or something there to keep his attention. “If you’re lucky, you might trip and fall and you’ll have to come see me.” Julian clicked his tongue and left Garak’s quarters without another word.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late!


	45. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garak confronts Quark.

                          Garak stormed into Quark’s quarters once Dr. Bashir left. It was his unexpected visit that caused Julian to find out about Garak’s report to Central Command and what business did he have with Garak anyway?

“Garak!” Quark shrieked when Garak broke in. He hurriedly hid something behind his back and then flashed a nervous smile. “How nice to see you.”

“What are you hiding, Quark?” Garak asked pleasantly with a smile.

“What? This?” Quark looked at the device he was holding as if he’d never seen it before. “Uh, couldn’t say, actually. Just holding it for a friend, who, I believe, wanted it back so if you’ll excuse me…” Quark tried to walk past Garak to get to the door but Garak stopped him with a firm hand.

“It looks like a cloaking device.” Garak smirked before taking the device out of Quark’s hands. “I must say, it’s impressive you got your hands on one, even if it is an outdated model.” Garak examined the equipment, it was definitely Romulan in origin but about a century old in design and not issued by the Empire itself. Most likely this was a prototype that someone had stolen.

“A cloaking device, you say?” Quark feigned surprise. “You know, my friend is a collector of antique technology so that’s probably why he wants it.” Quark reached for the device but Garak lifted it away, signifying he was not about to return it very easily.

“Why did you visit my quarters earlier, Quark?” Garak glared, done with games. “And then to leave without saying what you wanted…” Garak shook his head. “I don’t like my time being wasted like that.”

“I couldn’t say anything in front of Dr. Bashir.” Quark grumbled.

“I take it you wanted to get me involved in something illegal?” Garak sighed. It would explain why Quark wouldn’t be talkative in front of a Starfleet officer.

“Garak, I need your help.” Quark sighed.

“To rescue Professor Lang and her students?” Garak guessed and Quark nodded. “And why would I help you?”

“Because you know what it’s like to be in love.” Quark’s face was pleading, like he was begging for Garak to empathize with him. “You know how love can change you into someone with…” Quark scoffed at himself, “ _morals_.”

“I resent the implication that I’ve been corrupted for the better.” Garak smirked.

“You’re the only person I know who could find a way to take down the security field in the prison cell.” Quark gulped. “I need your help.”

“You believe that because I’m dating the doctor, I’ve suddenly become a bleeding heart for lost causes like him?” Garak scoffed.

“I believe you want him to be proud of you.” Quark nodded. “I can tell that you’re still in disbelief that he wants to marry you. You’re desperate to feel like you’ve earned his trust.” Garak was silent and looked Quark up and down before he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head and handed the cloaking device back to Quark. “I can’t help you. You’re right, I do love him, so I can’t risk being caught and losing everything.” Garak sighed and bit his lip. “I _do_ hope you understand.”

“Unfortunately,” Quark grumbled with a nervous smile. “I do.”

\--

“Well don’t just stand there,” Garak smiled, revealing himself from where he was hiding just after shooting Toran. “Your ship is waiting.” Garak averted his gaze as Quark and Professor Lang said a heartfelt goodbye and the three Cardassian dissidents were then off.

“You were waiting for us.” Quark stated when he turned his attention back to Garak.

“And you’re lucky I was too.” Garak nodded. “I figured Toran was hoping they’d escape so he could kill them.”

“If you knew that, why didn’t you warn me before?” Quark asked.

“I love Cardassia.” Garak said firmly. “I needed to evaluate what was best for my home.”

“But Dr. Bashir is now your new home.” Quark nodded with new understanding. That actually hadn’t been what Garak meant. “So your love for him was more important than politics.”

“I…” Garak was taken off-guard by that assertion, that his loyalties were being accused of changing so drastically. “I don’t understand.”

“That’s the thing about love,” Quark smirked. “No one understands it, do they?” Quark began to leave the docking bay and glanced over his shoulder, expecting Garak to join him. When Garak didn’t move, Quark shrugged and left.

                     Garak just stood there for a moment, not really sure of anything. He had just killed Toran, a man he’d known since he was an adolescent, without a second thought. It wasn’t like he was ever friends with Toran and he was honestly more of a loose end or a threat than anything, but Garak hadn’t needed to involve himself. But he felt it was necessary for him to stop the Professor and her students from being destroyed. Garak then heard a noise behind him and he whirled around, phaser in hand, to see the source which also happened to be the reason he’d just betrayed Tain.

“It’s only me, Elim.” Julian said quickly when he came out from his hiding place behind some crates with his hands up. “It’s alright.”

“You…” Garak paused, blinking. “You saw everything?” Julian blushed.

“Yes,” Julian glanced away with his hands still up and a guilty smile, “I saw what you did.”

“Are you going to report me?” Garak asked, still holding his phaser up.

“Hardly.” Julian laughed before looking a bit surprised at himself. “I mean, I’m not happy about a death, obviously, I only mean, well, it was to protect Professor Lang, Hogue, and Rekelan so it’s justified in a way,” Julian began rambling and quoting various Federation philosophers and bending ideologies in an effort to justify Garak’s latest murder before Garak walked over to him and placed a finger on his lips.

“It’s alright to be happy that a bad man is gone.” Garak didn’t even view Toran as a bad man, just a threatening one.

“That’s not what I’m happy about.” Julian smiled. “You did it for me, didn’t you?” And that was it, wasn’t it? This human had turned Garak into a traitor.

“I love you.” Garak smiled, feeling his heart break in two. The half that loved Julian and the half that was still loyal to Tain.

“I’ll never doubt that again.” Julian smiled into a kiss with Garak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not post this weekend as I won't be home but I will try so we'll see :)


	46. Out of Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian reports to Sloan but he doesn't know that Garak makes a report of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *reemerges* Heeeeyyyyyyy, how ya been, guys?
> 
> I'M BACK :D

“Any news?” Sloan asked once he appeared on screen, however his smug smile implied he’d already heard.

“You are cordially invited to the wedding of Dr. Julian Bashir and Elim Garak.” Julian gave a small bow with his head and a happy smile.

“I’m pretty sure all of Starfleet has already heard.” Sloan crossed his arms with a laugh. “That Trill friend of yours seems to be quite a gossip.”

“Dax helped negotiate the Khitomer Accords.” Julian defended reflexively before realizing he was correcting an admiral. “Well, I mean, the point is that he’s agreed to marry me.”

“Congratulations on your engagement.” Sloan nodded. “Let’s hope this one goes better than the last.” Sloan was referring to Palis and how Julian’s relationship with her had ended. It stung, not as badly as it did before he’d fallen in love with Garak, but still.

“Well, I don’t even know Elim’s father so the same thing can’t really happen.” Julian grumbled.

“I meant no offense.” Sloan chuckled. “You were willing to report on your own fiancé’s father to uphold the ideals of the Federation, it’s what made me know I could trust you as an agent.” Julian hadn’t known where else to turn when he discovered that Palis’ father was smuggling drugs from his hospital to the Orions. The local authorities were hardly prepared for such a report and the Orion Syndicate was a Starfleet matter. Admiral Luther Sloan had just lectured at Starfleet Medical on the pheromones of female Orions and how to tell if a patient had been affected by them. It had been an odd lecture, more political than medical, but an interesting one that Julian had found fascinating. Most importantly, it provided Julian with an introduction to someone who had worked specifically in combatting the Orion Syndicate.

“Narcotics are harmful.” Julian said. “As a doctor, my job is to keep people from getting sick and to save lives.” Of course Julian agreed with Federation ideals, but he didn’t view his report as patriotic as much as his duty as a humanitarian.

“No need to defend making the right choice.” Sloan sighed. “Mr. Garak marrying you does not mean he’s going to fully defect, you know.” He warned. “You said he still reported the dissidents to his native government.”

“Yes, but I have another update for you.” Julian declared proudly. “A Gul Toran was sent to kill the dissidents during an escape attempt,”

“Yes, but the dissidents killed him first.” Sloan nodded.

“It wasn’t the dissidents.” Julian smirked and shook his head. “It was Garak.”

“Garak killed Gul Toran?” Sloan asked in surprise. Julian nodded. “Do you know why exactly?”

“He did it out of loyalty to me.” Julian smiled. “He knew I’d be angry if harm came to Professor Lang or her students, so he defended them.”

“He told you this?” Sloan asked, suspiciously.

“I witnessed it.” Julian said firmly.

“Have you reported this murder to Commander Sisko?”

“I wanted to tell you first, sir.” Julian said quickly. “I mean, there’s no use getting Garak thrown in jail, right? I assumed you would inform him with context that no legal action will be taken.”

“There isn’t an investigation, is there?” Sloan tapped his chin with a finger and seemed to be considering something.

“No, sir.” Julian shook his head. “Everyone is assuming that Toran was killed by the dissidents as they escaped.”

“Then I see no need to tell Sisko at all.” Sloan shrugged.

“Sir?” Julian blinked. “It’s his station.” He said dumbly as if Sloan didn’t know that.

“Yes, I’m well aware.” Sloan rolled his eyes. “While the Commander may have learned about your mission, he’s still only meant to be informed on a need to know basis, if you remember.”

“Right.” Julian stammered, surprised by the response. “Yes, sir, understood.” Something didn’t feel right, keeping Commander Sisko in the dark on things that were happening on his own station. Hadn’t Sisko proven he could be trusted by already cooperating with Julian and Sloan? It felt unnecessarily dishonest. Julian already had enough secrets, he was beginning to feel like he was drowning in them.

“Proceed with your wedding plans,” Sloan smirked, “but make sure to keep an eye on that Cardassian, he’s still far from trustworthy.” With that, Sloan’s transmission cut out and Julian was left to sit alone in his quarters feeling dirty.

                      Julian felt as though he’d betrayed Garak despite the fact that he wanted no harm to come to him. He didn’t realize that while he reported to Sloan about Garak, Garak reported to Tain about Julian. Garak couldn’t stand the guilt of being a traitor to Cardassia any longer, he told Tain about Julian. He told Tain everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, I'm going to switch to uploading weekly instead of daily again for a while just because this semester I'm really trying to pull my shit together (I have all As right now! I'm hoping to keep that up) and I have a lot heavier of a workload.
> 
> Sorry I disappeared for a while with no set return date. Also, if you sent me a prompt on tumblr, I will post a fill for them eventually, I have not forgotten about them.


	47. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian feels guilty about not telling Garak the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to see Honeypot fanart? Check out this GORGEOUS piece that I am over the moon about! https://girafffeee.tumblr.com/post/173969531664/honeypot-noun-in-the-world-of-espionage-it
> 
> also,hi, really sorry about disappearing for a while there.

                       Garak opened his door when he heard the chime ring and was unsurprised to see Julian standing there.

“Flowers.” Julian happily offered a vibrant bouquet.

“Brilliant deduction.” Garak chuckled. “Did you figure out they were flowers all by yourself?” Julian looked surprised and then laughed.

“They’re for _you_ , Elim.” Julian grinned before again pushing them toward Garak, this time Garak took them. “It’s a Human tradition to give flowers to someone you love.”

“Really?” Garak smiled as he looked at the bouquet with new meaning. “And what do I give back?”

“Nothing.” Julian shook his head while he stepped inside. “It’s really just to show that I care and that I think of you as special.”

“That hardly seems fair.” Garak frowned as he found a vase to put the flowers in. “I should repay you for such a lovely gift.” In actuality, Garak felt guilty. Julian had trusted him with his most guarded secret and Garak had told Tain. It wasn’t like Garak _wanted_ to tell Tain about Julian’s augments, but Garak felt he had a duty to Cardassia. He still yearned to be forgiven by Tain and allowed back home. However, every time Garak thought about his deception, he felt worse and worse.

“A kiss would make us more than even?” Julian bit his lip and looked at Garak hopefully.

“I always pay my debts.” Garak smiled and then gave Julian a short and sweet kiss.

“I love you so much.” Julian was searching Garak’s eyes with a trace of worry. “You know that, right?”

“Is something wrong?” Garak gulped. It was almost as if Julian was being so earnest and dear to make Garak feel worse about betraying him.

“I guess I’m just worried you’re going to back out of the wedding still.” Julian laughed nervously.

“Sit down, my dear.” Garak instructed and motioned to the couch. Julian did as he was told. “Let’s work some of the tension out of those shoulders.” Garak began to massage Julian’s shoulders and the young doctor sighed.

“You’re too good to me.” Julian breathed, almost sadly.

“Why do you insist on being negative about yourself all of a sudden?” Garak scolded as he focused on one knot in particular. “I’d be an absolute fool to leave you.” Julian pulled away from Garak’s touch and turned around to face him. Before Garak could say anything, Julian gave Garak a long and slow kiss, moving Garak back on the couch.

“Elim, I…” Julian gulped and looked as if he were thinking about confessing something. “I have to tell you something.”

“Yes, dear?” Garak asked as he reached up to caress Julian’s cheek.

“I spoke to Admiral Sloan…” Julian truly looked terrified about continuing so it seemed he didn’t. The silence hung there for far too long.

“And?” Garak finally whispered.

“And…” Julian inhaled deeply before letting out a slight laugh. “I invited him to our wedding.” Garak blinked, surprised that that was the confession. “I’m sorry, I should have asked you first and it sort of just came up and—“Garak cut Julian off with another kiss.

“You really are too darling sometimes, you know that?” Garak chuckled.

“You’re not mad?” Julian asked hopefully.

“Hardly.” Garak scoffed. “You can invite whoever you like, it’s not as if my side will be filling up many seats.” Garak smiled at Julian fondly. “It will mostly be your friends and family.”

“My friends, maybe.” Julian corrected.

“You’re not going to invite your family?” Garak asked. Julian looked away for a moment. “In truth, I’m not sure I would invite mine even if I could, so I’m certainly not judging.” Julian still said nothing. “My father, for example, he and I hardly ever really spoke.” Garak wouldn’t normally reveal this much about himself, but he desperately wanted Julian to cheer up. “I’m not sure if you’ve experienced the same thing…” Julian shook his head.

“No.” He sighed. “Too much involvement was the issue with my father.”

“I suppose there’s more than one way to ruin a childhood.” Garak said with a wry smile. That got a smirk out of Julian.

“’Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.’” Julian scoffed.

“That’s very astute.” Garak nodded.

“It’s a quote.” Julian admitted. “Tolstoy.”

“Ah.” Garak nodded as if the name meant something to him. “Julian,” Garak began carefully, “you can invite whoever you like but that also means you can choose to not invite whoever you like as well.” Julian smiled gratefully. “Though I would appreciate it if I were permitted to attend.” Garak joked.

“Mm, I don’t know.” Julian jokingly pondered. “If you’re there, I might have a hard time focusing.” Julian moved a finger to trace the closure of Garak’s tunic. “All I’ll want to do is make love to you instead.”

“Then perhaps we should get that out of your system now?” Garak proposed with a smile. Julian leaned down and gave his agreement with a kiss.


	48. Vow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian gets a call from Odo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo~
> 
> In case you haven't figured it out yet, Honeypot will now be updated every Wednesday until it's completion :D

                          Julian was resting his head on Garak’s chest and was gently stroking Garak’s scales. His brow was furrowed and he wanted more than anything to just stop his mind from thinking. He wanted the thoughts to stop swirling around in his head so he could just be happy that he was lying there with the man he loved. Still, his mind kept repeating one thing over and over again: _You’re lying to him_.

 

“Julian?” Garak whispered. It seemed he’d woken up.

 

“Mm?” Julian looked at him with an innocent smile.

 

“Are you alright?” Garak asked, his eyes were so open and filled with concern. “You seem a bit preoccupied.”

 

“I love you.” Julian moved to kiss Garak but Garak turned his face away.

 

“That is not an answer.” Garak said before looking confused. “You keep reassuring me about your love instead of telling me what’s actually bothering you.”

 

“Sometimes I worry you’ll leave me.” Julian said with a nervous chuckle and a shrug.

 

“Or you’re trying to convince yourself.” Garak breathed.

 

“What?”

 

“Are you having second thoughts, Julian?” Garak asked.

 

“What?!” Julian sat up in shock. “Elim, no!”

 

“Something is bothering you, doctor.” Garak rolled his eyes and sat up as well. “I thought I was supposed to be the secretive one in this relationship.”

 

“Well, what do you want me to say, Elim?” Julian huffed. “Tell you every intimate detail of my life and every thought that crosses my mind when you’ll hardly tell me a damn thing?” Julian immediately regretted losing his temper when he saw the surprised look on Garak’s face. “Wait, no, that wasn’t fair.”

 

“Actually, it was.” Garak soothed and placed his hand on Julian’s with a warm smile. “I’m not attempting to pry, my dear, I simply wanted to relieve you of your burden.” Julian gave Garak a grateful smile and then a sweet and simple kiss on the lips.

 

“Sorry about snapping at you.” Julian said sheepishly.

 

“Sorry about making you angry.” Garak replied. Julian cupped Garak’s cheek and looked deep in Garak’s eyes. Maybe he couldn’t tell Garak the truth about how he’d been assigned to him, but he could tell him the truth about his feelings.

 

“Elim, even if I keep secrets from you, I need you to know that I love you.” Julian held up his right hand and made sure his face was completely serious. “I swear to you that no matter what I may say or do, I will never intend to harm you. Mentally, physically, or emotionally.” He gave Garak a small smile.

 

“Are you making a vow?” Garak asked.

 

“I’m trying to let you know that even if there are times I can’t give you everything, give you all of _me_ , I could never stop loving you.” Julian gulped a bit nervously. “I’m an officer in Starfleet. I live a dangerous life at times and sometimes that requires secrecy.” that was essentially the gist of it. As a Starfleet officer, Julian was gathering intelligence on Garak. “But I adore you and can’t imagine my life without you now that I’ve finally found you.” Garak blinked in obvious astonishment before giving a small smile of his own and placing the palm of his hand against Julian’s.

 

“I suppose that makes two of us.” Garak sighed. “I make the same solemn promise to you.” Julian’s face split into a wide grin and his eyes were filled with excitement. “Now that’s the kind of expression I much prefer seeing you wear.”

 

“It’s hard for me not to smile when I’m with you.”

 

“Oh, don’t exaggerate.” Garak laughed and dropped his hand, Julian did the same. “You were rather mad at me the other day when Quark stopped by.”

 

“Actually…” Julian bit his lip guiltily, “That was all for show.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Well, I _was_ mad at you in a way,” Julian explained, “but it was more on principal. As in, I knew I _should_ be angry with you, so I felt I had to assert myself.”

 

“But in actuality?” Garak had an amused look on his face.

 

“I knew I would forgive you formally in just under a day.” Julian shrugged. “It’s not like I want to fight.”

 

“A Federation pacifist.” Garak shook his head. “You shouldn’t have told me that, now I know you’ll let me get away with more than I previously thought.”

 

“So that’s one of the secrets I should have kept?” Julian asked with a laugh.

 

“It would have been wise.” Garak nodded. “But I’m sure you have plenty of other ways to manipulate me that I’m still vulnerable to.”

 

“Ways that you _want_ to be vulnerable to.” Julian smiled and ever so gently stroked Garak’s chufa. Garak’s eyes went hazy as he let out a shudder.

 

“I don’t really stand a chance, do I?” Garak breathed.

 

“I know I don’t.” Julian whispered before kissing Garak deeply.

 

“Odo to Dr. Bashir.” The changeling’s voice came from Julian’s badge on the nightstand and Julian groaned before reaching to grab it.

 

“Bashir here.” He sighed.

 

“I need to see you in the security office, doctor, I’m afraid it’s urgent.” He sounded somewhat grumpy, but that was normal for Odo.

 

“Medical emergency?” Julian asked as he got up and began grabbing his clothes.

 

“No, this is about information.” Odo assured.

 

“Right,” Julian sighed again as he started getting dressed. “I’ll be right there.” Julian turned to Garak once he was half dressed. “I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

 

“I hope so.” Garak sighed and lay back on the bed. “There’s a Kardasi word for people who stroke Chufas and then simply leave.”

 

“A ‘tease,’ you mean?” Julian smirked as he put his comm badge and shoes on.

 

“It’s not as fond.” Garak said with a warning look and a smile. “Now hurry back before I stop you from leaving all together.” Julian had a giddy grin on his face as he left.

 

                            Julian practically skipped into the security office, feeling a bit better about his relationship with Garak. He still wasn’t being completely honest with the man he loved but now he’d made sure Garak knew he loved him despite that. Julian still had a wide grin when he met Odo’s stern face.

 

“So,” Odo huffed. “You’re a spy.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun DUN!!!!!
> 
> Odo KNOWS!!!
> 
> ahem. So, if you enjoyed PLEASE comment because I want to make sure people are still reading and enjoying since I've got a lot going on and I need to know y'all are still here.
> 
> Again, super sorry about having been on hiatus not that long ago.


	49. Under Arrest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odo confronts Julian on his suspicions and the station goes into red alert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about no upload last week. I was taking summer classes and that was my finals week.

 

                           Julian stared blankly at Odo for a moment before putting on a practiced confused yet amused face. “I’m sorry?” Julian asked as if he thought he must have misheard.

 

“Doctor, if we could get straight to the point? You’ll find I don’t like lying as much as your fiancé.” That stung a bit. Julian had just started to feel as if lies weren’t the defining aspect of his relationship with Garak but now even an outsider felt they were.

 

“I don’t understand what you’re asking.” Julian said it as if it were a question, wanting Odo to clarify this absurd line of questioning but Julian was actually making a clear statement: he was going to keep up the charade. Odo sighed, he’d obviously understood the true meaning of Julian’s words and did not care for it.

 

“Who are you working for?” Odo crossed his arms and clearly didn’t expect a straight answer.

 

“What do you mean, ‘who am I working for’?” Julian asked, getting a little irritable now. “Odo, really, what exactly are you accusing me of?”

 

“Doctor, I would not be confronting you with my suspicions if I were accusing you of a crime.” Odo scoffed. “I don’t make a habit of friendly conversation with criminals right before throwing them in a cell.”

 

“So, this conversation is friendly?” Julian sniped back as he crossed his own arms. “Well, you could have fooled me.”

 

“It should be no imposition if you have nothing to hide.” Odo said with a smug smile.

 

“You know,” Julian sighed with a smirk of his own, “that logic was often used by the law enforcement of ancient oppressive governments on Earth.”

 

“And if I want a history lesson, I’ll ask for one.” Odo scoffed. “But right now, I just want some answers so I’ll ask again, who are you working for?” Julian knew he was in for a bit of lying and half-truths.

 

“Odo, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lie. “I’m a Starfleet Officer.” Truth.

 

“That is true.” Odo nodded. “Your background is too detailed. Unless you killed a real Dr. Julian Bashir and replaced him, but I doubt it.” If Odo knew how uncomfortable Julian was with the idea of replacing Jules Bashir he would probably give one of his patented “harrumphs” at the irony. “So, you definitely went through the academy and Starfleet Medical and earned your position, but it may have been under false pretenses.”

 

“And what would those be?” Julian said with an exasperated sigh. It seemed Odo wasn’t really on the right track which was a bit of a relief but Julian didn’t like being under suspicion.

 

“You tell me.” Odo said with a smirk.

 

“This is ridiculous!” Julian exclaimed. “I have done nothing wrong!”

 

“And that’s why you’re not in a cell.” Odo explained. “I know there’s more going on here than what you claim, but you could have caused a great deal of damage as the Chief Medical Officer and yet you haven’t.” Odo walked over to his desk and then picked up a PADD. “Quite the opposite, in fact. You’ve gone through great lengths to save countless lives on the station.” Julian let himself relax a bit. Maybe Odo wasn’t about to make wild accusations.

 

“What even makes you think I’m a spy?” Julian asked out of genuine curiosity. He’d thought he had done a good job of keeping a low profile in that sense. “It’s not my relationship with Elim, is it?”

 

“Hardly.” Odo laughed. “Though I will admit that my discovery of your involvement is the reason I started investigating you.”

 

“Some would find that bigoted.” Julian said.

 

“Some didn’t see what the Cardassians are capable of.” Odo countered.

 

“Listen, Odo,” Julian sighed. “I can only say I’m not a spy so many times. If you have some evidence or some point you’d like to make, please make it or else I’m going to go back to my fiancé.” Odo opened his mouth to respond when the station went into red alert. “What’s going on?” Julian asked quickly in surprise.

 

“I don’t know.” Odo said, looking equally shocked. His eyes then narrowed and he looked around suspiciously.

 

“I should get to the infirmary.” Julian announced before heading out to leave the security office.

 

“Doctor,” Odo walked up to Julian and grimaced. “I don’t like that once I confront you an emergency happens to allow you an excuse to leave.”

 

“Just what are you saying?” Julian asked, fearing he knew the answer.

 

“Dr. Bashir, I am placing you in temporary confinement until I know exactly what is happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Odo is such a great law enforcer because he just cares about the law which makes him a great referee but he also has no time for your shenanigans. 
> 
> Looks like Garak is going to have to wait a bit longer for Julian to return.


End file.
